[jrae]

i am in a fairly dark place. and it's only getting worse.

i'm currently on injuries #15 & #16 in less than 18 months! i'm so beaten down- physically, emotionally, mentally.... i'm not at the point of needing a reason to continue, but i'm getting there.

what's the point of even talking to anyone?! i know that sounds bad, i'm sorry. the anxiety, the fear, the pain (kinda), the 'd' of course, the stress of it all - it's just all so dam overwhelming! i'd LOVE to go hide in a dark room, for weeks. but cancelling my doctors appts (physical health that is) would probably 'signal' something to my doctors -> which is NOT something i can deal with.

idk......... i just can't keep doing / going thru this s**t anymore! i don't even want to tell my doctors anything more/new cuz i don't want to go thru more (as in appts or other docs or meds). i just wanna be done with all this s**t! i'm so frickin' tired....
[ i don't even have the energy to come on here anymore ]

[SprinkL3]

[jrae]

it is unimaginable that this s**t continues to keep happening

[SprinkL3]

I hope things get better for you, @jrae

You sound like you're in a lot of emotional or stressful pain.

The good doctors can help, but the bad ones - not so much. I hope you have good doctors, and that whatever is going on is manageable - at least once the doctors find out what is going on.

I get frustrated with my medical issues that seemingly are ignored until I'm "old enough" (I'm 47, so 50 or 60 are the magical years when maybe the docs will start to take my symptoms seriously - if I'm not worsened by then, and if I'm still alive.)

I also struggle with my mental illness, though I do have a good therapist to help me learn better coping skills for each particular issue that comes up. It's not an overnight process, but it's doable. It's painful, but doable.

I hope you are able to find support through this rough time, and I hope you find the help and healing you need.

Hang in there.