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  #1  
Old Oct 10, 2024, 12:01 AM
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jesyka jesyka is offline
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Maybe it’s because I’m a shy introverted person, or maybe I’m becoming wiser & more cynical too, idk, but most people tend to annoy & irrtate me most of the time.

A lot of people seem fake, two faced, untrustworthy, selfish, most of them aren’t that interesting either. Most people seem to have a weird herd mentality & they tend to not like anyone who is different from them in any way.

A lot of people seem to be cliquey. Especially women & younger people at times. A lot of people aren’t genuine or kind either.

They’ll use you & toss you aside the second they don’t need you anymore. Most people aren’t loyal or trustworthy either.

I prefer being by myself most of the time. I still need to socialize with people at times. I feel like giving up on meeting new people as I’m constantly being ignored, dismissed, disrespected, etc…

Also, a lot of people cate way to much about your social status & if you’re not popular or if you don’t have the right connections & money, then most people don’t want to associate with you usually as you have nothing to offer them in their eyes.

I really hate it when people immediately ask me what I do for a living as it seems like they’re evaluating my ‘worth’.

Also, if you have a physical or mental disability, then most people will shun, ignore, mock or bully you & exclude you from everything.

My cat is better than everyone, lol. Does anyone else feel like this too? Most people are boring, confusing & they drain me & frustrate me usually.

Last edited by jesyka; Oct 10, 2024 at 02:48 AM.
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  #2  
Old Oct 10, 2024, 04:28 PM
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Yaowen Yaowen is offline
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I can definitely relate to so much of what you wrote. Wish I knew what to say to be helpful.
Thanks for this!
T4bbyCat
  #3  
Old Oct 10, 2024, 10:07 PM
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Rose76 Rose76 is offline
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You have literally said that most people are not much good. That is simply not true. There are rotten people in this world. Anyone you happen to meet could be one of them. But there are also lots of decent people all around us. Many of them are just as good-hearted as you consider yourself to be. There are even people out there who are better than you and better than me.

If you have the idea that most people are not as decent as you, that is going to color how you come across.

I don't think you really believe that you're better than everybody else. More likely, you've had some disappointments that have left you very discouraged. I know the feeling. Be careful not to overgeneralize, which is a very human tendency, especially when we've felt let down.

Pushing back against the tendency to overgeneralize is taught in cognitive-behavioral therapy. You could explore that with a therapist. Or there are lots of self-help books about CBT that can foster taking a more balanced view of other people and other things in general.

I do have a tendency to think along the lines you've described. When I get into that frame of mind, I ask myself if it's really likely that I'm better or nicer than "most people." I can't look in the mirror and say "Yes" with a straight face.

Knowing another person takes a good deal of time spent with them. As introverts, we don't get to know all that many people. So we make big judgements, based on very little evidence. Any person you run into may be an angel or a jerk . . . or something in between. You don't know what "most people" are like. Nor do I. However, when I give people a chance, I've had some pleasant surprises. It's good to remember that other people have had hurtful experiences of their own. They don't know whether they can trust you, or me. So they may have their guard up, until we demonstrate that we are not phony or disloyal.
Thanks for this!
divine1966, T4bbyCat
  #4  
Old Oct 11, 2024, 04:45 AM
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divine1966 divine1966 is offline
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I don’t observe or feel that most people are what you described at all. Well I don’t know most people but I know many. Most I’ve met or know are just people with good and bad in them. I’d say most people I meet are more good than bad. I’ve met a few two faced fake people but I can count them on my fingers so there are only a few that I’ve in my life. Some might be boring. The rest aren’t this way. I don’t experience most people disrespecting and bullying disabled population. Most aren’t this way at all.

Having said that, of course sometimes I want to not be around people. Especially after a work week.
Thanks for this!
T4bbyCat
  #5  
Old Oct 12, 2024, 03:42 AM
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mote.of.soul mote.of.soul is offline
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Quote:
Does anyone else feel like this too? Most people are boring, confusing & they drain me & frustrate me usually.

Yes, I feel exactly like that, jesyka. I mean, I do admit that it's only my perception of 'most' people, but it is my perception, too, yes.
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"A flower falls, even though we love it; and a weed grows, even though we do not love it."- Dōgen
  #6  
Old Oct 12, 2024, 06:20 AM
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Discombobulated Discombobulated is offline
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For me it’s better described as sometimes the world feels a bit much for me and I need to be alone. I don’t feel people are bad as such, in fact many people are great people to be with, but even when I love them very much I need that time to myself.

