[nonightowl]

Originally Posted by will19

snip:

I always want to get going on the cleaning by 9.

I don't like having my routine disrupted either. It's the only thing that keeps me grounded or that I have any control over. An acquaintance who has a routine of calling me weekly had to change the time for that day. We agreed on 2pm or so I thought. She called me at 3 which is late for me; I'm not an afternoon person.

She said sorry and she thought it was 3. I went ahead and talked because if it wasn't for her, nobody would be calling me or talking to me at all. She was originally calling me as a volunteer during Covid lockdowns. And she wanted to continue to call, but I just get a half hour of her time one day a week.

It's kind of like wanting the whole slice of bread but I'm only going to get one bite. Drastic analogy but that's how it feels. I'm ambivalent about the calls, since it's been almost 4 years of talking yet I don't know her. It's so one sided but is it better than nothing? Sometimes I don't know.

[will19]

Quote from Nonightowl ---> "It's so one sided but is it better than nothing? Sometimes I don't know".

It's a good point because I feel that way a lot about my friend. I think it's better than nothing, because having no one is really bad especially when things go wrong. But there are a lot of times when I feel frustrated that it's so one-sided. We disagree on issues a lot - personal and current events. It feels OK for me to just have a "cool down time". I wish it wouldn't come down to that, but after a while I miss having the contact.

If someone could just come along and wave a magic wand at me to create a great friend, that would be wonderful, even if we disagree at times. I used to have some great friends like that but they are long gone. Also there have been possibilities of making a new friend and then it didn't turn out well.

Best to you.

[Buffy01]

I’ve been feeling really horrible

[Cocosurviving]

My day was kick-*** awesome. I attended a community day and healthy kids day with my grandson. My son attended a birthday party.

Afterward we attended a local Earth Day celebration. We enjoyed live bands, and vendors. It wasn’t too crowded at the time we went. Kids were playing with hula hoops , coloring with chalk and playing with bubbles. I also ran into a fellow comrade.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[will19]

A gloomy day today. Felt depressed but I don't really know why.

Just last week, there was a little lot for parking in the back at where I live that finally opened after six and a half months. But now they've closed it again and I don't know why. And then they put in a port-a-potty in the lot just now. The last time that happened, some homeless people camped out and broke in to this place. I hope it doesn't happen again. The street parking was a problem while that little lot was closed, but it eased when it opened. Now we're right back into that crap again.

[Rose76]

I'm having a good day and feel in a chippery mood. Did a bit of yard work. That helps my mood a lot.

[nonightowl]

Originally Posted by will19

snip:

I used to have some great friends like that but they are long gone. Also there have been possibilities of making a new friend and then it didn't turn out well.

Same here. I still have just one real life quality friend, and if I had just ONE more it would make a big difference!

Originally Posted by will19

snip:
But now they've closed it again and I don't know why. And then they put in a port-a-potty in the lot just now. The last time that happened, some homeless people camped out and broke in to this place. I hope it doesn't happen again. The street parking was a problem while that little lot was closed, but it eased when it opened. Now we're right back into that crap again.

They are doing roadwork around here, and there's temporary no parking signs 9-4 weekdays. And parking is ATROCIOUS here, so I'm glad I don't have to park on the street.

And a gas station near me closed in January, as they are going to develop the very busy corner at a major intersection, and yet build another high-rise luxury apartment building. There's just the cashier's booth left, all of the pumps are long gone. But now it's covered with graffiti again (it was cleaned off once already) and there's a couple of tents there now. The buildings next to it were torn down years ago, back in 2019 or 2020, and they haven't even started doing anything. It's a real eye sore.

When they finally start, that intersection will be unbearable. I'll have to avoid it, whether on foot or driving, even if I have to go out of my way.

Ironic people are camping out on a site proposed for more (expensive) "housing".

[Rose76]

Yesterday and today I felt lousy. Just apathetic. Not even dressed. I'm not doing myself any good.

[3rd rock]

I just learned it's going to be like five more weeks before I can get into detox. When I first got in contact with detox and got on their list, nobody told me I had to be approved to enter a treatment program before I could enter detox. And now I just wonder why. I had thought I was no more than a week away. I feel so hopeless. I am in such a dark place. I need help and it's just taking so long to get it. What's even the point if I'm just going to be on an endless wait list??

[will19]

Quite a day for me. I got up early to do the laundry. That went alright. After that I went shopping and then on the way home my car was acting funny. So I had it repaired and it was pretty expensive. I didn't expect something to go wrong with my car since there was no warning. And then I got notice that my rent will increase monthly in June. So this afternoon I feel like I'm being smoked financially. My income isn't increasing, that's for sure!

