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New Member
Member Since Nov 2023
Location: USA
Posts: 6
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Dec 23, 2023 at 03:27 PM
#1
Everyone tells me I should be less hard on myself and practice self-love, but I don't see the point. What's there to love? I'm 27 years old, I'm overweight, I've been unemployed for six months, I still live with my mother, my career in education was a colossal failure, I have no friends, my family doesn't give a crap about me, I'm broke, I could go on. How do I combat all of this?
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 JaneOnceMore, mote.of.soul
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Super Moderator
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Member Since May 2014
Location: Northeast USA New England
Posts: 17,415
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Dec 25, 2023 at 02:06 PM
#2
@theeviloneisyou I am sorry you have such a low opinion of yourself. It must be rough. What I ask myself when I get in one of those spaces is "Who do I sound like?" It is usually a parent or someone I do not get along with.
So there are some things that I can change and some things I cannot. One way to make things better is to see what I can change. For example 1) I do not have a paying job - solution get a volunteer position either in real life or online. Message me if you need suggestions. 2) I still live with my mother, - Solution give more to your mother in expression of all the kindness she has given you since you were a small, helpless infant. "Mom, you do a lot for me and I am so grateful, what can I do to help you?" 3) I Have no friends (in real life) - Solution make friends online. The other option I use is to find the most simple things that I am thankful for I am grateful because: I had 3 meals today Do not live in a war zone Have clean drinking water Have access to a computer and internet I am alive I am fairly healthy Have a roof over my head I received a friends request today on MSF Whatever else I can think of Hope you make some friends here. It is a little slow around the holidays but will pick up. @CANDC __________________ Super Moderator Community Support Team "Things Take Time" |
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| JaneOnceMore, mote.of.soul
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Member Since Jan 2018
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 13,136
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Feb 28, 2024 at 06:32 PM
#3
Maybe the self loathing is more habitual than anything, and is really quite unnecessary. If it's habitual then it's probably ingrained into your psyche (the world plants adverse ideas into the culture in which you develop) but if it's more of a choice to think that way about yourself then it amounts to little more than a self torture session. Let it go, don't bother. Just keep trying to work on your goals, it's no ones business - and cultivate an inner calmness: it makes more sense.
__________________ "A flower falls, even though we love it; and a weed grows, even though we do not love it."- Dōgen
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| JaneOnceMore
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