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Member
Member Since Jul 2008
Posts: 68
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Jul 29, 2008 at 02:13 PM
#1
Has anyone ever had multiple meaningless sexual and/or emotional affairs to attentuate the anxiety of an impending depression. I have and am having a terrible time kicking the habit, even though I love my wife and am in analysis, seeing a psychiatrist, a depression/bipolar support group, and Sex and Love addicts anonymous (not really what I think I am).... Any suggestions or flagilation for me? Please help.
Me. __________________ PSB |
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Q&A Leader
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Jul 29, 2008 at 02:20 PM
#2
Post deleted by DocJohn
__________________  Pegasus Got a quick question related to mental health or a treatment? Ask it here General Q&A Forum “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by it's ability to climb a tree, it will live it's whole life believing that it is stupid.” - Albert Einstein |
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Pandita-in-training
Member Since Sep 2006
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Jul 29, 2008 at 02:29 PM
#3
You are probably having a hard time kicking the habit thanks to how we're made; you're addicted to the "feelings" sex and/or affairs gives you like an emotional eater is to how certain foods make one feel better.
http://chemistry.about.com/cs/howthi...k/f/bllove.htm I would exercise/work out more (kind of like how taking a cold shower can help?) : http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/dep...ercise/MH00043 __________________ "Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius |
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Legendary
Member Since Jul 2008
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Jul 29, 2008 at 03:35 PM
#4
Hi HCab, I'm getting exhausted just watching you trying to run away from yourself.......
__________________ Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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Member
Member Since Jul 2008
Posts: 68
16 |
Jul 29, 2008 at 03:54 PM
#5
Actually, I running inside of myself, and am terrified at what I see. These post are to keep my sanity as I undergo the psychoanalytic scalpel peeling away layer after layer of what I thought was "me" without anesthetic. I am asking for support, pleading for it, in fact.
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Member
Member Since Jun 2008
Location: Minnesota ,twin cities
Posts: 119
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Jul 29, 2008 at 10:04 PM
#6
You know what? If you were mt therapist and didn't know anything about you and worshiped the ground you walk on (Like I do to my therapist) I'd freak out! I know you are human but gosh I thought you would be better at helping yourself. I do not want to be mean but maybe my therapist is more screwed up than me!
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Member
Member Since Jul 2008
Posts: 68
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Jul 29, 2008 at 11:24 PM
#7
Thanks for the kind and understanding response-i guess only certain types of people are allowed to ask for help. Why don't you try talking to me before making baseless and hurtful comments.
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jun 2007
Location: Ohio
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Jul 30, 2008 at 07:42 AM
#8
((((((((((Hcab_Tep))))))))))
Ouch! Everyone has the right to ask for and acknowledge the fact they need/want support. I too was feeling just as you are. After a moment of weakness, I posted my educational level and clinical expertise in a post. I too, was eaten alive. Sooooo maybe if a comment hurts, maybe it was just to close to home for comfort. That's how it was for me. Right now we need to focus on the fact we are human beings in need of support and not let our educational/clinical backgrounds get it the way. There is a lot of really great individuals here that want to support you. Just keep posting on a human level; open, honest and authentic. The support and understanding will just flow. Hugs and prayers-Angel __________________ Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul... Angel |
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Q&A Leader
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Jul 30, 2008 at 08:43 AM
#9
No, Angel, I didn't eat you alive, I just said that I was surprised you were asking a question about self-care, where self-care is the very basis for a good clinician. __________________ Pegasus Got a quick question related to mental health or a treatment? Ask it here General Q&A Forum “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by it's ability to climb a tree, it will live it's whole life believing that it is stupid.” - Albert Einstein |
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Legendary
Member Since Jul 2008
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Jul 30, 2008 at 09:04 AM
#10
You've got my support Hcab. Please don't be afraid of yourself! It will be okay if you just keep working. Have you considered doing any inner child work? I have seen people on these types of boards who have always disliked themselves, especially as children, because this is when their lives were the toughest (and when the adults in their lives were making them feel the worst about themselves). You cannot take care of yourself if you dislike your inner child. You must love and embrace your inner child and then you will be able to comfort and care for yourself and your fears will be much more conquorable.
__________________ Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
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Jul 30, 2008 at 09:41 AM
#11
 
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Member
Member Since Jul 2008
Posts: 68
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Jul 30, 2008 at 11:42 AM
#12
Thanks, Sannah, Angel, and Perna. I have gone old school...basically ALMOST traditional psychoanalysis with an object relations focus rather than CBT or anything else because I do know that I have been doing this sort of thing since I was a teenager. The narcissism is falling away day by day, hour by hour...my specialty is aging and stress and ptsd, not depression or addiction.
And that woman's post hurt for two reasons: a) of course it is close to home and b) this is a support group, not a beat down group and I was trying to be open and honest and let everyone in... I just want to thank you all again...and despite my present apparent craziness, I can be very insiteful and helpful for anyone who asks... Best, Peter __________________ PSB |
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Legendary
Member Since Jul 2008
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Jul 30, 2008 at 03:21 PM
#13
Hey Hcab, I don't know how I missed your post all day! How long have you been doing traditional psychoanalysis?
__________________ Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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Member
Member Since Jul 2008
Posts: 68
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Jul 30, 2008 at 03:30 PM
#14
Hi Sannah (and btw, my real name is Peter)...for about three months now. Why do you ask?
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Legendary
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Jul 30, 2008 at 03:50 PM
#15
Peter, just my opinion but I feel that there are quicker ways to get better.
__________________ Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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Member
Member Since Jul 2008
Posts: 68
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Jul 30, 2008 at 04:04 PM
#16
I certainly agree. But CBT or anything that I had done or tried before was not the answer for this. This is deeply rooted and hard to disentangle from the depression, anxiety, and dysthymia. The maladaptive behaviors have stopped...now it is just getting to the why and the rebuilding...the really hard and really important stop. Rebuilding the ego, as it were.
PSB __________________ PSB |
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Member
Member Since Jul 2008
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Jul 30, 2008 at 04:06 PM
#17
Did I leave you out of my thank yous? I'm sorry...
Peter __________________ PSB |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jun 2007
Location: Ohio
Posts: 3,527
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Jul 30, 2008 at 05:04 PM
#18
Hang in here, we're all on the same team. We're all here to support you and each other. This is a great place with great people.
Hugs-Angel __________________ Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul... Angel |
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Member
Member Since Jul 2008
Posts: 68
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Jul 30, 2008 at 06:51 PM
#19
The habit is kicked...now it is the rebuilding of ego strength while figuring out what/why I was compelled. And dealing with the depression (mine), the anxiety (mine), and hurt feelings (all around me). Oh, and remembering that there is a good decent caring Peter (me, by the way) underneath all the muck.
PSB __________________ PSB |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jun 2007
Location: Ohio
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Jul 30, 2008 at 09:05 PM
#20
You have my support.
Angel __________________ Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul... Angel |
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