Hi, I'm new here, I just need to let it out for a minute...

So, I've searched all the boards and haven't found an appropriate place to plop this thread. I'm new and I don't have a "home" here yet. However, I guess it fits best here b/c for the first time in my life, I think I'm depressed.

For the first time in my adult life, I have nothing. I have negative money, I'm behind in every bill, rent, car, insurance, power, phone, etc... things are getting disconnected, discontinued. I only have internet because I'm out of town at my parents'... but I can't stay here, this is part of the problem.

I came home for a family emergency and in order to do that, I had to resign from my job. I have been here 2 months and the family has taken everything I have... literally and emotionally. I have complex PTSD from the severe abuse they put me through as a child and it has mostly continued. They have some days where they are perfect... others where they are just cruel. (mom is borderline/dad is bipolar w/addictions)

So, I've lost everything, everyone, not sure where to turn, trying to turn here but don't even have the strength to type out a post. I don't know what to do. This sucks. I didn't want to come home for the family emergency but the best friend I had kept telling me how selfish I was being for not going... so I came, and they have been horribly cruel. The only times they have been nice have been when I was giving them money but now that I'm out...

Ok, so, thanks for letting me vent. Not sure what else to say, I just don't know where to turn, I literally, not even exaggerating one bit, I have NOTHING this time.... and I'm 500 miles away from where I hold my lease... and the rent is past due, no utilities, prob all disconnected, ugh.... just ugh.

Thanks again.

Hi SingleGirl,

It looks like I'm newer here than you, and I've already gotten the feeling that you're always welcome and there will always be someone here who is willing to hear your thoughts and emotions.

You are facing a rather horrible situation, so it's no surprise that you're depressed. First, I am sending you my love and support ((((((((((SingleGirl))))))))))

I don't even know what to say about your situation other than it absolutely sucks... that was rather uncalled for for your best friend to call you "selfish" for trying to avoid an emotionally and financially draining family.

Pragmatically speaking, have you considered (or are you currently seeing) a therapist? Therapy can be costly without insurance, so I hope you have decent coverage. Otherwise, you may want to talk to your local Health and Human Services department and ask about getting unemployment assistance and hopefully some medical coverage.

Further, is there anywhere nearby where you can 'retreat' (a friend's or whatnot)? Getting away for a while may give you the time and strength to try to get a handle on all the problems your facing right now and allow you to figure out some solutions.

That's just some immediate advice. Be sure to take care of yourself, rest, and be kind and loving to yourself. Keep posting, and we will try our best to get you through this and figure things out for th elong run.

Much love,



J

Hi SingleGirl,

Can you get your stuff into storage? Do it right away.

As far as work went, apply for unemployment.

Look for another job and take it (temp. job) and save every dime and get out of this home.

Find an apartment (even thru roomates. something or other) and get a dream job next.

We learn from mistakes, that is unless we are not trainable, or incorrigible.

You will not do this again, as it will be easier from a distance to deal with this family.
That way, there is no chance they will suck you dry again.

peace and comfort,
nightbird

p.s. these is a one time only program to help with rent, called homeless prevention - or something like that- and catholic charities and salvation army can help with utilities - try calling everywhere until everything is covered.... and remember the hassle these people put on you next time you are feeling sorry for them.

I agree w/Nightbird. Do all you can to maintain what you have and your sanity. Whatever program is offered take it. You deserve to be treated with dignity and love. good luck.......puckyjan56............xxoo

Thank you all. I'm still processing all of this... it's a mess for the most part. It's even difficult for me to talk about this on here. I haven't been this locked up about it since it was going on when I was a kid... it's scary how 2 months has made me backslide this far.

Thanks again, this is immensely helpful... my plan is to start therapy but if I can't get back to that town, I can't start school, which means I can't go to the free therapist there. Ugh. The state's funding for indigent care clients for mental health is frozen so it will be nearly impossible to get assistance there... Plus, probably most sad of all...l work in the field, so that limits my options that couldn't be considered a dual relationship.

Pooooop.

Hope you are well.

might i ask what part of the "field" you work in? do you mean the mental health field? aren't there some people who you have worked with that could help?

Sounds like you could use a little ME time. By this I mean to heck with everyone else. Take care of yourself first. Good luck kiddo. I'll keep a good thought for you.

MM