I'm getting fired. I have no hope

I made a stupid mistake at work and now I am going to lose my job. I have been suspended for the last 6 days and I have not been able to tell my wife. I cannot eat, I cannot sleep, I cannot think straight. I have failed my family again. I can't keep a job for longer than 2 or 3 years. My union rep is fighting for my job but I do not have high hopes. They do not want me there anymore, it's clear from our sitdown meeting today there is no repairing my mistake. They want me gone. I'm a 40 year old man with a 9 year old boy and a 10 year old girl. I don't know how I'm going to pay the bills. I'm at the stage of my career where companies don't want me or I have exhausted a lot of options. How do you get a new job after being fired? How do I explain to my new future employer why I'm looking for work or the fact my last employer is not a reference. I'm just so lost and broken. Lately I have been trying to be positive, to give and not take. Thinking positivity breeds. However failure only follows me. I'm 40 and I am still failing. Now I have a family depending on me, and my failures are compounded. I'm tired of living in "quiet desperation". I want to run away. If I leave, the house would be paid off for my family and they would have almost $200 grand.

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HUGS. I am so very sorry. That is such a tough situation. I don't have answers. But I can listen. I can be your friend. HUGS Kit

Hey Joe_Dirt. Hang in there buddy.🙏I think if you re-post this in the 'Work and Careers' forum on this site, you're more likely to get some good advice and guidance regarding your situation, and in so doing may help to give you some hope and positivity back, lifting your spirits. The forum can be found here, friend: https://mysupportforums.org/work-and-careers/

Stay hopeful please, things can change in spite of how we may see or evaluate things. And good on you for reaching out.🙏

What you're describing is a truly, truly tough, tough position to be in. I'm very sorry for how awful you feel, which is totally understandable.

First of all, you have a big accomplishment that hasn't vanished. You've made a marriage and created a family. Do not think of walking away from that.

Make an appointment to see your doctor or other provider and explain that you are under almost unendurable mental stress, which you clearly are. I'm hoping you can get referred to a psychiatrist or a psychologist who can give you a diagnosis (perhaps more than one.) From your other threads, I see you have a history of psychic distress. Getting a formal diagnosis can make you eligible for some help you won't otherwise get. This is not something to see a therapist about yet. Any diagnosis you get from a therapist will not be as respected as what you get from an MD or a PhD. (That's pretty much how the federal government looks at it, and I agree.) Go online and look up your state's Division of Vocational Rehab. Once you get a diagnosis, you may be eligible to become a client of DVR in your area. I did that and was surprised at how much help they offered me. They offered to pay for therapy for me. They gave me gas vouchers, so I could fuel my car to be able to go job hunting. Check it out. They sometimes pay for training in a related or alternative line of work. They often appoint a counselor who focuses just on helping you construct a plan to get reemployed.

Go register at your local state office that assists the unemployed to find work. They have classes to address exactly the questions you have raised. You are not the first person they've had come in with your exact set of circumstances. Spend time there, take the courses they offer (often just one or a few days,) and let them get to know you. Going to things like that will be much better than being at home running around in circles inside your own head. Assemble all the support that's out there.

Once you register at the state unemployment agency, go to your area's Income Support Division. Fill out an application for food stamps (SNAP - EBT card.) Go online and sign up for unemployment benefits. (Don't assume you'll be denied, just because you got fired.)

Investigate agencies that hire day laborers. You're young enough to be able to do some low skilled labor, if you can find some places that hire for that.

I've been where you're at. It is extremely disheartening. But take it one day at a time. Each morning you need to shower and dress and get out of the house. Explore what I've suggested. Don't get into a rut of sticking in the house, staying in front of your laptop and thinking you're going to work all this out on the Internet with your fingers on the key board and you staring at a screen. That will only fuel relentless anxiety that will drive you crazy. Get out and meet actual people who may prove helpful.

I suspect - like a lot of us here - you've got a history of wrestling with psych issues for a long time. You possibly could have benefited from treatment/counseling a long time before this. Nonetheless, you did put a life together. So you've got capabilities. Build on what you have. If you have relatives who put you down, turn a deaf ear to them. You are NOT a complete failure. You have hit a real tough spot that you're going to have to find a way through. It can be done! Your problem is very serious, but others with even worse problems have turned their lives around. Don't let this challenge intimidate you. That would be you defeating yourself.