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Rose76
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Default Jun 03, 2022 at 04:11 AM
  #1
For over a month, I've been sick with an intestinal infection. In and out of the hospital twice. I can't seem to recover. I just can't eat normally. I'm losing weight and weakening. My healthcare system won't even put me under the care of a GI specialist. I barely cope with looking after myself at home. Somedays I'm so sick, I can not even leave the house.

All this has me starting to become seriously depressed. I fear it's just becoming too much for me. I called a crisis line tonight. I told them I'm getting too scared of what suffering is ahead for me.
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Default Jun 03, 2022 at 05:37 AM
  #2
I feel sorry and sad for you,
Don't panic, and especially Don't feed your brain and your immune system with negative thoughts, our immune system can be influenced by our psychological state, if so ur recovery time would be delayed for long time,
I know it is not easy, who has hand in cool water not like the one whom hands on fire but gotta tell u that illness like yours takes longer time, more than 15 days,...
u ask yourself constantly why it is taking long time...
You doubted meds u are taking, doctors...little by little you surrendered, started feeling desperate.... ending depressed.
One month isn't that long period, we aren't talking bout years!!!
3 months still considered normal,
I'm suffering from problem in my inner ear which causing to me enormous troubles of unbalance and dizziness attacks each one lasts from 12 to 18 hours locked in my bed, severe vomiting for three months
Usual activities, my daily life my work my social life all these aren't any longer the same they used to be!
But didn't fall under the grip of depression,
I'm changing my medical treatments every one month, dealing with my sickness as a heavy leaving guest, that can leave in one day and night!
Am forgetting its presence...
Suggest for you to do the same, trust your immune system, meanwhile you read my letter it is fighting to defeat the infection, it is fighting for you, for your well being, don't disappoint it.
Take meds, rest well, think about what u gonna do when you get recovered.
Depression isn't helping, it only drags u down.
I know u will get recovered soon,
Hope Reading a post from you ASAP.
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Default Jun 03, 2022 at 05:53 AM
  #3
How can we help?
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Default Jun 03, 2022 at 07:23 AM
  #4
I think i need a specialist - a gastroenterologist. They said I can't see one till Nov. I'm afraid.

I think of going to a different hospital. I don't need to go to ER right now. I'm not sick enough. But I will be in a few days. I don't want to wait for that. I don't know what to do.
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Default Jun 03, 2022 at 07:44 AM
  #5
Youve said you cant eat "normally". Boy i hear that. I never thought i'd be eating beans, rice, lentils, potatoes, and veg morning noon and night. What i read of diverticulosis diet is confusing. It says low fiber until its cleared up, then high fiber? That low fiber part scares me. Why would i want stuff thats gonna just sit there?

The most beans i ate growing up were an occasional can of pork and beans, and "pasta fazool" once a week. Now i have canned nonfat refried beans in a carb smart tortilla at least every other day. Hardly ever any meat. I would love to hear what youre eating. Im weird that way!
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Default Jun 03, 2022 at 08:05 AM
  #6
This is a good thread, Rose. We're all learning from it. I also believe that our thoughts can affect our systems. Maybe even our subconscious thoughts (given to us by others.)

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Default Jun 03, 2022 at 03:38 PM
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I am so sorry. Why must you wait till November? There is no way! Are there no doctors???
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Default Jun 03, 2022 at 07:09 PM
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Originally Posted by divine1966 View Post
I am so sorry. Why must you wait till November? There is no way! Are there no doctors???
I think that's wrong. I came to a different hospital to see if they will help me. I hope they will admit me. I did not tell that I was already treated elsewhere. I never did anything like this in my life, but I'm scared.

If I can get admitted, I will fight being discharged until I am more fully treated. That's a slim chance. They very well may not admit me.
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Default Jun 05, 2022 at 10:39 PM
  #9
The other hospital judged that I was recovering and did not need admission on Fri. Seems they were right, since yesterday and today (Sat and Sun) I have felt not too bad . . . physically.

On Fri, I also was very depressed. Today I still feel pretty low. Like yesterday, I got out of the house, which helped. Yesterday I walked around at a festival. Today I drove outside the city into a mountain area. I don't feel I really want to be with anyone. But I fear getting physically sick again and going thru it largely alone.

I'ld adjusted to my boyfriend dying 2 years ago. I was reasonably content on my own. But now, it makes me feel scared that I am basically alone . . . scared that when sickness comes, I have to cope alone.

So, when I get home and settle in on the couch in front of the TV, my thoughts get very disturbing. Now I feel the loss of my guy very keenly. With him gone, I'm not very important to anyone. I feel awful about that. One of my sisters checks on me every day. She's been as good as she can be. I don't like being a source of worry to her. I feel like a charity case. I don't feel I have much to offer her. I doubt she would ever need me for anything. I don't like needing people who don't need me.

This is a bad way to feel. Maybe I'll get over it.
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Default Jun 06, 2022 at 01:54 PM
  #10
@Rose76 - sorry for your loss - I did not know you lost your boyfriend a couple years ago. That must be a heavy weight to carry.

I have been grieving the loss of my dad 6 years ago and it does get better in terms of missing him but the grief is always there and some days I open the door and I am there and he is there, but only in my mind.

I had to totally reinvent why I was living and who I was. My purpose in the back of my mind was linked to my relationship with my dad. He was a friend and someone who understood me. It was not easy saying good bye. But I have had to become a take charge person and I have started to do self care to help me get on stable footing.

Thanks for sharing. Sometimes people care about me and I do not even know or do not find out till years later. My problem was I cared so much about myself, I did not recognize all the people that needed caring around me. It is not easy but change is possible.

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