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Veteran Member
Member Since May 2019
Location: Canada
Posts: 566
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#181
I have been in treatment for about 3 weeks so far, and I have about a week left. I could apply for an extension if I want, but I don't think I want to. Because my medications are all out of whack, I'm finding it difficult to focus on treatment. Also, much of what I'm being taught I already knew anyways. Furthermore, I'm finding it difficult to relate to my peers here in treatment, although that may just be an expression of my general difficulties in socializing.
I'm deeply depressed, and I find myself experiencing random crying spells. The medication they put me on I've had to discontinue due to severe side effects which leave me all but completely disabled. Once I get out of treatment I will need to see a psychiatrist to get on a new medication, and who knows how long that will take. The novel is not going well. I'm going to start a new draft the day after I get home from treatment. I hope to have it done by the end of September, and then a subsequent draft by the end of the year. I will pull out all the stops to get it done. My lack of progress has left me deeply depressed and very sad. |
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Legendary
Member Since Mar 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 12,603
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#182
I'm still doing pretty well. Pruned some shrubs in our courtyard and a rose bush. It left me sore. Wish I could fall asleep.
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Desert Kitty hates titles
Member Since Jul 2008
Location: TARDIS
Posts: 10,077
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#183
The older I get the more any change or disruption sends me into a tailspin. One of my next door neighbors has moved out. He's been a good neighbor and I never got one second of noise or trouble. He was kind enough to let me know by leaving me a note Monday that he will be leaving the end of the month, which is now much to my dismay. For some reason I thought it was the 23rd and I still had a week to process this.
He also said I have been a great neighbor, about time someone noticed that. ![]() Now I'll get remodeling noise, noise from when the manager shows the place and move in noise. When there’s a effing vacancy they work 7 days a week making all that noise. They start at 8am and keep remodeling these apartments over and over. There’s only so much they can do. Anyway he was my neighbor 4 years so I’m spoiled. Will, I know you can relate to uncertainty of new neighbors. This election is already killing me and now this. August is usually my favorite month because of no holidays but now I'll probably get a new neighbor in the middle of the month. I feel like summer is when bad things happen to me. It seems like everything is going wrong at once. My neighbor is gone and yesterday in the mail I got a jury summons for a seedy part of town. It's for the week of September 2nd which is Labor Day. Even though I may not have to report, I already worry. Nobody wants to go there. I even had a nightmare last night that when I called that number, a woman answered (it's automated in real life) to tell me something different from what the form says. And she said to look also for an email but it wasn't on there. It's the routine of calling in every night after 7pm for 5 days, though I don't know how they handle a holiday, like does it count. I know I can't drive in that hellish traffic and deal with the parking. 7 is awfully late to know if I have to get up earlier. And the usual threatening language is all over the form like I better not miss checking in. Now all I’m doing is agonizing over jury duty and neighbors. It takes me 2 months to adjust to a new neighbor at least. And regarding people not following through or up, that happens to me a lot too. Or lip service, I guess that means the same thing. It’s a matter of time before I find out if someone telling me something they will do is just lip service. Both people and companies aren’t what they used to be. Or maybe because I’m older I’m more aware of bs. ![]() ![]() ——— Sent from my iPhone __________________ ![]() ![]() Hmmm....looks like some good tips in here. "Okay, enough photos. I'm a very BUSY Business Kitty, so make an appointment next time." |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Oct 2012
Posts: 3,697
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#184
To Nonightowl: I'm sorry to hear about your nice neighbor moving out and the summons to jury duty. I've had nice neighbors next to me move out, but I've been fortunate that the new neighbors turned out alright. I could happen to you, and I know how anxiety inducing this is.
About me: I've been having depression a lot lately, especially when I get out of bed. I had a pain in upper arm about a month ago. That pain is gone but now the pain found it's way to my lower back. I prefer the pain in the arm than in the lower back. I have a doctor's appointment next week and I'm not looking forward to it. It has me down also. |
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Desert Kitty hates titles
Member Since Jul 2008
Location: TARDIS
Posts: 10,077
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#185
Quote:
![]() ![]() I’m relieved it’s not after the time change because it will be dark around 5 and I can’t be out driving or riding buses alone in the dark. ![]() I’m stiff when I get up and it takes time to get moving. I do exercises on my hips and neck daily or I don’t feel right. I hope your appointment goes okay. I hate going to doctors because they just say what’s wrong with you, not what’s right. My blood sugar improved but she didn’t mention it. Instead she tells me my cholesterol is too high. I’m doing the right things and there’s only so much I can do. ——— Sent from my iPhone __________________ ![]() ![]() Hmmm....looks like some good tips in here. "Okay, enough photos. I'm a very BUSY Business Kitty, so make an appointment next time." |
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Veteran Member
Member Since May 2019
Location: Canada
Posts: 566
5 6,118 hugs
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#186
Quote:
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Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 9,964
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#187
![]() ![]() ![]() __________________ Everyone can do magic - Cassie Nightgale the good witch. Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live. This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak. In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living. Like love, it's how we know we're alive. And life goes on. That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries |
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Legendary
Member Since Mar 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 12,603
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#188
I'm not doing too well. Emotionally, the depression has stayed away . . . but I'm real low on motivation. Not getting much done.
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Desert Kitty hates titles
Member Since Jul 2008
Location: TARDIS
Posts: 10,077
16 7,509 hugs
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#189
Dear Buffy, what anniversaries and birthdays are they? I can relate, as the holiday season has several unhappy ones for me, and that’s already 2 months of h e l l for that reason alone.
