Season change blues . . . I guess.

Thanks. I hope you find some nuggets of wisdom in it. You probably will. But I have to say that the title reminds me of "click-bait." Everyone wants to believe the best about themselves. The author claims to affirm the reader's self-worth. It's a way of boosting sales.

A hospital called me, saying my brother was there in ICU on a ventilator with pneumonia. I hadn't heard from him in years. I went to visit him yesterday. He was off the vent and improving. He was too sedated to interact with me. I went again earlier this evening. He was alert and told me to, "Go away." So I left. I won't go back. Now I'm so fatigued and sleepy. I'm depressed, but I keep trying to believe that this feeling won't last.

I'm sad that you've been struggling. Here's a short post about self-kindness. Seems relevant based on the book's premise. https://imaginativefusion.wixsite.co.../self-kindness

@speckofdust - I read the article. Good things to keep in mind.

Today I got from the bed to the couch. That was my sole accomolishment today.

I feel crummy. My recent bloodwork was great, so the anemia hasn't come back. Physically, I should feel fine. But I don't. I'm afraid this downturn is not going to end. It's really up to me to end it, by getting up and tidying up. I feel too weak. It's all coming from depression.

I need some help. There isn't any. Been there and done that years ago. Meds didn't help. Counseling didn't help. I've been told there was really nothing wrong with me. In a way, I guess there isn't really. It's the way I've been living - too reclusive, cut off from the world around me. If I could just clean up my place, I would feel better.

Cleaning does help me if I feel down. Actually not just having clean house but actual process of cleaning. Put Christmas music on and try to clean up in a dancing kind of movements?

Or put some funny Christmas shows on tv. I have covid. Third time. Timing for it is depressing. Last night I watched Man who came for dinner. I don’t know why I haven’t seen it before. I laughed aloud. It’s absolutely the funniest. I forgot I was sick. Have you seen it?

No, I've not seen it. I'll look for it. I can always use a good laugh. I'm sorry you have COVID. I hope the worst of it will be behind you by Christmas. In October, I got my 6th COVID vaccination. I've not had COVID or even a slight cold in the past 4 years. That would be the upside of living like a recluse. I'm just not around other humans enough to pick up any germs. (Also, I won't touch a shopping cart or an outside doorknob without wearing gloves.)

I know exactly what you mean about cleaning. It actually feels good, once I get some momentum going. The starting, however, is extremely hard, when I'm in a depressed episode. I finally got started today at 2 p.m. I decorated my Christmas tree. Doing that went much faster than I expected. It does look nice. I'm pleased that I got that done.

Last nite I considered sticking the tree back in its storage bag and into my outside storage closet. I was that bummed out. I felt zero interest in decorating. Once I started, I did get into it. Now I must keep going. When my home environment is orderly and things look attractive, I get into a much better state of mind. I better get back to work. Stuff is strewn all over the living room. At least now, my hope is back.

Thanks for the encouragement. I'm easily influenced that way. I pick up a positive vibe when I read an encouraging post. It's like getting a jump for my psychic battery. Time to hear some Christmas songs.

I hope all posters are having a good week.

Just in case this is helpful to someone, for some humor (and this isn't for everyone), I enjoy Serial Mom, Little Shop of Horrors, and anything with Ellen DeGeneres (except "Mr. Wrong" - although funny at times, it's mostly not that good - Joan Cusack is the one redeeming part. Time you can never get back, and you can't unsee it).

Thanks for the recommendations. Humor is important in life.

I'm not doing well. I feel tired. I didn't even send any Christmas cards. I feel bad about that.

There's always next year!

This is the worse Christmas Eve I've ever had. I'm trying to tell myself that I just have to get through this Christmas and, then, take steps to build a better life for myself. That should be possible, but I don't quite believe it is. I need someone to convince me that I can improve. I need a transfusion of hope.

Kimmy' neighbor: "You can't keep running into a brick wall."
Kimmy: "Shows what you know. Sorry, giving up isn't my jam. My jams are grape, Jock, and Space."
Titus: "Hashtag respectmyjourney."
~ Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt

Take it from someone who truly understands what you are saying and feeling. My T just literally talked me off the ledge a couple of nights ago. Life turns on a dime. It CAN get better! Give tomorrow a chance. And the day after tomorrow... I had two wonderful surprises today, and I wouldn't have been able to experience them if I'd made a different choice the other night. Keep going.

I'm glad you're doing better. Thanks for the encouragement. Maybe I'll recover.

You CAN and will, if you choose to. One specific thing that helps me a lot is positive suggestion statements. These are not "affirmations," per se - but I suppose a similar concept. A few of mine, that were written in concert with a trained pro - "You are worthy." "You have value." "You engage in activities that are joyful and creative." Knowing what I know now, I am able to craft my own statements now. I write them out once a day, listen to a recorded version of them a few times a week, and think of them sometimes throughout the course of the day. It helps to train your brain to get on a more positive track. Focusing on gratitude and helping others are also helpful. Best!