[nonightowl]

Originally Posted by will19

snip: I didn't expect something to go wrong with my car since there was no warning. And then I got notice that my rent will increase monthly in June. So this afternoon I feel like I'm being smoked financially. My income isn't increasing, that's for sure!

Me too. And I've also had unexpected car problems, like when I needed new tires. I hardly drive but they get "dry rot" from age (over 10 years old). They are so expensive.

I also got a recent rent increase, while losing the ACP discount this month as Congress isn't funding it again. I'm feeling like I'm living in the kind of dystopia I've read in science fiction books or seen in movies.

[Rose76]

Yesterday was a good day. I worked outside on rose bushes. It made my back sore, pulling weeds. I slept too late this morning. I have to start setting an alarm.

[nonightowl]

Originally Posted by Rose76

snip: I worked outside on rose bushes.

Your member name always brings roses to mind, my favorite flower. I'd grow them but they need full sun all day, which I don't have.

[will19]

Today I did my cleaning as always on Saturdays. I didn't sleep well because I kept waking up and had some weird dreams. I was awake around 5 this morning and had a hard time getting back to sleep. I guess someone in the next apartment unit from me was taking a shower at that time. The sound of running water on the pipes were loud, but I couldn't sleep at that time anyways. It didn't last long, but when it turned off I could the water running probably from a distant unit. It wasn't loud but it kept going for an hour and a half. I was worried that something was wrong. But it was a relief that it finally shut off, though I felt on edge early this morning.

It's been a weird week. All kinds of disappointments and little set backs happened. I hope next week will be better.

[nonightowl]

Originally Posted by will19

snip: I guess someone in the next apartment unit from me was taking a shower at that time. The sound of running water on the pipes were loud, but I couldn't sleep at that time anyways.

Glad I follow your thread, as it seems we have such similar experiences with neighbors, "friends", etc.

My upstairs neighbor takes his shower in the middle of the night. But last night he took TWO showers. I know I posted this before, but he has this annoying habit of turning the water on and off with such force, several times with about 30 seconds in between. I don't know if he's trying to save water or what. It's odd. It will happen 3-4 times, and I'm waiting for the next blast. I wish he'd just run the shower normally then be DONE. Anyway, once it was quiet I figured I could finally drift off.

Then he blasts the water again. I'm guessing it was about a half hour or hour later, but I make it a point not to look at the clock. It would make me more anxious and upset. Also he didn't go out last night like I hoped. Anyway the first time he used the shower, I couldn't sleep anyway so I was reading. But the second time I was ready, and he took another shower. Like in your building, there's no insulation for the pipes and I really hear the water blasting.

Years ago they repiped the building, so I saw with my own eyes how thin the walls are. They might as well be made out of paper.

One time someone was running the water continuously for HOURS. Drove me nuts. I don't know what someone could be doing.

Today we are having yet another hot water emergency, so the hot water has been off for hours so far. I hope it comes back this evening, as a long shower is my way to unwind from the day.

And I hope next week is better for you.

[will19]

Today was the same as yesterday. I was busy in the morning as I was paying the bills for the month. The afternoon is long and dull. I just got the mail and all I got were flyer ads. I haven't go out anywhere today, so far, but I'll go on a bike ride pretty soon.

I plan to do a little shopping tomorrow morning. Nothing planned going on after shopping.

[Albatross2008]

Both ups and downs. I got in a good workout today.

[will19]

I felt depressed in the morning. I did some light shopping in the early morning. I felt like I had to deal with some rudeness at the store and when I got home a guy told me I can't park in a spot because he was doing some hedge trimming. The street parking is once again not easy as the little lot in back (I had mentioned it before) had closed after it was opened for only a week. I don't know why they opened it up and then closed it.

Last Thursday I had my car worked on by a mobile service because it had broken down when I got home from shopping that day. This morning one of my neighbors came up to me and asked me how much it cost. I didn't want to talk about it. I swear it's just like Mayberry at where I live!

[3rd rock]

I'm really struggling. Recently, I went to the emergency room 4 times in 8 days. I'm frustrated by the seemingly endless waitlists to access the care that I need. I'm not angry or resentful, as I understand more people than ever are suffering from the issues I'm suffering from and are trying to access care, and this is placing an enormous strain on our healthcare system which is struggling to keep up. I just don't know how much more of this I can withstand. I'm trying to get through this, I really am, but I feel like I'm failing.

[Rose76]

I woke up in a real good mood. I wasted a bunch of hours just thinking about stuff. Then I went out to my front patio where I got charged by my neighbor's bad-tempered pitbull. The dog jumped on me. I wasn't hurt but I was badly scared.

A few hours later, I got notified that a close family member was found dead today by the police. I've had a hard time calming down. Didn't hardly eat all day. I'll eat something now. My neck is very sore lately. That happens when I'm online too long.

I wish things could just be normal for awhile. I'm not depressed today.