[will19]

Yesterday I was busy throughout the whole day. I was feeling alright when I first started cleaning but then my mood sunk. Plus it was a hot and humid day for doing it. Later in the morning my sister called but just left a message. That sunk me down further. I though I had made it clear to her that I don't want to do the phone calls anymore. It's because she's too upsetting and we've been arguing a lot. I didn't call back and I feel guilty about it. It's hard for me to make the call especially when I had already told her I don't want to do the phone calls.

I'm anxious about my trip coming up in a couple of weeks. I'm taking this trip so that I can scout out the place to see if I want to move there. I feel depressed that I have to move out where I am now. For me I think that Buffy's therapist nailed it about "living in the past and worrying about the future". Oh, that's me right now!

[Breaking Dawn]

Mostly downs, but an up now & then.

[Rose60]

Yesterday was good. We had a family gathering. Enjoyed. For now I'm making myself ready for a good walk outside to get a doze of fresh air. Feel tired, but will not give into the tirednes. My day lays there ready for me to use and as I read in the depression-work book: It is my responsibility to use my skills to fight the depression (as far as my energy is on my side).

[Rose60]

Here I am again. I felt so tired after my morning walk that I had to rest for a long time afterward. I don't like it, but if it so it is, that the energy is too low, I have to accept it. I will probably use Netflix and/or Internet games most of this day, while I try to at least do the most necessary like cooking and more.

[Rose76]

I've been doing very well, physically and mentally.

[Rose60]

Today I had the company of good friends at my morning walk. We went longer then I usually go, so now I am very, very tired and full of pain in my body. I only want to sleep , but to sleep too much during day time will probably give me a troublesome night with little sleep, so I will stay up until bedtime.

I have come to the conclusion that the best I can do for my health tomorrow, will be to stay at home and make a slow, slow mix of taking care of myself and my home.


My depression is not bothering me today. I will try to continue to set away time tomorrow to work with the self help book: "The Cognitive Workbook for Depression: A step-by-Step Program" by Knaus and Ellis.


So far I have been eager to work with it. I have faith in that I will be able to do this.

[Deilla]

I'm okay today. I could be better. I'll take it.

[downandlonely]

Today has been good. The intensive outpatient program is helping.

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by MimiBhaduri0

I am not well. I hope...I wish I see better days soon, very soon....I cant go on like this any more.

:sadhug: :grouphug: I understand how you are feeling.

[Buffy01]

I feel so awful today. Regardless of what I did to try to feel just a little bit better today.

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by 3rd rock

I'm making good progress on rewrites of my novel. I rewrote the first chapter, in the hopes that this will 'hook' an editor and/or agent better. They always request you send in a sample, usually of the first ten pages or the first chapter, so it's important to have a good first chapter.

Sounds like a great idea to do. I hope everything works out for you.

[Rose60]

Originally Posted by Rose76

I've been doing very well, physically and mentally.

What a surprise that there already was another Rose in the forums when I became a member here.

I picked that nickname because I thought that is how we, all, are supposed to be: Roses in full bloom when we have had relief from our depressions.

It is also surprising that we have chosen almost similar avatars. I picked mine because the Peace-dove symbolises my character. I like peace in the groups where I participate and hope for peace in the world ... (even if that may seem a bit difficult now when thinking about the situation in Europe and all the hunger in the world as a consequence of the war, the lack of enough corn).

I am sure there are lots of roses in different colors in the world, so the members here will probably have no difficulties in knowing who is you and who is me.

I am glad to hear that you are doing well!

Hugs and best wishes from one rose to another!

[Rose60]

I feel that I am loosing the grip on my day. I caught myself in a lot of negative thinking, but was able to tell myself to STOP and make some food.

The reason I am using a CBT workbook, is because I believe in the ideology behind that kind of treatment. I felt like a failure and was sad, but then I understood that recognizing my depressive thinking was a sign of good observation.

I lost a part of the day, so far, but I have learned something new about observation. I am going to reward myself with a good movie or something. To be under the dominion of depression is hard, but not hopeless. I feel a bit anxious about this, but will continue to fight, fail and fall, rise up and continue.

[will19]

It seems like I've been hopping and busy lately in the past week or so. That's great because the busier I am the less I think about gloom and doom for myself.

Today I stumbled across an article online that gave me a little shot of hope. What I came across was that I could get into a program for financial help so that I can stay at where I am for a while. I don't know if it can happen. I'm planning on a trip in two and a half weeks from now and, in all honesty, I'm not looking forward to it. The reason for the trip is so I can scout out a new location to live. I dread the whole process of having to move.

I prefer to stay where I am, but many times I don't know why. It's nice where I am but there are some improvements that need to be made and I don't know if it will ever change. But moving to a new place is the unknown for me. Especially at a place where I don't anyone and I'd be there alone. And it would be a completely different kind of place than where I am now.

[Breaking Dawn]

@will19, what you describe is pretty easy to understand. Maybe the program will let you in. Hope so.

[Breaking Dawn]

This day began with a lot of gratitude & hope. But I guess it wasn't in the cards. Maybe tomorrow. I need to build up my strength.

[Rose76]

Originally Posted by Rose60

What a surprise that there already was another Rose in the forums when I became a member here.

I picked that nickname because I thought that is how we, all, are supposed to be: Roses in full bloom when we have had relief from our depressions.

It is also surprising that we have chosen almost similar avatars. I picked mine because the Peace-dove symbolises my character. I like peace in the groups where I participate and hope for peace in the world ... (even if that may seem a bit difficult now when thinking about the situation in Europe and all the hunger in the world as a consequence of the war, the lack of enough corn).

I am sure there are lots of roses in different colors in the world, so the members here will probably have no difficulties in knowing who is you and who is me.

I am glad to hear that you are doing well!

Hugs and best wishes from one rose to another!

Hi Rose. Yes, it's quite a coincidence that we both picked similar avatars that don't match our screen names. "Great minds think alike." I do believe we share some philosophy. I'm just back from being absent here, so I don't know how all are doing yet. I hope you're ok at the moment.

I just saw your recent post. Sorry you're struggling. Low blood sugar always makes me feel bad, so I definitely endorse stopping and eating. Good move!

[Rose76]

Originally Posted by downandlonely

Today has been good. The intensive outpatient program is helping.

I did a "Partial Hospitalization Program," which I think would be somewhat similar. It was the most worthwhile treatment I ever received. I hope you continue finding it useful and helpful.

[Rose60]

Originally Posted by Rose76

I just saw your recent post. Sorry you're struggling. Low blood sugar always makes me feel bad, so I definitely endorse stopping and eating. Good move!

I have in former days been treated for depression, with no specification of what kind (mild, moderate, stronger or whatever). Talking therapy.

This time I cannot afford to pay for a therapist. I bought a self-help book: "The Cognitive Behavioral Workbook for Depression" from Amazon. At first I felt sure that this could be the help I needed and felt some sort of relief.

Now I feel like I am trapped in hopelessness! I know that I have to focus my thoughts on something different according to what I have learned from CBT and so I will, but I find it a bit difficult for the moment.

I have to add (some time after I wrote the former today). I have no idea how to get out of this, either economically or emotionally. I ended up with ordering an appointment with a therapist. May be the most important is to get somebody to talk to. It doesn't have to be so many hours.

[Rose60]

I feel a bit better this morning. It is a relief to know that I will have a CBT-therapist to discuss my situation with. I have to wait for around three weeks. In the meantime, I have my CBT-tools from the depression behavior work book and my hope about finding solutions that probably will make my life better in general.