[romanjames2004]

OMG

So....twomonths ago (July 19th,. 2008) I told my mom how I had thoughs of suicide and how I was feeling depressed for 5 years now. She drove me to the ER and they sent me to the Psyc ward and placed me in the care of a Dr. he was a great doctor, and he diagnosed me with General Anxiety Disorder, OCD, and Major depression. because i was 17 the day i went in the doctor asked my mom if he could prescribe med s and she saind NO. So... the day I turned (July 21st, 2008) 18 I go into full day therapy (9am-3pm). this was great because i couldent take any medicationa and my whole life that was bottled up inside me was released throuygh therapy. After 1 1/2 weeks of the 6 week therapy my insurance company tells me that because im not on any meds, i they won't pay for the therapy there. So I had to find a new therapist and start alll over again. My doctor told me that college will be good for me and that ill help my self. I saw a therapist for 3 sessioons and could not afford that and had to go off to college. now I have been in college for 6 weeks and fell horrible. I can't make any friends, i cant find any privacy and because the interent here sucks i have been closed off from most of the world. I don't have acar. I feel even worse than ever. i miss my family, and even though i see family every weekend. i just was happier (sorry to say) when i was in highschool.I liked hs alot more than college, though it was harder i liked it better. I dont know I hate going to be every night feeling like i just dont want to live and that the whole world is strange to me. I have my music but it just brings back memories that make me feel like i just want to crawl into my shell and cry and then go to sleep. I also have a hard time waking up every single day for class. And I am eating too much. though i work out i hate going to do that too.

i really want to stay in college because i need it to get a job. I just want my old life back. even though it was not the best i just cant stand all the change i have gone through in the past year.

thanks for letting me vent. i just have no therapy or meds to rely on so im dealing with this stuff all on my own. If you need to find more just read my profile thing or email me to find out more. thanks for readiing

Roman James

[silver_moon]

((((((((roman james))))))))

[CedarS]

Transition to college can be rough for many of us. Does your college have a counseling center? I got really good therapy that way when in college myself.