Rant - Living in hell

I am 50, old, unhealthy, fat, ugly.

I absolutely loathe myself.

I have no driver’s license for 4 years now and they keep denying me to get it back.

I have zero quality of life, it is empty, boring, lonely, meaningless, and shameful.

I just got fired from my job. No way that anyone will hire me.

I am dirt poor.

My family abandoned me.

My kids are grown, independent, and too busy for me.

I have no friends at all.

I have no partner.

I have zero support.

My health has left me crippled and debilitated.

I am in constant pain.

I have lots of mental health issues.

I have severe depression and anhedonia.

I am terrified of and hopeless about the future.

I have nothing at all to live for.

I have no peace, safety, or security.

I do not take care of myself at all.

No therapies, treatments, or medications help.

No solution.

I have no life whatsoever.

I lay in bed all day tortured by doom and gloom.

I am paralyzed and frozen and cannot function.

I can go on and on and on.

Only negative things in my life.

My life is permanently destroyed, forever.

I ruined everything and nothing can be done.

Impossible for anything to improve.

I wish I had the courage to end it all.

I hear you. I try to do one small thing a day.