[will19]

I feel like I'm in funk now. Today is March 1st and, some time ago, I was planning "in my head" to tell my apartment manager that I want to leave by April and relocate somewhere else. I figured that I would need at least one month's notice ahead of time before I'd leave. Well, it hasn't happened, so it looks like I'm going to be where I am now for a good while. It's not terrible at where I am but I just didn't have anywhere else lined up for where I want to go. I guess I'll probably never will. I feel like I'm living in "the moment of harsh reality".

This morning I went grocery shopping like I always do on Friday mornings. I got some "sticker shock" as the total was much more than I thought it would be. When I got home, I realized that I bought some items I may not need after all and these items are a bit high. Also, I purchased an item twice when I needed one. So I'll return some of the items and get some money back.

I'm not feeling the greatest emotionally now. I'm seeking within me for answers as to what I should do.

[Buffy01]

I’ve been feeling really bad and down lately

[Rose76]

I'm not doing good. I'm starting to hate myself.

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by Rose76

I'm not doing good. I'm starting to hate myself.

Oh, thats not good, huh.

Wednesday i went to bed with the thought that i was going to be really nice to myself, treat myself really lovingly. Because who ever has? I was going to take a shower so i could turn in my rent and my lease renewal. I only got that done today instead, but thats okay.

There is a daily planner guy who asks, whats the next right thing for you to do? I think im gonna ask, whats the next most loving thing to do for myself. Like maybe spray on some perfume before i do a chore, or just put on some cuticle cream.

[hiddenaway]

I really hope the weekend goes quickly. I need more Drew.

[Rose76]

I feel a little better. Finally, they fixed my heat problem by installing a new thermostat. So, now, having a cold apartment won't be my excuse to stay late in bed.

[hiddenaway]

Still waiting for the weekend to end. Pluto only helps so much.

[nonightowl]

Originally Posted by will19

snip:

Early this morning around 4:30 AM I got mad when I woke up and it sounded like someone in the next unit was taking a shower; and the noise of running water through the pipe(s) was loud, which woke me up. That happens at times. I can't fault the person taking a shower, but it made a lot of noise for me. I got so mad that it made me want to leave my place. I've been feeling that way for a while, but more so now.

Meow! This won’t come as a surprise to you, but I could’ve written this. I get cigarette smoke from people like you do and also plumbing noise. This apartment building seems to have walls made out of cardboard. I have the same problem hearing my upstairs neighbor taking a shower in the middle of the night. The guy above me is a night owl and has this weird habit of turning on the water full blast for about three seconds. It’s so LOUD! Then turning it off for about 30 seconds. He repeats this pattern 3 to 4 times before he finally runs the shower normally. It’s annoying. It sometimes wakes me up and it will last about 15 minutes. This is the only routine this guy has. Everything else is random times, leaving and coming home at different times. And he has overnight guests a lot too. Plus, he’s very heavy footed, so I hear every step. I don’t think he has any rugs so I hear everything. He also slams the sliding doors open and closed.

This makes me hate where I live, too. But unless I can live in a soundproof building, which I could never afford, I’m always going to hear somebody’s crap. I don’t know where I can go either. I’m very sound sensitive and have good hearing which is a curse in this building. It seems to be made to amplify sound. And they started putting in laminate flooring instead of carpet, even if someone is below them. Efff, the landlord doesn’t have to live with it.

The guy next to me sleeps late, and I hear him snoring. His bedroom is next to my kitchen, but since I’m an early bird, I’m considerate enough not to run the dishwasher, garbage disposal, or bang pots and pans around that might wake him up. I wait until about 9 at the earliest. Sadly, most people don’t seem to give a crap about others.

They also raised the rent again after not doing so because of Covid. That says a lot about our system that millions of people had to die to temporarily halt rent increases.

I remember this is where you mostly post so I might follow this thread just to see how you’re doing, day-to-day.

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Posted directly on site using iPhone

[hiddenaway]

It's Sunday which means I made it cause tomorrow is Monday.

[Mountaindewed]

I feel like my seasonal depression doesn't exist anymore because of this warm weather we have been having. I've brought out my light box once this season. Not that I haven't been depressed about other stuff though but it seems to be me just not trying hard enough kind of stuff.

[will19]

Not much of a day today. Early this morning I went out on a minor errand and I guess that's the highlight of my day. I didn't go bike riding because it rained. My friend and I spoke to each other over the phone and we had some debates. I don't like arguing that much but I did find some points interesting in our debating.

[Buffy01]

my emotions have going up and down all day

[Rose76]

A lot of sadness today. I'm not doing good at all. I feel unwanted.

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by Rose76

A lot of sadness today. I'm not doing good at all. I feel unwanted.

Unwanted - unentangled - free to choose your own destiny. Im sorry, i know i keep harping on this. But do you really want to be the reason for another person's - idk mood? - at this stage of your life? Would you want to trade places with Queen Camilla? We are FREE.

[nonightowl]

Originally Posted by will19

Not much of a day today. Early this morning I went out on a minor errand and I guess that's the highlight of my day. I didn't go bike riding because it rained. My friend and I spoke to each other over the phone and we had some debates. I don't like arguing that much but I did find some points interesting in our debating.

The highlight of my day Saturday was picking up my library books but if I didn’t need to do that, I’d have stayed in because it was cold and raining. Oh I forgot to say before that even though I wear earplugs to bed, I can still hear neighbor noise like doors slamming and showers running. I can hear the people two floors above me using the shower.

I’m assuming this is the same man you mentioned before that you once let go?

That he always gets under your skin?

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Posted directly on site using iPhone

[Rose76]

Originally Posted by unaluna

Unwanted - unentangled - free to choose your own destiny. Im sorry, i know i keep harping on this. But do you really want to be the reason for another person's - idk mood? - at this stage of your life? Would you want to trade places with Queen Camilla? We are FREE.

It sounds like you're in a good space right now. If so, I'm glad for you.

Right now, I'm not in a good place, mentally. If I sound ridiculous, please just skip past my check-in post.

[will19]

I decided to give my sister a call today. She hasn't called me in quite a while. She told me that things keep coming up. And now she has a painful swollen foot. I guess the reason why she's not calling me that much is probably because she's busy seeing doctors. She's been having so many problems lately.

A so-so kind of day today. Nothing much eventful today.

[Rose76]

Today was much the same as the whole weekend. That is to say - I did nothing.

I have an appointment in a week to see a therapist, at some clinic I never heard of before that was on a list that was given to me. In the meantime, I can go to the hospital psych urgent care, which is a horrible place. I've been avoiding that. In fairness to the place, I do recognize that they are overwhelmed. They get patients brought in by the cops, who have nowhere else to go. They take people with no insurance because it's a state owned facility. It seems I just look too high functioning to be worthy of their attention.

[3rd rock]

I have not yet received a phone call from the psychiatrist's office I've been referred to. I was hoping to get it by the end of last week, in order to expedite my referral to detox/treatment. I managed not to drink tonight, but I'll likely drink tomorrow night. I am within 200 words of completing a chapter for my novel, so that's good.

[hiddenaway]

Drew looked so good today it's unreal.