![]() ——— Sent from my iPhone __________________ ![]() ![]() Hmmm....looks like some good tips in here. "Okay, enough photos. I'm a very BUSY Business Kitty, so make an appointment next time." |
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Desert Kitty hates titles
Member Since Jul 2008
Location: TARDIS
Posts: 10,077
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#190
Quote:
I see why people try to get out of it. They treat you like cattle when you arrive, pay a measly $15 a DAY and 15 cents a mile, one way only as if you don’t go home. And the notice is filled with threats about fines and jail if you don’t cooperate. Of course they could be idle threats but who knows? It depends on whether it’s federal or county and what area you’re in, where it might be a tad better on pay and mileage. The system needs an overhaul like everything else. ![]() ![]() ——— Sent from my iPhone __________________ ![]() ![]() Hmmm....looks like some good tips in here. "Okay, enough photos. I'm a very BUSY Business Kitty, so make an appointment next time." |
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Elder Harridan x-hankster
Member Since Jun 2011
Location: Milan/Michigan
Posts: 40,571
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#191
Rock, if you are mentally compromised, write that down. Are you on disability? I once answered that i was on meds that required me to use the bathroom frequently. Personally i dont think i could sit still that long around other peopke without acting out.
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Legendary
Member Since Mar 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 12,603
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#192
Not doing good today. Got nothing accomplished. I would feel much better now, if I had gotten showered, dressed and out of the house. I didn't. It's like I'm ruled by a compulsion to let my life fall apart. I feel pretty relaxed though. Like I just don't care.
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Oct 2012
Posts: 3,697
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#193
I'm depressed. I have an appointment tomorrow morning and it will be a minor procedure. It's not a big deal but it's something I'm not looking forward to. I wish I didn't have to go.
Along with feeling depressed and anxious about tomorrow, it doesn't help that it's hot outside and having to put up with unwanted noises that's like torture to me. |
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Legendary
Member Since Mar 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 12,603
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#194
I feel pretty good today. Need to be less lazy. My place is chaotic looking.
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Desert Kitty hates titles
Member Since Jul 2008
Location: TARDIS
Posts: 10,077
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#195
Quote:
![]() ——— Sent from my iPhone __________________ ![]() ![]() Hmmm....looks like some good tips in here. "Okay, enough photos. I'm a very BUSY Business Kitty, so make an appointment next time." |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Oct 2012
Posts: 3,697
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#196
I had my minor procedure this morning. The procedure went well, but now I have to do self-care for a little while and there's some restrictions. The first two days following a procedure like that is the worst, I think. It's worse than the procedure itself.
I couldn't sleep last night because of thinking about my appointment today. Plus it was pretty hot in my room. I feel tired today because of the lack of sleep and the appointment. Now I'm glad it's over with but I'll be much happier when the self-care and restrictions are over. |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Oct 2012
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#197
Quote:
This morning I had some time at home before my appointment. About an hour before I left for it, there was a lot of noise coming from across the street with the construction of the new apartments going up. That didn't help my anxiety before having to go to my appointment. |
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Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 9,964
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#198
Quote:
![]() ![]() ![]() __________________ Everyone can do magic - Cassie Nightgale the good witch. Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live. This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak. In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living. Like love, it's how we know we're alive. And life goes on. That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Oct 2012
Posts: 3,697
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#199
The procedure I had last Wednesday is over and I'm happy about it; but the recovering, self-care from the procedure, and restrictions seem harder for me than the procedure itself.
Even though I'm retired and feeling like my life is not exciting, there are two things that help me through; and I can't do them now. It's the band-resistance workout and bike riding. Also I have to be cautious with heavy lifting and straining. I'm able to function alright, but I have to be careful or I could have a set-back. The stitches will be removed a week from Monday (the 19th) and I could get back to normal. Next week will drag. I feel depressed that I'm having a disruption now. I was able to take a shower this morning after not being allowed to in the last couple of days. |
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Desert Kitty hates titles
Member Since Jul 2008
Location: TARDIS
Posts: 10,077
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#200
Quote:
My bedroom is hot too because there’s no wall a/c or anything there, plus the sun beams relentlessly on that wall in the afternoon. If I open the window and use the window fan, which is something, I get the noise from the garage. So I have to wait until it’s really late to open it when most people should be asleep. I still haven’t gotten a new neighbor but it will be soon because they fill vacancies FAST here. Waiting for it is worse than the noise I’ll get when they move in. I hope they do it all at once and not at night. If so they will walk back and forth past my bedroom towards the elevator, pushing a dolly and making all that noise. I know what it’s like to temporarily stop what sustains me too, such as not exercising after a procedure. ![]() It was at my hair salon but I had my back to the window. But my stylist saw it and gasped. She instantly sprang into action as well as her assistant, calling 911. And they went to help in any way they could even though the police and ambulance arrived quickly, the assistant offered the driver some water as it was hot. I got to thinking what if that was me, I’d depend on Good Samaritans because I’d have nobody to call. And I’d have to admit that. I know you can relate as a neighbor once had an emergency you posted about. It really rattled me. The driver started to cry and I almost did, I felt empathy. The car was really damaged too. ![]() ——— Sent from my iPhone __________________ ![]() ![]() Hmmm....looks like some good tips in here. "Okay, enough photos. I'm a very BUSY Business Kitty, so make an appointment next time." |
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Thread | Forum | |||
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