[nonightowl]

Originally Posted by Calla lily12

Snip: You should have been thanked for helping her.

I agree. Those women should have given you the credit for being the first to help and not take all the glory for themselves. People suck.

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Sent from my iPhone

[Buffy01]

I feel very hurt by what my two sisters said

[Rose76]

I was down with tummy sickness today. I'm better now. 3rd day without depression.

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by Rose76

Depressed.

me too

[3rd rock]

I actually wrote 1,000 words today, in one day, for the first time in several weeks. I'm trying to radically alter my style of writing by forcing myself to work within certain confines in terms of word counts so as to produce something much more readable and accessible to the average reader, with an eye towards getting this book published when I'm finished. I have a timeline of the end of the year for a first draft, and then a final draft by the end of June next year. That will mean about a year I'll have spent writing this thing overall. To be honest, it's only the delusional fantasy of becoming a successful author that really gives me any hope for the future. I choose to cling to that fantasy because without it, there's no hope, and all I'd be doing is just waiting away the days until I inevitably pass. And that's too gruesome a future to really contemplate seriously.

[Rose76]

Still not depressed. The heat does take away my energy. Tummy pain was bugging me this morning, but gone now.

[will19]

Nothing much has been going on with me lately. This is the time of year when I tend to feel the most depressed and anxious. It can be a challenge to get out of bed in the mornings because of it. I have three appointments coming up that I'm dreading within the next month. It seems like bad things tend to happen to me at this time of year; along with putting up with the heat and noise.

I personally want to thank all of you who replied to me last week. I was very touched with the nice replies and care for me for what had happened for me at that time.

[Rose76]

Very depressed.

[Calla lily12]

Is it ok if I give safe hugs to all who feel depressed?

[3rd rock]

I'm going into treatment on Wednesday, so I've been cleaning my apartment. I'm only doing this in case my landlord needs to enter my suite for some reason during my absence. He's already done annual inspections earlier this year, which passed without incident. But I still need to make sure my suite is adequately presentable in case he enters for other reasons. I drew up a task list and schedule a few days ago, and I've been working it as it's written. I've allowed myself plenty of time, considering that my suite was already in basically presentable condition. Today, I cleaned the floors in the bathroom and kitchen, and I cleaned the toilet bowl and shower. Tomorrow, I'll vacuum, take out the garbage, and tidy up in the bedroom.

I've completed a chapter on my novel, and now it's on to the next one. I hope to have a draft finished within the next 8-10 weeks. If so, I can probably finish a rewrite by the end of the year. Then I have to find readers who will be willing to read a copy and give me critical feedback, which I can incorporate into the third draft. I hope to have the novel finished by the end of June, 2025. After that, I can begin the arduous attempt at getting published.

My mood is more or less stable. I haven't had any crying spells for about a week. I've been sleeping okay. I'm apprehensive about going into treatment, mainly because it involves being surrounded by a group of new people. We'll see what happens. I intend to work on my novel while I'm in treatment, during my downtime. I hope to be able to write an average of 1,000 words per day. I think that's possible, given the schedule at treatment. There's lots of time given for what they label 'client free time.' I can use that time to write on my phone.

[nonightowl]

Originally Posted by will19

snip: ….along with putting up with the heat and noise.

On July 4th they started shooting off fireworks and firecrackers at 6:30, hours before sunset and it lasted until past midnight! So little sleep and felt like crap all day long the next day. As much as I hate the end of the year holiday season, there’s no fireworks. Still it lasts 2 months…. I can’t win. I’m glad August has no holidays and I won’t hear about the big holiday weekend and the plans “Americans” have. Not me.

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Sent from my iPhone

[will19]

Today was eventful. I went to the Lab in the morning for blood work and got my results rather quickly, which was nice. The results were pretty good so I'm happy about it.

When leaving the Lab, my sister called to tell me that my brother got COVID and didn't sound well. He had called her because today is her birthday. I gave him a call later in the morning. At first he sounded very low but it seemed like he was picking up near the end of the phone call.

After lunch my sister called again and told me that my cousin's husband had passed away. He was 90 years old. I wasn't surprised because he had been in failing health for a while (congestive heart).

My poor sister had to deal with some bad news on her birthday today.

[Buffy01]

I’ve been dealing with feeling depressed by forcing myself to get up and move around

[Rose76]

Felt bad today and did nothing all day. Depressed.

[will19]

I've been feeling depressed and anxious all day today. Even exercising hasn't helped like before. I'm feeling like something bad is going to happen. It's a common feeling for me. Maybe it's because it's the time of year in which I feel that way a lot. Or maybe my brain structure has changed. I don't know!

[Calla lily12]

All I can say is bad...very bad.

[nonightowl]

Originally Posted by will19

I've been feeling depressed and anxious all day today. Even exercising hasn't helped like before. I'm feeling like something bad is going to happen. It's a common feeling for me. Maybe it's because it's the time of year in which I feel that way a lot. Or maybe my brain structure has changed. I don't know!

Yesterday I cut my gym workout short because it felt like such a chore, like flossing. Also I wanted to get home and shower before the janitor comes. I hate that she comes after business hours now, making so much noise dragging that bucket on wheels around. My bathroom is right next to the walkways and garage so I get all the noise.

I’m sick of the same club but it’s walking distance and traffic is getting so unbearable around here that I don’t know if it’s worth it just for a change of scenery. And I definitely need that. I’m sick of everything even my exercise class at the senior center. Sick of the same music and same steps. And that place too.

Like you I’m afraid something bad will happen. And I’m sure it’s because I don’t know who I would call. To exacerbate that feeling, I’m getting bombarded with political scam texts like asking me for money, instead of real friends or family.

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Sent from my iPhone

[will19]

Originally Posted by nonightowl

Yesterday I cut my gym workout short because it felt like such a chore, like flossing. Also I wanted to get home and shower before the janitor comes. I hate that she comes after business hours now, making so much noise dragging that bucket on wheels around. My bathroom is right next to the walkways and garage so I get all the noise.

I’m sick of the same club but it’s walking distance and traffic is getting so unbearable around here that I don’t know if it’s worth it just for a change of scenery. And I definitely need that. I’m sick of everything even my exercise class at the senior center. Sick of the same music and same steps. And that place too.

Like you I’m afraid something bad will happen. And I’m sure it’s because I don’t know who I would call. To exacerbate that feeling, I’m getting bombarded with political scam texts like asking me for money, instead of real friends or family.

———
Sent from my iPhone

When I exercise and go bike riding, I do them alone. I workout in my apartment. I feel like I'm too introverted and overwhelmed to go to a gym or workout class. I feel like I'd have a lot of courage within myself to go to a gym or a class. I think you have a lot of courage to do it for yourself. I prefer to workout by myself; and then I love the music I workout with because I picked it all out myself instead of having it picked for me.

There are times when I feel like I can get tired of working out and going on a bike ride. There have been times when I was about to say "screw it!" and not bother. But I always ended up doing it. Sometimes I feel that way about cleaning, too.

I feel like it would be nice to have someone who would have my back. I like living by myself but I feel like it would be ideal to have a neighbor to have my back and I could have their's. Unfortunately that's an impossible dream. If I could have something like it, it would help with my dreadful feelings. By the way, I have a couple of doctor appointments within a couple of weeks that I'm dreading.

[Rose76]

Depressed. Saw the psychologist today. The hot weather makes me not want to do anything.

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by Rose76

Felt bad today and did nothing all day. Depressed.

I am very