I’m sorry that you had such unpleasant experiences.
  #7  
Old Oct 12, 2024, 06:26 AM
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iheartjacques iheartjacques is offline
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For me, I need to be alone to recharge before being with people again. I need a lot of alone time.
  #8  
Old Oct 12, 2024, 09:25 PM
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SquarePegGuy SquarePegGuy is offline
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I have found this to be true:
Quote:
if you have a physical or mental disability, then most people will shun, ignore, mock or bully you & exclude you from everything.
But if you wrote "all people" instead of "most people" I'd disagree, because I think there are caring, considerate people.

But my mood is elevated when I go food shopping. I live in an upscale neighborhood, so maybe the folks I've been smiling at (and who return smiles) are "better." I enjoy the little kids. They'll look at me and squeal something unintelligible at me, so I smile and say "Hi!" Maybe when they see my white beard they think I'm Santa.
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  #9  
Old Nov 13, 2024, 12:23 PM
NovaBlaze NovaBlaze is online now
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Location: England
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It’s really interesting reading your post. I go through long periods where I feel exactly like this. I have come to realise, however, that this is down to my own state of mind and my own unrealistic expectations. In my case, I know this low tolerance of socialising and dealing with people is directly linked to the state of my mental health.

I have been focusing recently on being more accepting and less critical of people’s actions. That said, I think it can be good to evaluate who you do and don’t allow into your life. I try and make this as objective as possible now, by assessing how my friendships work. I ask my self, are my efforts and time reciprocated, or am I the one doing all of the “heavy lifting” in a relationship, and is this relationship a healthy one. I found that if I stopped interacting with people who I felt weren’t making me feel good, or I was in a one way street in terms of effort, one of two things happened - either they noticed and started putting effort in to our friendship, or they drifted away. If they noticed and began returning the effort in the relationship then I worked on that relationship.

That said, I do appreciate that, in my case, I need to look at my own actions and try not to have unrealistic expectations of people. We never know what’s going on in other people’s minds - the stresses and strains that are under, the pain and suffering that they may be keeping quiet, and this will inevitably affect how they interact with us. I had a working relationship with someone who I always thought was extremely unkind, aggressive and dismissive of other people. However, over time I began to understand why, as I took the time to understand and think about the struggle that they had had all throughout their life. Taking time to understand people, and acknowledge who they are and what they have experienced can change a relationship for the better.

I find life tough. It’s not easy is it. The older I get the more I realise I don’t know, and still need to learn. Every day is a school day.

Best wishes, Jeff.
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Thanks for this!
unaluna
  #10  
Old Nov 14, 2024, 10:18 PM
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jesyka jesyka is offline
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Originally Posted by Yaowen View Post
I can definitely relate to so much of what you wrote. Wish I knew what to say to be helpful.
Thanks. It’s good to oniw that The I’m not alone. Most people do suck.
  #11  
Old Nov 14, 2024, 10:20 PM
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jesyka jesyka is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966 View Post
I don’t observe or feel that most people are what you described at all. Well I don’t know most people but I know many. Most I’ve met or know are just people with good and bad in them. I’d say most people I meet are more good than bad. I’ve met a few two faced fake people but I can count them on my fingers so there are only a few that I’ve in my life. Some might be boring. The rest aren’t this way. I don’t experience most people disrespecting and bullying disabled population. Most aren’t this way at all.

Having said that, of course sometimes I want to not be around people. Especially after a work week.
You’re lucky that yiu have not had to many negative experiences with other people. Perhaps it’s because you’re not really disabled or seen as being different.

Sometimes people are nasty, rude & disrespectful to anyone who is different or disabled in sime way. Especially when it comes to having a mental disability.

Most people think that you’re either crazy or lying about being disabled.
  #12  
Old Nov 14, 2024, 10:21 PM
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jesyka jesyka is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mote.of.soul View Post
Yes, I feel exactly like that, jesyka. I mean, I do admit that it's only my perception of 'most' people, but it is my perception, too, yes.
Thanks. It’s good to know that I’m not the only person who has experienced this.
  #13  
Old Nov 14, 2024, 10:22 PM
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jesyka jesyka is offline
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Member Since: Jun 2020
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Discombobulated View Post
For me it’s better described as sometimes the world feels a bit much for me and I need to be alone. I don’t feel people are bad as such, in fact many people are great people to be with, but even when I love them very much I need that time to myself.

I’m sorry that you had such unpleasant experiences.
Thanks. I definitely need my alone time too.
  #14  
Old Nov 14, 2024, 10:22 PM
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jesyka jesyka is offline
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Member Since: Jun 2020
Location: U.S
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Quote:
Originally Posted by iheartjacques View Post
For me, I need to be alone to recharge before being with people again. I need a lot of alone time.
Same here.
  #15  
Old Nov 14, 2024, 10:23 PM
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jesyka jesyka is offline
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Member Since: Jun 2020
Location: U.S
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SquarePegGuy View Post
I have found this to be true: But if you wrote "all people" instead of "most people" I'd disagree, because I think there are caring, considerate people.

