Medication isn’t working. Am I doomed to being secerly depressed forever?

I was taking Cymbalta & now it’s something I can’t recall. The dosage keeps increasing but nothing changes. I’ve been severly depressed to where I can barely function ar times.

Just getting out of bed & managing to go to the store & go to the doctors or anywhere sometimes is a chore.

Some days are easier than others though. I’d stay home if I didn’t need to get toilet paper today, lol 😆

I have put off doing things like cleaning the house ar times. Is it like that for anyone else too? I feel ashamed of myself & like I’m completely useless. I think other people think that I’m some lazy loser too probably. They have no idea what it’s like to barely be able to function usually. My husband thinks that I’m lazy. I ger so irritated when my friends pressure me to get a job.

I’m more depressed now as finanes are very bad & my husband keeps threatening to leave me & take me iff the joint account for withdrawing any money from the bank. He’s financially abusive. I can’t work. I have physical & mental issues. I tried, believe me. I’ll just her fired or quit in a week again or less.

I’m stuck. No one wants to hire someone like me. Not unless they can’t find anyone better which is rarely the case.

I’ve been abused & bullied by a lot of people my whole life. My family is unsupportive & crazy. My dad is a narc, my sister is a career criminal & a psychopath, my mom is like a self absorbed whiny child with paranoid personality disorder, my husband is financially & emotionally abusive & I don’t really have any close friends to talk to.

I have one friend, but I think she should sick of hearing about my issues. Therapy is a joke. I can’t afcord it & I got dumped a few months ago because I’m obviously a lost cause who wasn’t making progress fast enough after a few months. I give up.

Is there anyone else who feels the same wat that I do too? I know that I should eat better & excercise, but trust me, that’s not enough to help me get better.

I think that not having constant stress in my life & getting love, care & support from friends & family would help me more than medication or therapy ever could.

Obviously I don’t have that support system. I’ll definitely loose friends again & annoy people with my ‘needy’ behaviour if I rely on any of them for support to often.

This sucks I feel so alone & like nothing will ever get better for me. My family didn’t even wish me a happy birthday this year. That’s OK as I hate them. I never had a real family or real love in my life.

I think you hit the nail on the head.


Is there way you could get support from a woman's group or shelter?

They could offer support, as well as some guidance about what to do about your situation including finances, or point you in the right direction such as a not-for-profit credit counselling service.

Hope things improve for you...

I, too, am going through rough times and it's not easy.

Hang in there...

Really sorry you’re going through this. It sounds like your med isn’t working for you, maybe go back to your Dr and talk about this. As for your therapist dumping you, what happened there? Do you want to tell us more about that?

You mentioned being needy with friends, I struggle also with feeling that way, someone (a friend) told me I wasn’t needy but rather I had needs. It might be this way with you too. It almost certainly has its roots in your upbringing, it sounds like your emotional needs weren’t met growing up.

Thanks. Idk. I’ll look into it. I tried low cost therapy & was dumped as I’m a lost cause. Idk if I can go theoughr that again. It’s stressful to be expected to make progress quickly in a few months.

Thanks. I did tell my psychiatrist about things & she keeps raising the dosage

I was seeing a student therapist who only charged me $5 a week. I used different ones for two years. I could only use them for 6 months at a time then switch to a new one. The last one claimed that I wasn’t making progress. She worked with me for a few months.

As for friends, most of them don’t really want to hear about my problems to often. I can tell. The subject gets changed fast. Only one friend listens. She has similar issues & is an empath too.

I can’t keep telling her negative things though or she’ll probably start get to annoyed with me. I’ve been told that I’m to ‘negative’ in the past & that a few people felt like I treated them as a therapist. Ironically I listened to them too but I never accused them of that.

My emotional needs weren’t met growing up. My das is a narcissist & my mom is a critical paranoid nag. My sister is a stuck up phony and a psychopath.

She looked down on me most of my life for not being cool & popular like her. I was bullied in school from 11-16.

I didn’t have any close friends. I was bullied as an adult at work & by other people too.

I got very little support from most people growing up. I got most of my support online. My husband is definitely not supportive. I recently met two cool women who have similar issues, but I don’t think that I should be a drag to often or I’ll loose them.

