I’m back. I needed a break. Updates & apology

First of all, sorry if I offended or annoyed anyone on here. Tbh, I still feel like was judged to harshly &ar times on some of my threads. I took a break for my own mental health as people were getting annoyed with me on here.

I want to remind people to try to be more mindful of what you say & how you say it as everyone on here is on here to get support instead of judgment & criticism.

Anyways, I’m looking for work again but at this point, I’m definitely going to apply for disability this time in a month probably if no one ends up hiring me.

To those of you who might not recall my background, I suffer from depression, anxiety, body image issues, food addiction, former bullimia, low self esteem, was bullied in the past, my dad is a narcissist, my mom is probably a delusional paranoid schizoaffective & my sister is a sociopath. & a career criminal .

My husband is a control freak & financially controlling too. Things have gotten worse now.

Each week he would give me $400. This week he only gave me $100 plus a limit on what I can spend on HIS credit card for food.

The weird thing is that we went on a trip for 11 days kast month & now he’s freaking out about money claiming that there is only $700 in the joint account. The lowest it’s ever been was a few thousand. But usually it’s between 20000-5000.

Idk if this will be permanent or not but he told me it’s until more money is coming in. He explodes at me almost everytime I ask him for money for anything at all.

I have to beg him for money. He plays these sick games with me & he gave me half one day $ he said he’ll bring the rest home the next day. Sometimes he’ll lie & say the bank was closed. Why not go to the ATM? He’s full of crap.

He hides money in his car too. Why does he do that? I had to ask him for money numerous times as he doesn’t give me anything after I ask for it. He screams at me & said that all I care about is money!

I have no credit on my cards & he forbid me from withdrawing money from the joint checking account. He still threatens to take my name off the account & now he says that he won’t put any money in the account.

Things are getting to be mych worse as he now says he won’t give me anymore money as I ‘spend’ to much & that he’ll go grocery shopping with me soon. No, just no.

I’m extremely upset now He doesn’t want me to turn on the heater or the a/c either. He hates it when I go anywhere with friends

It’s like he just wants me to stay home to cook, ckean & occasionally have sex with. Ugh.

He claims that the IRS is pressuring him to make weekly payments now. He’s owed the IRS over 100000 for the last 20 years.

I don’t believe him. How could you owe that much & still have the house? So supposedly he now owes them 30000 as he makes weekly payments of $700-800.

He told me that since he reduced what he owes to 50000 or less, that they allowed him to make payments. We live in the U.S btw.

Is that true or not? I tried calling them but I got a v.m & no one called me back. How do I get a hold of someone? My friend thinks he’s lying.

For the trip, he used his points for the tickets. But that’s it. We went to an inexpensive place.

So yesterday he was lecturing me on what to say & not say for an interview for a personal assistant job.

Unfortunately I asked him to drive me there as it’s for a disabled seinior citizen at his apartment. I wanted to be safe just in case he turned out to be a creep.

He kept repeating himself even after I told him I understood things. He then got pissed & said that he he was trying to help me by lecturing me.

I was irritated as he sounded like a broken record. He screamed at me on the way home & said that I had no respect for him & how I don’t care about him & how he’s had enough & that he’ll soon really snap & that I have a problem with ‘lashing’ out at people & that everything is always my fault

It’s not & I don’t lash out at people usually. He constantly interrupts me, he never listens to me, I often need to repeat what I say because he never listens to me talk.

Why does he treat me like this? It’s like he expects me to let him lecture & nag me to death & be grateful for it, ugh.

I tell him I understand but he never shuts uopuntil I walk away. Then he’ll give me the silent treatment.

Anyways, I think that I might’ve gotten hired yesterday as an office assistant/housecleaner

It’s a p/t postion for one day a week for 3 weeks each month. I’d be typing letters on a computer & doing vaccuming.

I asked the guy if I was hired as he kept telling me about things but he never mentioned a start date. He said yes.

He talked to me for over an hour when my husband was waiting in the car. Yesterday he told me to call him in the evening to get my schedule. He said he wasn’t sure of his schedule yet. He seems nice & his wife seems quiet but nice. His son is autistic but I won’t be dealing with him at all.

This morning he called me & said that he had to go to the doctors & that he’d call me later today or tomorrow.

I’m starting to wonder if he’s blowing me off or not. I might’ve made a bad first impression as my rude husband kept interrupting me on speaker phone in the car. We couldn’t find the place.

My husband said that I’m stupid for calling him twice when we were lost. Wth? Ugh! He constantly interrupted me when I was trying to get directions. He didn’t think that he did anything wrong as he was trying to help me. I told him that he was rude to interrupt me which pussed him off.

He interrupts me constantly.

So, us that disabled guy blowing me off? Maybe he only said yes to be polite? Why did he talk to me for so long if he wasn’t interested in me though?

Was he just bored or lonely?

I have another personal assistant/light housekeeper interview with a couple today this afternoon that offers more hours.

I’m even more depressed, anxious & upset now. My friends think my husband isn’t going to go to these extremes, but idk about that anymore. He’s getting worse now because he’s stressed out & taking everything out on me.

His business isn’t doing well at all but he refuses to give up on it & do something else.

Sorry for the long post. I’d appreciate any insight or advice again.

Wish me luck with these two jobs. It’s a better fit for me than my last job.