My ECT journey

It has been a while since I’ve written on the forums, let alone create a topic. However, here I am, preparing myself for a journal like topic as I begin the process of receiving ECT. I fell head first into another depressive relapse that landed me back in hospital.

This was annoying in so much as I work as an independent advocate at the same unit, so the staff that are responsible for my care are the same people I speak to on a regular basis as part of my work - I felt this was a conflict of interests but bed management were unable to get me an out of area placement.

Having a duel diagnosis- depression and autistic spectrum disorder has meant that I’ve had a couple of sensory meltdowns that are embarrassing at any time but even more so when it’s with people I usually have a professional working relationship with.

ECT has been discussed and then referral made as I have become treatment resistant - on the maximum advisable dosage of medication that has worked over the past 8 years.

I have been led to believe treatment will begin next week and will then be twice a week for up to 6 weeks.

Part of my work entails working with people who are considering the treatment, but to find myself on the patient side has been a reality check and I’d be lying if I said that I wasn’t nervous, nor overthinking the risks.

I will keep you posted as treatment continues but I would be interested in hearing the experiences of those that have received ECT themselves.

I havent myself, but a few close friends and relatives have, and everyone says they are fine. Okay, one was my mother saying an older male in-law was fine, so that was really pretty meaningless. But another was a female friend of mine, and she seemed alright. Still unreasonable in some of her expectations of life, but much more active in life than i have been, esp recently. But hey i dont have rich men in my life.

It’s so good to see you are still about and an active member of the forum! Unsure what you meant/relevance of rich men. Is this in relation to medical coverage in the US for such treatment?

No i mean she had a rich father, has a hard working husband - ive always paid my rent and my cars myself.

And thanks! I was so glad to hear how you are doing.

Life is weird for sure.

I had ECT and the memory loss is no joke. I have about 5 years of lost memories. At that time I lost my job due to long hospitalizations and stress that it involved. Yet I don't remember how the job ended. Weird. It becomes difficult when prospective employers asked what you did in that gap, because I have no answer.

So, I’ve been informed that they will try and slot me in for the first appointment of the day on Tuesday Morning.

Having a bit of certainty has helped as I’m finding it harder to keep a grip on suicidal intent.

I am sorry to hear that that was your experience. I know that memory loss is a risk but that sounds like it is vying on the extreme end of that side effect.

I cannot relate, I am sorry

No need to Fuzzy, lovely to see you!

Hello, Toejam! On the old PsychCentral forums there were a number of threads where people shared their experiences of ECT. I vaguely remember the related experiences ran the gamut from outstanding to damaging. My former psychiatrist had frequently administered ECT during his long career, and he told me the most frequently observed "adverse event" was short-term memory loss.

I may be headed for transcranial magnetic stimulation (TMS) treatments, but nothing scheduled yet.

I wish you only good things from your treatments!

off topic, I'm pretty sure that Papa bear (my husband) is ''high functioning'' ASD. He doesn't have depression and doesn't want to consult a professional (I have not had good experiences with multiple professionals I've consulted for depression etc...) (sorry this isn't helpful, hospitals also completely freak me out although I have had suicidal ideation and even intent I've stayed away from that )

I hope the ECT goes well for you!

I feel like deleting this post (sense of deja vu .... )

Thank you Rohag and Fuzzy. Please do not delete your post, it gives me comfort to hear from you 🙂

On a positive note, I’ve been texting friends I haven’t spoken to in years (they saw social media posts) and mending broken bridges. Goes to show that time can be a healer I guess.

Yes, I’ve heard good things of that type of treatment. They have the machine where i am going but it’s very new tech to them and expensive to use apparently

Just over 12 hours to go for first session. A bit nervous, but also hopeful that this is the start of a proper recovery.

So had my first session yesterday morning. I was a bit groggy and confused for a few hours after, but it didn’t hurt. Can’t say I feel much different, but not expecting it to; apparently takes at least 6 to see ant noticeable change. Next session is on Friday. I was cautious beforehand and made notes of key memories in case I had memory loss, but so far so good on that front.

Today, I ache in places I wouldn’t imagine aching but I’m guessing that was from the convulsions.

Anyway, so far so good.

Just had my second round about an hour ago. I was told I had a good convulsion though I don’t remember any of it of course. It’s weird having general aesthetic and not having a physical operation, there is nothing tangible to account for it. A little wobbly on my feet, but no issues with my memory... I felt pretty sharp when they were asking post session question on who I was, what day it was, where I was etc.

On leaving I bumped into a friend who was at the same place for her depot and got a hug which was really nice. Had some pain killers for the start of a head ache.

Your a hero for doing this.

That’s very kind of you to say still a bit fuzzy headed so I’ll take the compliment but I bit befuddled as to why

Oh - because im a chicken! I thought about doing it. I really appreciate your posting your thoughts and feelings afterwards. It makes it a lot less scary.