advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
loren1975
Junior Member
 
loren1975's Avatar
loren1975 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2021
Location: Illiniois
Posts: 20
2 yr Member
Trig Nov 15, 2021 at 10:58 AM
  #1
I was not sure where to post this but my main problem has always been depression so...The title of this post is not quite right because it should be the response to COVID ruined my progress.

I want to start by saying this post may upset some people so I would advise people that have lots of fear regarding COVID stop right here.

First, I want to give you a little back ground. My mental health issues have crippled me all my life. My life has mostly been one of isolation, self-hatred, and sadness. I have enjoyed very little of life's pleasures. That being said I did not give up! I worked with a therapist for years and it did help. I worked up the nerve to actually start school through the ticket to work program. It was hard, believe me. Especially since I was so much older than the average college student, and having to do actual speeches! My god I would never have believed I could make it through that, but I did.

My goal was to get a degree in network administration and security. I was scheduled to graduate Spring 2020 then the dreaded COVID came along. Since then, it's like I did all that work for nothing! After all the restriction started to kick in, I could no longer see my therapist in person. I could no longer see the person from DHS that was helping me through the process, and I really depended on her too. She was more like another therapist really. I could no longer see the professor that was the head of my IT department. He was a great professor too! We developed a real good working relationship (I end up being Network admin for the IT department). He was all about helping people to get started in the field. I know he would have been of great help to me with guards to finding employment. Then all of the sudden everything was shut down and locked up! All this started just as I was finishing my degree. I was able to finish and get my degree but since the Spring of 2020 it's been nothing but back sliding for me.

I know many will say, oh well you could be using skype or the phone. Well that is true but I really need personal interaction. I need appointments that will get me out of the house. I need a reason to get out of bed, shower, put some nice clothes on and get out there in the world. I have isolated all my life and going back into isolation was one of the worst things I could have done.

At first, I thought all this will be over at the most in 6 months and I can get back on tract. Well here we are. It's almost a year and a half since I graduated and frankly, I don't even have the desire to get out there anymore.

My therapist moved on. I still can't see the DHS lady in person. I don't know, she may not even be there anymore. I wrote to her but never got anything back so maybe she is gone too. I lost touch with the professor and now I feel ashamed to even contact him because I have done basically nothing since graduation. I never did tell him my whole story and really dont want to.
In my personal opinion I think the action taken were unnecessary and hurt who knows how many people in ways we won't understand for years. At the very least the lock downs should not have gone on so long.

Before you tell me of the great dangers of COVID I will tell you of my personal experience with it. In Feb. of 2020 I had the it! Who knows what I really had but I will tell you it was the sickest I had been in a long time. I had high fever and it effected my lungs pretty hard. The coughing and not being able to catch my breath was not good. I was pretty bad with the fever for 3 or 4 days but the breathing problems just lingered on. My mom finally talked me in to going to the doctor because she thought I had pneumonia. It turned out that my lungs were clear. They give me influenza test but by that time I was already recovered enough that that did not show. Maybe it was not the "it" but who knows, my cousin grandchild test positive and all he had was a sore throat and he has a history of having strep throat so again who knows.
I am not saying it's not bad. I am saying personally I don't think it is the boogeyman either. At the time I was sick I had all the hallmarks of COVID-19. I survived it and I am a BIG FAT 30 year long smoker in my mid 40's at the time. I live in a small house with my 85 year old mother and 27 year old nephew. No attempt was made to isolate me. My mother did get sick around that time but it was nothing compared to what I had and my nephew never got sick all.

Well that's my story.
loren1975 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Buffy01, Rohag, T4bbyCat, ToeJam, unaluna, Yaowen
 
Thanks for this!
Buffy01

advertisement
Yaowen
Grand Magnate
 
Yaowen's Avatar
Yaowen has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jan 2020
Location: USA
Posts: 3,618 (SuperPoster!)
3 yr Member
6,475 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Nov 15, 2021 at 07:05 PM
  #2
I'm so sorry that happened to you . . . such a a cascade of misfortune. It is really really heartbreaking. Which I knew what to say.
Yaowen is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
loren1975
Junior Member
 
loren1975's Avatar
loren1975 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2021
Location: Illiniois
Posts: 20
2 yr Member
Default Nov 16, 2021 at 06:59 AM
  #3
Thank you. I dont know what to do I feel like the big fat failure again!
loren1975 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Rohag
Legendary
 
Rohag's Avatar
Rohag is always updating.
 
