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Old 07-15-2022, 06:43 PM   #1
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Default I just want a new life

I'm 22, Asian, and taking a second undergraduate degree in data science. I still live with my parents and my grandmother after she recovered from the hospital. My family raised me to be a successful musician, and I took a music production degree. Of course, it did not work out, because musicians work a dime a dozen. Playing music is fun, but I hate the work so much, and I just want something else to do.

Sometimes, it feels unbearable to live with my abusive parents. It does not help that my parents always criticize literally everything we do, and they are always negative about any of my plans for the future. Most of the time, it seems we are at their mercy. My grandma sympathizes with me because she sees all the physical and verbal abuse my parents bring to my brother and I.

I am pretty lost. I thought my teenage years were painful, but ever since I turned 20, I felt this void that never seems to go away. I am unable to move out of this hell because "I have no job and don't want to work hard," according to my parents. I can't possibly keep up with all this stress, that is why I play video games (my parents love to comment about that). I don't even know if what I'm doing now is right.
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Old 07-16-2022, 10:25 AM   #2
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Default Re: I just want a new life

I'd like a new life, but not if I had to start from scratch. I'm not sure I could go threw all that **** again

I mean, I was abused by my parents and if a new life included a new upbringing with a new family, who loved me and cared for me, it mightb e easier

I'm around the same age (mid 20's). for me, it's not that Idon't have a job, I can't work- I always wanted to be a theme park engineer (I love reading about theme parks and watching videos of them), but I'm too ill with all the conditions I have

so what do I do now?.

sit in front of cartoons, read about theme parks and eat junkfood

not much of a roll model
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Old 07-16-2022, 01:41 PM   #3
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Hello hayatulfa: I noticed this is your first post here on MSF. Welcome to the forums. I hope you find being here to be of benefit.

I don't know as there is much of anything I can suggest with regard to your post. I'm what people like to refer to as a "senior citizen" now. But I remember what it was like living with my parents, when I was your age. At the time I was in college. However, as soon as I could manage it, I moved out and into a dormitory at the college. And what a relief it was!

From my perspective, I think you, perhaps, need to develop a plan of some sort to get yourself out and away from your parents' home. It's high time you were on your own (IMHO). Perhaps it may take a while to reach your goal. But at least if you have one, and you're working toward achieving it, perhaps that will help you to cope with what you're enduring now. Playing video games isn't going to accomplish anything toward getting you where you want to be though. So you have to be careful about spending too much time on them. I've never played them myself. But I have the feeling they can become addictive.

And, if all of this seems just too much for you to tackle, then perhaps seeing a counselor or mental health therapist would be a good idea? Based on what you wrote, it does sound as though you may be struggling with some situational depression and anxiety neither of which are going to be helpful either. At least these are my thoughts with regard to your post. Best wishes...
"I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last)
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Old 07-17-2022, 05:26 AM   #4
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Default Re: I just want a new life

Welcome to MSF
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