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RegretsDepression
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Default Jun 05, 2023 at 09:00 AM
  #1
I want to become a gastroenterologist one day and that’s what keeps me living. Because I know one day I will make it. I can do this. Everything’s going to be ok. 3 years ago when I was 15 I got in a relationship and that changed me forever. He was abusive, controlling, manipulating, forceful. He really ruined my life. Before I met him I was doing great, focused on myself, and really was doing amazing. After I met him I stopped everything, stopped taking care of myself, gained lots of weight and stretch marks, stopped brushing my teeth, he was an awful human being who really ruined my life for the worst. In August of 2022 I met my true soulmate but it ended badly because my ex harassed him, threatened to beat him up, accused me of cheating. Did everything in his power to make sure I wasn’t with no one else but him. It’s a long story but I miss Keegan everyday of my life because he was my soulmate. I regret giving that man Angelo the time of day ever. It’s a long long story but let’s not focus on the past no more let’s focus on the future and bettering ourselves for the future. Let’s become a gastroenterologist. It will be the most painful hardest thing I have ever done but I’m going to do it and accomplish it.
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SquarePegGuy
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Default Jun 08, 2023 at 08:45 PM
  #2
Good for you! Go for it!
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TheGal
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Default Jun 08, 2023 at 09:03 PM
  #3
I'm so sorry you were in a terrible relationship that caused you to go downhill and neglect yourself. Depression, as I know, has caused me to neglect myself in the past and I'm doing my best to take better care of myself, as I hope you are.


It's good to have goals, but we also need to make time to heal. You are young and while you certainly could become a gastroenterologist if you have the smarts and determination, it won't get the monkey off your back. You need time and help to heal and learn to manage yourself and your emotions. I remember a PhD in Philosophy telling me that when he got his PhD finally after years of hard work, the monkey came off his back for a day and then was right back on him again the next day. There is no panacea. What I'm trying to say is that fixating on an external goal won't magically erase our inner issues or the trauma we might've experienced. We need to process that and it takes time. Someone described it as peeling layers off an onion : there's always another layer to peel and it's a lifelong process.


Do you have a psychologist to talk to? Someone with whom you can examine how it was that you got involved in such a destructive relationship? Someone who can help you deal with grief, anger, shame, guilt, sadness and depression?

Make it a priority to find one, if you don't already have one...

Best wishes to you on your journey.
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