[jaklevco]

The first thing you hear from someone who wants to support you when you fall often is, "It didn't work out, but I know you did your best."
Why should hearing this help?

I have written some posts about my concerns about a month ago. Here, there was just one person who decided to write to me. On an other forum, out of the thousands of people who read it, only one has responded (and those were empty words). So I am still wondering...

Every aspect of my life, or better said, everything what I care about in my life is falling apart. And every time, all I hear is, "You did your best." Well, yes, of course I did my best (maybe even more). But that's even more depressing. Knowing that I'm doing all what I can and it is still not enough to achieve my goals no matter how big they are.
Don't I deserve to study what I like and I am good at successfully? Don't I deserve to have supporting family? Don't I deserve to pursue my passions? To have at least one normal/fulfilling relationship of any kind? Don't I just deserve to be happy?

[TheGal]

It seems like you are angry and maybe expressing it here is a very good thing rather than internalizing it. I've heard depression is internalized anger. What do you think?


Sometimes life can be an uphill battle and unfair, regardless of how hard we try.


I think anger is a good response as it means your ego is intact and you can use that energy to act and solve problems in your life.

I hope you find the support on here that you need to help you along your journey...

[Yaowen]

You certainly do deserve those things!

[TheGal]

I read your other post about your computer breaking down and your big exam, so I wanted to wish you the best and tell you to keep going.

Life can get better.

Hugs, if wanted.

[jaklevco]

Originally Posted by TheGal

It seems like you are angry and maybe expressing it here is a very good thing rather than internalizing it. I've heard depression is internalized anger. What do you think?


Sometimes life can be an uphill battle and unfair, regardless of how hard we try.


I think anger is a good response as it means your ego is intact and you can use that energy to act and solve problems in your life.

I hope you find the support on here that you need to help you along your journey...

TheGal, you have a point when writing that depression is internalized anger. Certainly, that can be one case.
However, I assume that although some things get on my nerves, this is not the cause of my situation. I rather feel hopeless as I don't know what else should I do to achieve what I desire. Because in every aspect of my life, the same thing happens. I prepare, do my best... And it ends in failure. But that's not all. When I think of failure as an oportunity to learn and do so, I does not help at all and leads to another failure and sometimes even greater suffering.

With the exams... fortunately, this is the last one this term, but I had all the materials in my computer (that is not surprising and actually it is inevitable, considering my study field)

[jaklevco]

Originally Posted by Yaowen

You certainly do deserve those things!

Yeah, I definitely think so too... That's why I think doing my best is just not enough. Because no matter what I do, the world is showing me that I can't achieve goals which reflect my personal values. And I don't think it is healthy to change those values as, in the end, it wouldn't be me

[TheGal]

(((jaklevco)))


I am so sorry for your pain.

It is morning here and I just came to the site and saw your post.

You do deserve good things...


I wish there was something I could do to make it all better.

Keep posting so you're not alone...