ANY Responses Appreciated!!

I have been treated for various mental illnesses for five years now and one year before that I did not recognize I had issues with stuff (but know that was the case looking back on it).

Antipsychotics don't do anything. Antidepressants are completely counterproductive and cause extreme mania and then eventually it's just a matter of timing of WHEN I will crash.

Everyone arounds me seemed to think I was great this last time when I was manic; but, the fact was I was making very bad decisions involving substances, sex, money, forgetting to eat, not eating enough or properly, altho the one thing I did do right was taking my meds (eventho they did not do what I had hoped they would). You get the picture. My point is I'm not on any psych meds now expcept half the amount of valium I was on than before bc I have extreme panic attacks/anxiety and take 5 mg am and pm. and the other being 100 mg of topamax which is a mood stabalizer. I have been on others which have not worked thus far. I have been manic and depressed sometimes at the same time even; but, can't decide which is worse.

Anyway was looking for advice:
Going to my pdoc's tomorrow... I've been thru a regiment of ECT in Feb... Is it worth asking about doing a like maintenance one?

I know it worked for a while. My worst complaints were headaches; but, for whatever reason I've been having bad ones anyway. The other was during treatment I had a hard time with memory as far as even repeating my phone number which my home number is hard to remember anyway for me for some reason...

Any suggestions are greatly appreciated...
Thanks so very much. Danielle
@)---------------

I totally think you should consider maintenance ECT. I had ECT several years ago and it helped me a lot. I got headaches from it, too, but they can pre-treat you with Advil, or give you a shot of Imitrex or something and that works great. My memory problems weren't too bad, just a little annoying, and they cleared up with time.

My psych is recommending the hospital for me right now, and he's mentioned ECT. If I can't get out of this funk any other way, I will do it. I think it's extremely courageous of you to be thinking proactively about how to help yourself before you get to the point where you don't care!! Best of luck!!

((((((((((Danielle))))))))

I'm sorry you're in such a bad place. As for advice, Just be honest with your pdoc. I've never had ECT before, so I'm not sure what that's like... I have been on topomax before, though. Maybe that's part of the reason your appetite is so low? I know for me, I never wanted to eat when I was on it. It might be worth asking your pdoc.

Whatever you end up doing, I wish you the best of luck in your treatment plan. Let us know what happens after you see your pdoc.

Take care,



J

Thankyou both for responding. I continue to make plans and trudge on trying to fight my urges. "Things are never what they seem" Always seems appropriate; no matter what with me. I have learned a lot despite going on 24 coming up in a couple weeks; but, it's a matter of fighting and doing things even when I don't want to. Like right now I know I am depressed. No question about it the whole "I feel like I'm bad or evil and deserve or need to be punished" type attitude etc. is ruling my mind. This should not be the case. Imotrex I've tried before and hasn't worked for regular migraines. They did give me something before in the iv before too. Yet I pretty much had to sleep and take ibuprofen as much as I could following treatments. I know I feel hopeless and all those tell tale signs of depression so I need to get going before I do something so severe that I can't fix. I hate being i the hospital and hate the idea of anything even longer. Want to contnue living on my own and want nothing more than to be happy and help others. I disagree with the nurse or other mental health type person that said "I care too much about ppl" and that "was half my problem" I am the type of person that makes me push that much harder to prove them wrong. Which turns out to be good in this case. I know what I need to do. I've been there too many times before. I wouldn't want to know the number of hospitalizations I've had over the five years I've been officially mi. Nor how much it's cost the state of Maine. I know just for labs to come back negative bc they did not believe me cost them 1800 dollars in one day. I'm lucky to have insurance. I will keep everyone posted and keep writing as always. It helps me and I'm sure everyone else it is the best way of communication sometimes; therapy for me.
((ALL))

Do you have a psychotherapist?

I know that medications never did anything positive for me...

Did you have your appointment? I hope it went well.

I had my ECT treatment done on Wed then one on friday. The one on friday the anesthesiologist allowed me 8 ml. or w/e they measure morphine in for the awful headaches I get that last forever for me with treatments for. It was enough to take the edge off. And even that was broken up into two parts. I have noticed that I have become somewhat more agitated and the like afterwards or short-tempered. I am also on 100 mg of topamax still (which is going to be increased at some point as well). The ECT treatments are going to continue for 4 more wednesdays and then on an as needed basis. I will keep responding and writing here because it helps as far as support and what not. Thanks all!

ECT has a 50% success rate. That's very good.Considering the results of the medications you have already tried. The topamax is a mood stabilizer but it is also a medication to avoid migraine headaches,usualy taken daily. Memory loss is normal side effect of ECT, but it's effects seem to influence only short-term memory. You have a lot to weigh and consider. I hope your decision relieves you of your pain.

Good Wishes, Always,
MLPHolmes

I had another treatment yesterday: after they were finally spread out to every 2 weeks instead of once a wk (like the first mo.)... so I have my next one somewhere around the 12th or thereabouts. The head nurse neglected to give me my paperwork and said that my ride had been given it so... I'll have to call for a date and the times are always scheduled the afternoon before. So, it seems to be doing the trick.

((((((((((Danielle))))))))