My mom and sister told me I don't have real problems.

Deilla · Jan 27, 2024 at 08:26 AM

I suffer from depression. That is a huge problem. It's difficult to survive. And yet my family thinks I don't have real problems.

At the moment I am having relationship issues. My girlfriend ghosted me and I don't know why. Everything was great. So I've been crying all day and suffering. I called my mom to talk. And that's when she said hateful things. I listen to her all the time. She told me that my relationship issues were my fault. I got off the phone.

Later I called my sister to talk. I said that Mom doesn't think I have real problems. My sister said, "You don't." Then she *****ed me out about having depression. She said it was my fault and that I wasn't doing anything to fix it. I got off the phone with her.

How can a family be so hateful? They are toxic people. I don't need them. I will never speak to them again. I have removed them both from my phone.

SpaghettiLegs · Jan 27, 2024 at 08:42 AM

That all sounds familiar tbh. I don't know why family can be that way, like what's the real, under the surface psychology with that behaviour? Are they incapable of empathy, are they narcissistic are they self obsessed? I never figured it out and stopped looking to them for help and comfort because it hurts too much when they don't care. I've found journalling or emailing a suicide/depression service helpful when it's too much because turning to family is no longer an option.

I'm really sorry your gf ghosted you. I hope the suffering eases up and you find some relief so that you can heal from the hurt. When you're already depressed you need to be super kind and gentle with yourself.

Violetta75 · Jan 27, 2024 at 08:53 AM

I'm sorry you have a gf that ghosted you. I had a best friend for most of my life, and she did that. I called and told her I was worried after trying several times. I think some people just get busy, or they forgot, it could be anything. Maybe she's not well?

Anyway, family can be the worst. It's my case too. I have been calling my sister but I should know better. She's been the hardest on me in life. Yet she will answer when I'm not well, usually. I find my ex sister in law to be much much more caring and helpful. We don't get the chance to get together, and sometimes it could be months. I hope you have at least one other friend you can talk to.

It's hard when there's no one to help us and we are depressed. Or anxious. It would have been nice if she hadn't done this. And if you've finally realized enough is enough with your mom and whoever else you have in your life, I think it's a very wise decision you made to cut them off. If not forever, at least until you mental health is better.

We don't need people beating us down any more than we already beat ourselves down. Hugs @Deilla

Deilla · Jan 27, 2024 at 06:24 PM

I spent the entire day crying and ruminating. I still haven't heard from the girlfriend. I guess I have to move on. I talked to a different sister of mine. She was helpful. Today's just been a wasted day. I did very few chores and I did no hygiene. I'm too depressed.

Violetta75 · Jan 27, 2024 at 06:42 PM

I can try to understand. If you saw my messy room in the past year you would know I'm not doing well. I think we need to stop sometimes, it's fine to cry. I had to hold my tears in for so long, it will eventually have to be released.

I'm glad to hear your other sister was helpful. One moment at a time, you are doing the best you can. After thinking about the friend I had most of my life, I called one last time. I give up. Take it easy on yourself a bit... us with really bad depression are usually critisized in one way or another.

Deilla · Jan 28, 2024 at 06:08 AM

I can relate to a messy room. My apartment is a mess. I try to keep up but that's all I can do. I have very little energy.

That's what I'm learning... that it's fine to cry. It hurts though. But hopefully, there's an end to it.

Indeed, people with depression are unfairly criticized. I have heard harsh words from my mom and sister before. They just don't understand or care to understand.

Discombobulated · Jan 28, 2024 at 09:05 AM

When I was in therapy I was advised to be careful where and who I sought support from, that proved to be very good advice.

It can be extremely difficult with family. The dynamics can be complex and people can knowingly or unknowingly project their stuff onto us. Breaking out of this is almost impossible, it can have its roots lifelong.

You didn’t deserve the things said to you. Sometimes it might not be apparent exactly how hard a person is trying just to stay reasonably stable as they are, the last thing you need in that situation is to be further criticised.

Rose76 · Feb 12, 2024 at 07:06 PM

I've been doing pretty well over the past week. Today wasn't so good. I've been in the doldrums all day. This morning, I kept going back to bed because I felt cold. It takes hours for my apartment to warm up. I've had too many sad thoughts today.

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Rose76 Legendary Member Since Mar 2011 Location: USA Posts: 12,434 (SuperPoster!) 13 5,341 hugs given	Feb 12, 2024 at 07:06 PM #8 I've been doing pretty well over the past week. Today wasn't so good. I've been in the doldrums all day. This morning, I kept going back to bed because I felt cold. It takes hours for my apartment to warm up. I've had too many sad thoughts today.
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