[Escanor]

I don't know how this works, and if im even in the right place, but my wife insists that I do this. its all confusing to me , as I am not good with technology but apparently this may help.

I have constant thoughts of dying, wishing something would happen

Possible trigger:

and even sometimes on my bike at high speeds just nearly swerving into an on coming truck hoping that at 100kms hitting a truck at 70 kms would be enough to go instantly,

but im too scared not to die.

Possible trigger:

ive been in a coma and spent a year in hospital before after being beaten up

and still am perfectly fine physically not, so i fear not being able to die and rather ending up disabled in some way im too weak to try kill myself, or not brave enough but im slowly building the gall because my life has turned to ****. everyone thinks im a hero but my wife absolutely hates me, my thoughts are constantly negative about myself, im a alcoholic and i want to get it done while my daughter is still young, so that she doesn't have too many memories of me.

ive never been physically abusive but my wife claims me to have been verbally abusive, which I deny. her main issue is that i am not much of a man though, useless. I motivate, educate and support my daughter emotionally and financially as much as i can but i am claimed to be an absent father, although I am over weekends when im hungover.

there is so much more but I dont even know what this is so im just going to pres send and see

[TheGal]

Please don't hurt yourself or anyone else.

You need help.

It sounds like you have a brain injury causing you to become depressed. Alcohol is a depressant and is contributing to your dark thoughts.

Please go see a doctor, asap. Tell them what is going on...

[Nammu]

Give AA a try. You can get lots of support and ideas

[VabGirl]

Many of us know how you feel. We are here for support and understanding.