Wtf is an impulsive person supposed to do with chronic suicidality.

Literally can’t be honest with friends because when I am it’s “go to the nearest hospital and call me when you get there “ which happened today but then I just slept at some dudes house and now I’m in a car thinking about ending my life but like this is baseline so no need to worry right?

@MuddyBoots I am sorry you are feeling so low that you are considering ending your life. To me that would be a great loss so I hope you seek help and get yourself feeling stable again.

You have friends that are trying to help you. They must care about you but when one is considering hastening the end of life, that is something that needs professional help.

If you need or want to contact an online support, there are suicide prevention links here at the end of this link by DocJohn Our Suicidal Posting Policy & Suicide Resources

Remember what DocJohn says "Don't throw away your shot."

Another thing I heard "Do not make a persmanent decision for a temporary situation."

CANDC
[If you want me to see your reply to this post please include @CANDC in your message - not in requoting my message]

I didn’t throw away my fking shot. In this stupid pos game I’ve tried making a basket 100 times, but I guess I just suck. People want to keep me in the game because it’s like a ****** league game and they want to be inclusive, but if I weren’t surrounded by coaches trying and failing to make me feel better about myself and teammates who are constantly throwing the ball in my face and then getting pissed when I can’t do anything with it, I wouldnt and shouldn’t even be in this stupid miserable fked up pointless joyless game.

“Do not make a permanent decision for a temporary situation.” Okay, next time I am hungry and want a slice of toast with peanut butter on it, I’ll starve because the craving is only temporary and eventually I won’t even feel the hunger. Next time my cat gets severely terminally I’ll and suffering I won’t put her down because the situation of her living is only temporary. I’ll never stay sober because my desire to be clean and sober is merely fleeting. I won’t piss in the woods on a four day backpacking trip because the puss will stay there but I’ll get out of the woods eventually. I won’t end my life because one day I will die and my brain will stop making me want to die.

Perfect fking logic. Grade A. Chronic suicidality solved, gonna go give a TED talk on how a couple trite sayings saved my life.

A couple of people elsewhere have been violating me repeatedly with trite patronising sayings. I understand what you mean

Hi friend, you are not alone , I think even in this virtual space the words people have given me good or bad help. My case is different and may be religious but I flog my self with a belt o my back to try to feel alive and not so dead inside its twisted and still live with someone who abuses me verbally and makes me feel small, yet I am terrified of she leaves. Not trying to make this my post and sorry if it sounds like that just trying to share you are not suffering alone I wish you as many of my friends here continue to battle your own battles and get the strength to win them . Blessings and a big hug

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro

I still don't know how to handle this. Am I just supposed to put myself into a hospital forever just for the sake of not expiring?

I don't want to tell anyone the truth of how bad it can get at any moment of the day, get forced into the hospital, get discharged after I say I'm not going to kill myself today if I leave, go back into the community, and that night go straight back to where I was before going in.

When I talk on a crisis line, what am I supposed to say when they ask if I have a plan and means to that plan? "yeah, but you don't need to call EMS because that statement has been true 90% of the time for the past 10 years and none of my attempts were successful so we're good?" Nah, they have to respond to that as if it's an acute crisis, so of course I'm going to lie and say "no plan" because being brought to the ER against my will and going through that rigamarole is going to make things worse.

Nothing is set in stone obviously, but I feel like this will never go away and I'm just going to try and try until I succeed (not in the good way).

Have you read Albert Ellis? His thing was, so what? So you feel bad, so what? Only he wrote it in books n stuff.

Nothing, I guess.

I guess I'll adopt that philosophy and just sit through feeling like shyt and not try to do anything about it. Obviously better than trying to get myself stable housing, finances, mental health, relationships because we all know THAT'S not going to happen.