But my mood is elevated when I go food shopping. I live in an upscale neighborhood, so maybe the folks I've been smiling at (and who return smiles) are "better." I enjoy the little kids. They'll look at me and squeal something unintelligible at me, so I smile and say "Hi!" Maybe when they see my white beard they think I'm Santa.
That’s nice. Maybe the people where you live are nicer.
  #16  
Old Nov 14, 2024, 10:27 PM
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jesyka jesyka is offline
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Member Since: Jun 2020
Location: U.S
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NovaBlaze View Post
It’s really interesting reading your post. I go through long periods where I feel exactly like this. I have come to realise, however, that this is down to my own state of mind and my own unrealistic expectations. In my case, I know this low tolerance of socialising and dealing with people is directly linked to the state of my mental health.

I have been focusing recently on being more accepting and less critical of people’s actions. That said, I think it can be good to evaluate who you do and don’t allow into your life. I try and make this as objective as possible now, by assessing how my friendships work. I ask my self, are my efforts and time reciprocated, or am I the one doing all of the “heavy lifting” in a relationship, and is this relationship a healthy one. I found that if I stopped interacting with people who I felt weren’t making me feel good, or I was in a one way street in terms of effort, one of two things happened - either they noticed and started putting effort in to our friendship, or they drifted away. If they noticed and began returning the effort in the relationship then I worked on that relationship.

That said, I do appreciate that, in my case, I need to look at my own actions and try not to have unrealistic expectations of people. We never know what’s going on in other people’s minds - the stresses and strains that are under, the pain and suffering that they may be keeping quiet, and this will inevitably affect how they interact with us. I had a working relationship with someone who I always thought was extremely unkind, aggressive and dismissive of other people. However, over time I began to understand why, as I took the time to understand and think about the struggle that they had had all throughout their life. Taking time to understand people, and acknowledge who they are and what they have experienced can change a relationship for the better.

I find life tough. It’s not easy is it. The older I get the more I realise I don’t know, and still need to learn. Every day is a school day.

Best wishes, Jeff.
I understand what you said. I do try to understand other people & to give them the benefit of the doubt. Other people have very unrealistic demands & expectations of me.

Example, my husband knows that I’m shy & introverted with social anxiety & yet he used to force me to socialize with his very rude & cliquey family & friends who’d constantly ignore me & talk in their own language.

I get bullied & criticized for not being ‘normal’ or more social & it’s extremely upsetting to me.
  #17  
Old Nov 15, 2024, 05:56 AM
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divine1966 divine1966 is offline
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Member Since: Dec 2014
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jesyka View Post
I understand what you said. I do try to understand other people & to give them the benefit of the doubt. Other people have very unrealistic demands & expectations of me.

Example, my husband knows that I’m shy & introverted with social anxiety & yet he used to force me to socialize with his very rude & cliquey family & friends who’d constantly ignore me & talk in their own language.

I get bullied & criticized for not being ‘normal’ or more social & it’s extremely upsetting to me.
Your husband is an abusive jerk so he doesn’t represent our society as a whole
  #18  
Old Nov 15, 2024, 06:38 PM
NovaBlaze NovaBlaze is online now
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Member Since: Nov 2024
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jesyka View Post
Example, my husband knows that I’m shy & introverted with social anxiety & yet he used to force me to socialize with his very rude & cliquey family & friends who’d constantly ignore me & talk in their own language.
@jesyka That’s an awful situation to be in. Does he still do this? I don’t think I could be with someone who tried to force me to do this against my will.

Best wishes,
__________________
Jeff
  #19  
Old Yesterday, 03:40 PM
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jesyka jesyka is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966 View Post
Your husband is an abusive jerk so he doesn’t represent our society as a whole
That’s true unfortunately.
  #20  
Old Yesterday, 03:43 PM
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jesyka jesyka is offline
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Originally Posted by NovaBlaze View Post
@jesyka That’s an awful situation to be in. Does he still do this? I don’t think I could be with someone who tried to force me to do this against my will.

Best wishes,
No, not anymore thankfully. We did have a lot of fights about that issue . He cares to much about what his friends & family think . Their feelings & needs always without a doubt mattered a lot more than mine ever did.

I’m not a hugger for example & he’d criticize me & expect me to hug people who dimissed me. Ugh.

I told him that I hate his rude friends & family & that it’s obvious that they never liked me, but he amways insisted that I was always the problem & I was the ‘unfriendly’ one, ugh.
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