[bren]

but I have read a lot of the posts. Sometimes I just don't know what to say, so I don't say anything at all.

I made it through Thanksgiving without a hitch. I also made it through my 39th birthday, and managed to keep my spirits up. I now face another Christmas. If it weren't for my in-laws, I would have been scraping bottom again.

You would think that since I come from a family of 10 kids, and God only knows how many in the next two generations, that I would be surrounded by family all the time. Nope, not me, I am the family nut, so I depend on my hubby's family. I talk to my therapist about my family, and he agrees that I am not the only one who needs counseling. He has asked me several times if I was sure that I am the only one that has ever been hospitalized. The more I stay away from my family, the better I am.
Don't get me wrong, I love them very much, and would be devastated if I lost any of them, but mentally I do better if I love them from afar.
I am the youngest in the family, and when I get with them I am treated like the "baby". It does not matter that I am nearly 40. It does not matter that I am the mother of three adult sons (step sons). It does not matter that I have been married for almost 10 years. I will always be their baby sister.
At one point of my mental illness, they all got together without me or my husband, and had a meeting about what to do with me. EXCUSE ME!!!!! I was so pissed!!! I believe I was 36 at the time...you know an adult. Exactly what did they think they could do. Exorcize my demons away. They have the understanding and compassion of a flea.

My in-laws are nothing like that though. They don't understand it totally, but they don't treat me any different either. They treat me like I have nothing wrong with me, yet when they don't understand what is going on with me, they talk openly to me.
It is funny , when I do go to the hospital, for any reason, they ask for a contact person other than my husband because he is not always available. I used to put down my sister, but now I put down my MIL or my FIL.

Anyway, things have been going fairly well for me. I had therapy the other day, and we spent most of our session talking about my hubby, and laughing about some little things. It was a good light hearted session, which is a good thing just before the holiday. I tend to take my therapy home with me, and if it is too emotional, I will not survive that ontop of the holiday.

[silver_queen]

I'm glad things are going better for you, and I hope they stay that way!

[kimmydawn]

i'm glad things are going well for you. it seems that you've come to alot of realizations in t that are necessary.

i understand about in-laws being a more trusted family than birth familly. it's that way here as well.

i wish you well through the holidays.

kd

[lenjan]

Bren, OMG, can I ever relate to you. My sibs are 8, 10, 12 and 13 years older than me. I am also 39. Every time one of them introduces me to someone, they say, "This is my little sister." I am never not going to be 5 years old, as far as they're concerned. It's something I finally had to learn to deal with.

However, things have started turning around in the last year. They include me more. When I was in the loony bin in Feb. for being suicidal, the one I am least close to called me daily, and then emailed me at least a couple times a week for a while to see how I was. They invited me on a sisters-only weekend in April, around my birthday. They've been actually pretty supportive. So I guess there's hope, but it took a long darn time coming and I'm still wary of it. I like my family of choice a lot better than my family of origin, for the most part.

I'm glad you have people outside your birth family you can count on too.

Candy