venting/wanting advice

hi, i've been suffering with my mental health now for over 2 years. everything has been gradually getting worse for me overtime and it hasn't been stopping. i've been experiencing self harm/bad thoughts/eating problems/purging/can't sleep etc. i feel isolated because i'm constantly staying inside of my house and rarely doing anything but that's all i can handle. recently i enrolled in a college course specific to my needs but only an hour in on the first day i had a breakdown which ended up with me refusing to carry on with the course at all. i practically have no friends but am constantly feeling lonely and wish i had someone my age like me who i could talk to. my mood shifts very quickly, as soon as i wake up i can immediately start having bad thoughts/start breaking down. i don't know what to do, all of the support i have been involved with has done nothing to help me, they all seem to be some form of talking therapy which hasn't been successful, or can even make me feel worse. i mentally feel like i can't bring myself to do anything no matter what,

So sorry you are suffering, abawa... Two years is a long time to be suffering... my heart goes out to you.


I have severe major depression with psychotic features, so I take 3 anti-depressants and an anti-psychotic.

Are you taking any medications for depression/anxiety? Do you have access to a doc (psychiatrist)?

When you say you 'breakdown', what does it mean for you? How do you experience a breakdown?

Hello, abawa!
I’m sorry a lot that you feel so bad and low.

I have anxiety and depression because of some traits of personality disorders. I also isolated myself when I began to experience mental health issues. It was the worst I could do but somehow I needed this time on my own. However it lasted for so long. I should have gone sooner to therapy and a professional for a diagnosis because I was very lost.

TheGal asked you the questions I would like to ask. So, this is only to say hi and tell you that you’re not alone and ask you for not giving it up on you. Through meds, through therapies (there are other therapies different to the one you have already attended or maybe, the timing for a similar therapy or a different therapist could help you better). I didn’t always found helpful all therapies or all therapists. But some others offered to me what I needed it so don’t give it up.

Also, I wanted to tell you that when someone is at the bottom or close to the bottom, in order to follow a therapy in a more effective way, they need a previous period of some kind of stabilisation. I got it through meds and taking a little time of rest. Then, I attended with more energy to work on therapy.

Finally, I’d like to welcome here.

Hi TheGal, thank you for your reply, and i'm sorry that you have also been struggling.
I'm currently on a waiting list for some medication which has been ongoing for a couple months now, also
I feel like a breakdown for me is when i start to experience uncontrollable strong anxiety, feelings of insecurity/uncomfortableness, and non-stopping crying i'd say would be the most main things included. Some of these things do happen outside of my worst moments, but it's just when i do experience them.
Thanks again for your message

Hi AzulOscuro, thanks for your reply.
I'm sorry to hear about your experiences with mental health also, I hope everything's going well for you.
It's nice and of course not nice to hear that i'm not the only one who has/is going through similar struggles, it becomes hard to remember that from time to time.
I'm sure there's a lot of other forms of therapy which does make me hopeful, it's just knowing where to look and criteria's i guess. Plus having tried multiple things in the past and nothing ever seeming to work does start to make me feel unmotivated about trying new things, but i do still want to try beyond that.
Soon i should be given some medication hopefully, and i'm currently sort of in my resting phase, so i'll try your advice when i'm able too and maybe i'll make some progress in the future.
Thank you again for your message and the welcome, it means a lot

You’re very welcome.
So you’ve already tried different things. I had the impression you were at your first steps, just to say, in this black tunnel.
I’m sure you are kind of disappointed. I went through phases like that, too.

I wish you can express here your feelings and doubts and find some support.

How are you doing these days @abawa ?

How's it going these days abawa?