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New Member
Member Since Jun 2024
Location: USA
Posts: 7
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#1
I’ve been in a particularly dark place for a particularly long time now, & it seems like it just keeps getting worse. I try to play sane well enough to at least not add to the chaos or drag everyone else down with me, but despite my best efforts, life continues to get more hellish as the days drag on. I’ve gotten to the point where I’ve considered quitting the act & just letting life take me where it will. Maybe a life of solitude, maybe a mental hospital, who knows? All I do know is that I’m tired, & I have nothing left to give. Besides, would being a “prisoner” of a hospital really be any worse than being a prisoner of my own head? I doubt it.
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![]() D-a-n, mote.of.soul, unaluna
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Super Moderator
Community Support Team Community Liaison
Chat Leader Member Since May 2014
Location: Northeast USA New England
Posts: 17,704
(SuperPoster!)
10 2,343 hugs
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#2
@Why4 welcome to MSF. I am sorry you are feeling so low. That sounds like a lot to deal with.
Have you considered talking to a psychiatrist or psych person that can prescribe you meds or change the meds if you are on them already because meds do not work forever and need to be changed or change the dose. Hope you get the support you are looking for. CANDC [If you want me to see your reply to this post please include @CANDC in your message - not in requoting my message] __________________ Super Moderator Community Support Team "Things Take Time" |
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New Member
Member Since Jun 2024
Location: USA
Posts: 7
|
#3
@CANDC tried meds once upon a time, and they were zero help. My husband even said they made me act weird. Don’t have the time, money, or transportation for any sort of therapy, so I’m pretty stuck. None of the usual go-tos are an option for me.
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Super Moderator
Community Support Team Community Liaison
Chat Leader Member Since May 2014
Location: Northeast USA New England
Posts: 17,704
(SuperPoster!)
10 2,343 hugs
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#4
@Why4 sometimes the meds people take for them do not work while others will. It is more of an art form than a science when professionals prescribe meds for a particular person because each person reacts differently to different meds, although they know a lot more about how they work than I do.
CANDC __________________ Super Moderator Community Support Team "Things Take Time" |
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Member
Member Since Jul 2021
Location: virginia
Posts: 323
3 35 hugs
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#5
Staying in a hospital should be a very last resort.
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Creek Devil
Member Since Jan 2018
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 13,460
(SuperPoster!)
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#6
Yes, there's no shame in reaching out to the hospital for help Why4. Maybe they do counselling and you can empty your heart and soul and everything... I mean, you can only do things by yourself for so long, I believe. Keep that glimmer of hope alive for as long as you can, because the future is uncertain anything can happen right? Positive things too! Hang in there Why4.
![]() __________________ "A flower falls, even though we love it; and a weed grows, even though we do not love it."- Dōgen
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New Member
Member Since Jun 2024
Location: USA
Posts: 7
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#7
Quote:
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New Member
Member Since Jun 2024
Location: USA
Posts: 7
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#8
Quote:
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New Member
Member Since Jun 2024
Location: USA
Posts: 7
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#9
It’s not that I want to do that, it’s that I’m tired of avoiding it. If those around me knew what runs through my head on a daily basis, I have no doubt that’s exactly where they’d put me, assuming that they didn’t just walk. Pretending to be even ok-ish is exhausting, and I just get so tired of having to keep up the act 24/7. I’ve been putting on this Oscar worthy performance since I was a kid and I feel like I just can’t keep it up anymore. Fearing what others would do/stop doing if I let them see the real me has always been my drive to keep the sane mask on, but I’m to the point where I’m just too tired to care.
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