Uncaring and unsupportive family

I have realized how sadistic, cruel, and uncaring people in my own family (and others as well) are towards me. I have been insulted and called names by them which hurt me a lot, they have deliberately excluded me from things which also hurt me, and they have left me in the same terrible position for years which has only made my situation worse. I understand now that none of these people ever cared about me. They are selfish, narcissistic people who only care about themselves. I regret all the time I spent around them and wish I did something else instead. I have wasted my life spending time with people who showed no concern for my deteriorating situation at all. None of them ever bother to try and help me. They just leave me isolated and alone. They never cared about how much any of this was hurting me. They don't care that I am in a living nightmare every day. They don't care that I am in a constant state of fear, anxiety, and terror. They just simply don't care about anything other than themselves. They have always shown a cold and heartless attitude towards me. That's why I don't consider any of them my family anymore and if someone asked me I would just say that I don't have a family. There is no reason for anyone to treat their own family this way. My heart is broken as a result of what these people have done to me.

I have also dealt with multiple other mental and physical health issues over the years and not a single person in my family showed even a shred of concern for what I was going through. Time and time again I was just given a cold and uncaring attitude. I always wanted to be part of a family where I felt cared for and loved but I guess that will always just remain a dream. I don't think I have ever felt loved in my life by anyone in this family, except for my mother but I have doubts about that as well. The people in my life whether family or not have left me alone for years and did nothing but sit back and watch as I became even more isolated and alienated from others. There was never any real attempt to help me or even just provide support. I am honestly not shocked by the attitudes of my family because they are the type of people that this country and society wants to create and those in charge have done a great job at making people act in these ways. People like me don't have a place in this world. I feel out of place and uncomfortable wherever I go because I see a lot of issues with this society that nobody wants to even address and it frustrates me. Things could be improved and made better but no one cares about anything I say. If there's one thing I've learned from everyone around me and the town I live in it's that nothing I say matters and nothing I do matters. Great lesson to learn right? Nobody wants to include me because I am different and I refuse to do things in the same way as everyone else. Even though I wanted to help others and make a difference it doesn't matter. People are so selfish and narcissistic that there's nothing I can do.

I know other people have their own issues and stresses but I don't see that as a good reason to turn your back on your own family. The pain that I feel from all of this happening will remain with me for the rest of my life. I feel very sad about things that happened in the past and I wish things could have played out differently. I have also been through a few traumatic events in the last few years but no one cares about how close I came to being harmed either. I got stabbed in my arm. almost got run over by a car in a crosswalk, and almost had a large tree limb fall on me. But no one cares. Life is cheap, if not worthless and this is supposed to be one of the better states to live in. I'll tell you right now it's not, and if you don't go along with the agenda of those in power you are going to be excluded and alienated from society just like I have. This is what they do to those who don't go along with what they want and it's wrong.

So sorry that you are going though this @Forest33.

Sometimes, if not more often than not, our families can be our biggest sources of pain.

You need to not only get angry about it, but grieve the loss... however, it sounds like you've done a lot of that already.

How about trying to focus on caring for yourself first and doing a needs assessment? Once you identify your needs you can start finding ways to get them met in a healthy way.

With time, you can create your own family of friends... you need to find your niche.

Coming on this forum is a good first step.

Sending you good vibes...

There's also a book called TOXIC PARENTS by Susan Forward that you could try getting at your library or secondhand on abebooks.com.

It's about how to get over a toxic legacy/past and reclaim your life...

Thanks for your response, I didn't even know I had any replies to this thread. To be honest, after all I've been through and all the pain I'm still experiencing I have given up on finding a new family or even friends. I feel like I don't have any needs or am not allowed to have any for lack of a better term. Everything I believe in has been destroyed, all my dreams have been destroyed, all my relationships with others have been ruined, and every day gets worse for me. I don't have much hope at all because nearly everyone has treated me the same more or less.

I feel like I have never been allowed to live my life or even be a human being. I am expected to be a soulless, emotionless, robotic, mindless being and I just can't do that. I have tried to be open with others but all I get met with is a cold, heartless attitude. I am done trying to help others or even interact with them since it's obvious no one wants me to be around or thinks there's something wrong with me. I am tired of dealing with ignorant and arrogant people who are not even willing to listen to anything you have to say. A lot of people already have their minds made up and I don't feel like wasting my time anymore.

I have tried to be as kind and nice of a person as possible and it got me absolutely nowhere. Instead, people have tried to take advantage of and exploit my good nature and I don't have any patience left. Every day gets worse for me but it doesn't matter because no one cares and no one is going to help me. That's all this place has taught me in addition to nothing I say or do ever matters. Great lessons to learn right? That's how nice people are around here. And if you try to point out that this fast-paced life is a stupid and idiotic way to live they stare at you like you have two heads. Like there are no other ways of living in which people would be happier. I just don't even know what to say anymore. All that's left to say is I'm done and I'm going back to sleeping because that's better than dealing with this twisted and dark reality.

I am so sorry you are hurting so much @Forest33. I would want to sleep, too... in fact, I do but for my own reasons... it's a form of escapism for me. Life can seem so utterly unbearable at times that I just have to get away.

I wish I could say something that would make you feel better, but I am afraid that it might come off as a platitude.

I truly hope today was a better day for you... keep coming back. There is also the emotional support chatroom which is apart from the coffeehouse chatroom. Also, I believe it's this Thursday the 13th around 6:30 or 7 New York time* there will be a moderated chat for depression and anxiety. I hope you join in, even if you don't chat, just come and hang out with us. (*it's in the calendar on the left-side of the homepage.)

(((((((((((( Hugs )))))))))))

A lot of what you say resonates with me @Forest33. I have never felt like anyone in my family of origin understands me. Also, some people just don't want to learn about mental illness, and there's no way to force them too. I have also seen a lot of uncaring people in my life. I am a very empathetic person, so I find it painful to see others in pain because of callous attitudes. I do volunteer to help a bit, but I am trying to learn that I can't save the whole world.