Member Since: Feb 2009
Posts: 10,009
15 yr Member
15.2k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Nov 18, 2021 at 03:34 PM
  #4
Is there a Department of Employment Security operating in your area?

__________________
My dog mastered the "fetch" command. He would communicate he wanted something, and I would fetch it.
Rohag is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Buffy01
Wise Elder
 
Buffy01's Avatar
Buffy01 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 9,461 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
9,664 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Nov 18, 2021 at 08:06 PM
  #5
Quote:
Originally Posted by loren1975 View Post
I was not sure where to post this but my main problem has always been depression so...The title of this post is not quite right because it should be the response to COVID ruined my progress.

I want to start by saying this post may upset some people so I would advise people that have lots of fear regarding COVID stop right here.

First, I want to give you a little back ground. My mental health issues have crippled me all my life. My life has mostly been one of isolation, self-hatred, and sadness. I have enjoyed very little of life's pleasures. That being said I did not give up! I worked with a therapist for years and it did help. I worked up the nerve to actually start school through the ticket to work program. It was hard, believe me. Especially since I was so much older than the average college student, and having to do actual speeches! My god I would never have believed I could make it through that, but I did.

My goal was to get a degree in network administration and security. I was scheduled to graduate Spring 2020 then the dreaded COVID came along. Since then, it's like I did all that work for nothing! After all the restriction started to kick in, I could no longer see my therapist in person. I could no longer see the person from DHS that was helping me through the process, and I really depended on her too. She was more like another therapist really. I could no longer see the professor that was the head of my IT department. He was a great professor too! We developed a real good working relationship (I end up being Network admin for the IT department). He was all about helping people to get started in the field. I know he would have been of great help to me with guards to finding employment. Then all of the sudden everything was shut down and locked up! All this started just as I was finishing my degree. I was able to finish and get my degree but since the Spring of 2020 it's been nothing but back sliding for me.

I know many will say, oh well you could be using skype or the phone. Well that is true but I really need personal interaction. I need appointments that will get me out of the house. I need a reason to get out of bed, shower, put some nice clothes on and get out there in the world. I have isolated all my life and going back into isolation was one of the worst things I could have done.

At first, I thought all this will be over at the most in 6 months and I can get back on tract. Well here we are. It's almost a year and a half since I graduated and frankly, I don't even have the desire to get out there anymore.

My therapist moved on. I still can't see the DHS lady in person. I don't know, she may not even be there anymore. I wrote to her but never got anything back so maybe she is gone too. I lost touch with the professor and now I feel ashamed to even contact him because I have done basically nothing since graduation. I never did tell him my whole story and really dont want to.
In my personal opinion I think the action taken were unnecessary and hurt who knows how many people in ways we won't understand for years. At the very least the lock downs should not have gone on so long.

Before you tell me of the great dangers of COVID I will tell you of my personal experience with it. In Feb. of 2020 I had the it! Who knows what I really had but I will tell you it was the sickest I had been in a long time. I had high fever and it effected my lungs pretty hard. The coughing and not being able to catch my breath was not good. I was pretty bad with the fever for 3 or 4 days but the breathing problems just lingered on. My mom finally talked me in to going to the doctor because she thought I had pneumonia. It turned out that my lungs were clear. They give me influenza test but by that time I was already recovered enough that that did not show. Maybe it was not the "it" but who knows, my cousin grandchild test positive and all he had was a sore throat and he has a history of having strep throat so again who knows.
I am not saying it's not bad. I am saying personally I don't think it is the boogeyman either. At the time I was sick I had all the hallmarks of COVID-19. I survived it and I am a BIG FAT 30 year long smoker in my mid 40's at the time. I live in a small house with my 85 year old mother and 27 year old nephew. No attempt was made to isolate me. My mother did get sick around that time but it was nothing compared to what I had and my nephew never got sick all.

Well that's my story.
I’m sorry that you are struggling right now. My niece and her boyfriend had covid she had sinus really bad complain her hair made her head hurt and she had a sore throat where her boyfriend had no sense of smell and was coughing a lot. Everyone struggles in life. Be kind to yourself.

__________________
Everyone can do magic - Cassie Nightgale the good witch.

Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live.

This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak.

In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living.

Like love, it's how we know we're alive.

And life goes on.

That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries
Buffy01 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 06:13 PM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.