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Grand Member
Member Since Jul 2015
Location: On a wall
Posts: 813
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Jan 23, 2022 at 03:09 PM
#1
Everyday I am depressed to some extent or another. Every day I am thinking about suicide. I am so tired of feeling this way. I don't have the courage to kill myself & I know better than to mention being suicidal to a "professional". So I'm stuck in this never ending loop. I'm on 3 different meds for depression and it seems like it helps but then other times..... I don't know how to explain it. I hate being dependent on meds but that's where I'm at. The only reason I am taking them and seeing a Dr is to keep my marriage.
__________________ It's only paranoia until it happens. Why I don't trust doctors Things You Wish People Understood About Depression I mean what I say & I say what I mean. |
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Disreputable Old Troll
Member Since Oct 2015
Location: The Star of the North
Posts: 32,762
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Jan 23, 2022 at 06:55 PM
#2
I'm sorry you are having such a difficult time.
 Actually, yours and my situations are quite similar. (I'll spare you the details.)  I hope that, in some way, you will be able to find a path to at least some sort of peace in your life. 
__________________ "I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last) |
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Humpty Dumpty, T4bbyCat
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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,325
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Feb 17, 2022 at 12:34 PM
#3
It's very very tiring I agree. I also feel depressed and suicidal
  
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Feb 18, 2022 at 04:51 AM
#4
I wish I had the answers
I have no idea what in life (if anything) will make me want to be here and enjoy it |
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| Fuzzybear, Humpty Dumpty, Pinny, T4bbyCat
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Super Moderator
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Member Since May 2014
Location: Northeast USA New England
Posts: 17,396
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Feb 23, 2022 at 10:16 AM
#5
I have also had severely depressed thoughts, but when I looked at them carefully, I saw they were only thoughts. They may seem to be my thoughts, but on the other hand they were just thoughts. The more I watched them, the more I saw I did not need to act on these thoughts. In fact they started to look like weather patterns, like clouds passing overhead. And after they passed there appeared more and different thoughts. If I did not clutch onto those thoughts or claim them as "My Thoughts", then they just seemed to drift away.
I don' t know the answer but I have discovered if I am patient thought patterns change. If I do things like exercise or taking a nap or something that supports me, the whole weather pattern can change. I want to find out how this movie ends, so I intend to stick around no matter how many clouds fill the skies. __________________ Super Moderator Community Support Team "Things Take Time" |
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Grand Member
Member Since Feb 2022
Location: Scotland
Posts: 772
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Feb 23, 2022 at 12:26 PM
#6
Im so sorry youre feeling this way @Humpty Dumpty
 Thats a really rubbish way to feel and Im just so sorry that youre experiencing this  I was just wondering if you have or have had a therapist before? What @CANDC said is very true about thoughts. They are only thoughts but it is very difficult to process them without owning them or laying claim to them inside your own mind.... if that makes sense? A therapist can often help you work on challenging those negative thoughts, which really helped me when I have an episode. Its takes time and patience (and hard work) but it might be something that could help? |
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| CANDC, Fuzzybear
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Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: USA
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Feb 23, 2022 at 03:02 PM
#7
Quote:
__________________ Everyone can do magic - Cassie Nightgale the good witch. Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live. This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak. In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living. Like love, it's how we know we're alive. And life goes on. That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries |
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| Fuzzybear
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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
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Feb 23, 2022 at 04:40 PM
#8
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Super Moderator
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Feb 23, 2022 at 05:52 PM
#9
@Pinny I agree takes time and patience. I feel like I am trying to calm down a kid taking a tantrum sometimes. I keep trying to find things that will distract them so they calm down. My inner child I guess.
__________________ Super Moderator Community Support Team "Things Take Time" |
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My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
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