[timeforsleep]

Do you ever reflect that a part of your life has been a waste due to living in depression? I have not had social friends for 9 years and no girlfriends for 5 years. I reflect and see that I just try to survive and get out of bed just for school. Is this a life worth living? I am scared of the thought of being old and thinking of what a pointless life I led.

[nowheretorun]

hi timeforsleep... thats a great idea... use your fear to transform your life and make it

[timeforsleep]

That's the problem though, nowheretorun. It doesn't seem to get me to get myself to try and live a life worth living.

[Doh2007]

I don't know what to say, but I care.

[silver_moon]

I feel the same way... although it's only been a short time compared to a lot on this board (2 1/2 years), I feel like a lot of that has been wasted... there's nothing I can look back at and think, yes I'd love to do that again because I spend every day trying to just 'get by' and cope.
I keep trying to get myself to be more social (but it's really hard for me)... maybe you should do that too?
Hardest part for me is knowing that those two and a half years have been what's supposed to be some crucial years in my academic and social life (end of college/beginning of university)

Try and think of something you enjoy doing... anything? Do you work? Try and pursue a life long dream maybe (if it's possible)... I've always loved musical theatre since a young age but unfortunately don't have a good singing voice, so I've recently decided I'm going to learn to dance, not sure when I'll get enough courage to start but I'm trying

Hope I've helped a bit
take care

Molly

[Perna]

Timeforsleep, I am 57 and had that sort of life until I was in my 30's but do not feel that time was a "waste". I learned valuable things, dealth with and avoided pain (like desert frogs http://allaboutfrogs.org/weird/strange/catholic.html) Nothing stays the same, life goes on and changes as it goes. You won't always be/feel the way you do now.

[nowheretorun]

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timeforsleep said:
That's the problem though, nowheretorun. It doesn't seem to get me to get myself to try and live a life worth living.

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well.. hope you dont have to suffer long then... depression is trying to tell you to make a change... its not evil...

[snow123]

I feel the same way. I have questioned the worthiness of life and haven't came to an answer but with my negativity, it can cloud what be different.

Perhaps, you could find something that you like doing. depression is grabs most of our motivation and it is difficult to do anything.

[tautologic]

I struggle with the worthiness of my relationship with my husband because of his depression. I too regret all of the lost time wasted over the years because of it. The only thing you can do is DECIDE to improve the quality of your life, or to accept it as it is.

[Fuzzybear]

[wickedwings]

thinking the same thing about my own life.... trying to help myself....

[timeforsleep]

Yes. I don't think this world is for everybody.

[AAAAA]

I really don’t want to look back on my life and see how much of it was wasted, I can’t change the past, only try to improve the future. I hope you're able to see a brighter future!

[wickedwings]

that's what i'm trying to do..... make my future better, somehow. i've done everything to get myself out of depression. crap.

[jefftele]

i often ask myself why me, but the answer to that is why not me! it is a cruel illness and doesn't make any sense to me, it is a heavy burden to carry

[AAAAA]

(((((jefftele))))) It is a heavy burden, here's hoping that you find the right meds to help you carry the load!

[wickedwings]

i could never find the right meds that could take on my load - the heavy load of depression.

[timeforsleep]

The only time the load is gone is when I sleep. Someimes there is nightmares but if they are not real bad I prefer them to real life. Life is a nightmare for.