Yes I think it’s wise to be careful about how often we unload to friends, and keep good boundaries. Support imo isn’t always about listening to our issues, sometimes just going out and having a coffee or whatever, in nice surroundings can be supportive in itself.

To say you weren’t making progress in a few months is a little confusing to me. You’re describing life long issues, I wouldn’t think it realistic to see progress within a few months. What sort of progress was she expecting?

That’s true. I had a weird feeling that my student therapist was frustrated by me & that she didn’t like me, so maybe what she said was an excuse. She even admitted to having limited experience.

She felt like she couldn’t help me. You’re right, it was unrealistic to expect significant progress in a few months time.

So sorry things didn't work out with your 'therapist'... sounds like she was really inexperienced and it's sad that she's turned you off looking for other help.

I've been on the end of poor therapeutic care and it does leave a bad taste in your mouth. I can commiserate.

A friend told me, 20% of therapists are excellent, 60% ok, and 20% not good at all. Keep looking and keep trying to find someone who clicks with you and can genuinely help, not judge.

There are online support groups you can connect to here:

HeyPeers - Where Peers and Support Groups Connect

and

DBSA - Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance

Also, I don't know whether you would consider yourself 'codependent' but there is CoDA Codependents Anonymous and there are online meetings, as well.

Seems like you’ve been stuck in this pattern for a long time. Maybe it’s time to look for a different therapy routine. Check into long term DBT groups. It takes about a 2 yrs commitment to see changes. Or you could stick to changing student therapists and no progress.

Jesyka, you need to know what you are taking, what you took in the past, in what dosages, and how you felt and what side effects you experienced. I suggest you track in a Google Sheet. Google Sheets are free. You can learn to use them with online tutorials and free YouTube videos which you can pause and rewind as many times as you need, learning at your own pace. You can later transfer what you learn to pick up Excel skills as the two programs are very similar. You wrote that you often run into situations when you lack Excel skills to qualify for a job.

You post a lot, write a lot with expansive vocabulary, and obviously like computers and online world. I think you underestimate your ability to learn computer skills. You can actually be good at it and enjoy the process of skill acquisition. You will kill two birds at once, getting a handle on your meds and reactions to them and ramping up on Google Sheets.

It is clear that an office job, such as a receptionist, would be better for you than a retail job. For to qualify for an office job you need to pick up computer productivity skills.

You need a psychiatrist who’ll track your dosage and monitor side effects and try something else if one medication isn’t working. Without psychiatrist I am not sure what could be done

I think there is a free psychiatrist

There is? You mean will treat without insurance and won’t charge?

that is my understanding. Jesyka has a free psychiatrist. I do not know if it is through the county.

Yes. See Topamax warning

Oh wow. How does one even find free psychiatrist without health insurance: private or state provided. I’ve never heard of them seeing patients for free. I’d like to know in case other people need one

Thanks. Sorry to hear that you’re through a rough time too.

The only places that I can find that offer support that is free to low cost is meetup (online stuff that’s not private as it’s done in a group), temporary one on one therapy sessions. Eight to be exact. I exhausted all 8 visits a long time ago.

This places does have a domestic violence group support which I’ll look into. I’m not being physically abused I am being mentally & I financially abused though.

My last therapist was an inexperienced student therapist. She felt like I wasn’t making progress fast enough in only a few months. I suspected she never liked me that much & was looking for a reason to get rid of me too. She was never as friendly as the ladt few student therapists were.

She was all business with me. As for being needy, I think that almost everyone I know have enough problems to deal with, so they’d rather not deal with someone else’s problems too.

Also, most people I know tend to feal with their own problems. One of my friends doesn’t like to bother other people, so she probably expects other people to keep things to themselves most of the time too.

Most people have that attitude it seems like. Adults are expected to suck it up & not complain to much about anything.

My emotional needs weren’t met growing up. They’re still barely being met most of the time.

It seems like I get dismissed & told that I’m to ‘sensitive’ or something like tyat everytime I try to talk about my problems & how I feel about things.

That student therapist was someone I started talking to last year. I have seen 3 student therapist ls prior to her. Each of them could only treat me for 6 months to a year I think. The forst one got sick & left school.

I suspect she didn’t like me & that she wanted to het rid of me as a client. The worst thing is that I can’t see ANY new therapist as they said they can’t help me. Weird!!!!