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Member
Member Since Jul 2019
Location: Michigan
Posts: 95
4 8 hugs
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Feb 19, 2023 at 09:48 PM
#1
I am tired. Tired of fighting every second of my life. Tired of looking for answers that I will never find. Tired of trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with me and getting nowhere. Tired of feeling insecure, inferior, ashamed, guilty, disgusting, and worthless. Tired of living when I already died a long time ago. Tired of the the constant pain, sadness, worry, fear, stress, sadness, misfortune, loneliness, and hurt. Tired of being invisible, ignored, shunned, and laughed at. Nothing ever works out no matter how hard I work at it or how long. Failure, loss, deterioration. Just done.
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 EndlessDark, mote.of.soul, SlumberKitty
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Grand Member
Member Since Aug 2022
Location: The House
Posts: 989
1 637 hugs
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Feb 20, 2023 at 10:12 AM
#2
darkfeary, I have felt like this. You describe it well. I'm sorry for your pain.
I had a really bad breakdown a few years ago and it has felt like I died then and that I'm just putting in time. But some days are better than others. I take 3 antidepressants, and an antipsychotic and antianxiolytic. I believe my depression (major depression with psychotic features, as well as GAD and OCD) is cyclical, there are times when the clouds break. I also have someone to talk to (a social worker) which helps. Come here and post often, come on chat if you need to connect that way. I hope you find support here virtually, as well as actually in your own life. What treatments have you tried? Do you have someone to talk to? Right now you're in the tunnel and you don't see any light at the end of it. Stay with us. |
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| mote.of.soul
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Mad Walker
Member Since Jan 2018
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 13,094
(SuperPoster!)
6 21.9k hugs
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Feb 21, 2023 at 05:51 PM
#3
Oh, darkfeary, please hold on and keep going utilising all of the coping tools in the toolbox - every day no matter how long it takes. They say it's always darkest before the dawn and I'd like you to hold onto that as a truth: not just as a saying but as truth. Because in the end it's mind over matter (imo) .
__________________ "A flower falls, even though we love it; and a weed grows, even though we do not love it."- Dōgen
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Member
Member Since Jul 2019
Location: Michigan
Posts: 95
4 8 hugs
given |
Mar 11, 2023 at 09:58 PM
#4
Thanks, everyone but I have battling this curse for the past 18 years with numerous endless treatments and medications and nothing helps really.
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My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
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