One of the last of my "good friends" told me this morning that he's moved on from me now. That he only ever wanted to just be friends with "me", and not an entire pack of people.

It hurts. I can't hold it against him. People move on. This is why I should build walls and not trust, because in the end, everyone I trust leaves or betrays me.

So he's "moved on". He said he didn't need our friendship, and he hopes I respect his choice. I see what friends I have left, if they're even friends, all laugh and joke with each other and I think I just realized today that none of them really need me. I guess it's a matter of time before they all tell me they've all moved on. They've come to something else better and they don't need my baggage or me.

I shouldn't care, good for them, but I feel so alone and weak I'm not needed at all to them, I'm not valued. Does trust mean nothing anymore?

I did not need this today. He could have just waited a week or something to tell me this, but today

[Blue93]

((((((((we care)))))))))))))

[reddevil]

^seconded.

He doesn't sound like someone who was worth having in your life anyway Griffe.

Everyone here thinks you have value, and I think your friends would miss you if you weren't there.

[gimmeice]

((((((( griffe )))))))) I am sorry that this person has put you through this pain, you are a good person.

[free2beme]

((((((( griffe ))))))))
you still matter and are important to us.

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((((( griffe ))))))))))))))
I'm sorry this person did that. You matter to us here

[Sannah]

I am sorry Griffe, you are very valuable to me......

[kebsfroggy]

I can understand your feelings of hurt by people you considered friends. But it doesn't help to build walls and not trust people. The only loser in that situation is you, that I know.

As a frog of little brain may I mention one small thing ....
You've got us.
Ok Ok Ok so no academy award winners here but ....
How many people IRL can say they are friends with this wide variety of characters and alter egos.

It gets very lonely when you are not around.
Besides I need you to help me kick butt in games.

[nightbird]

Hi Griffe,

I think if you build trust and not walls ... more people can come into your life.

Trust more in yourself, and you can bet your bottom dollar that people will be happy for you IRL, and if they aren't, then they lose.

We only visit with others, we live with ourselves. It is okay to have people come and go, when we are okay within ourselves because we need people to share with, not posess, or hold desperately on to (as I may have done in the past).

Think about how new people bring new experiences, and the ones who have been around (they are golden) sometimes need to retire themselves from others ... or move on as you noted ... or self protect ... or fill in the blank.

It hurts for awhile when we feel left behind, but it is a feeling, not the reality.

I try to look at it like we now have room for others to visit us for awhile.

Some will stay a lifetime, some are just passing through.

It's our past experiences of hurt that make it a negative thing.
Not to worry ... it's okay.

We are all on our own paths, so trust yourself, and feel better soon. Don't forget to hold your head up high, Dear Person.

You are changing, and that is a good thing. So am I. So are many of us. We are on our way - where exactly, who knows, but to feel better tomorrow than we did yesterday - in the best of circumstances to hope for.

Love and support,
night

xoxoxoxo

Hey griffe, haven't been on in a while and only just saw this message but i am glad i did see this.

Some of the earlier posters put this perfectly- not trusting wont help anything. Was the upset of him moving on so bad that you wish you had never had him as a friend at all? and also, not everyone leaves- although it may feel like it. people do drift apart and realise that friendships are wrong for them etc. but the ones that actually matter will definitely stick through the hard times for you.
i know a friend saying that to you has to be extremely painful and must shake your trust in your other friends but try not to let it. Friendship isn't really about 'needing' someone. Friendship is when you care about someone and they care about you- accepting both your attributes and downfalls. I have many friends i don't 'need' so to speak but i would never want to lose them because i care about them and let's face it- something had to have attracted me to them in the first place so they must have something about them that i really like.
As everyone else has already said; "we care". and we do. i know i haven't had much access to the comp lately or anything but i am always thinking about you and hoping you are okay.
feeling lonely is a horrible feeling but you do have people who would do a lot for you. think of kate

Thanks everyone. It just gets hard- who is a friend, who isn't, who do I trust, who will stay with me in the long run. It's hard to see that someone who meant something to me doesn't care about me He used to say "I care", and I trusted him as a friend, and look where that got me. Hard to hold my head high when I feel like I am dirt.

Appreciate you all.

[nightbird]

Try something on for size, Dear Griffe.

Maybe you are the one who must pass through peoples lives - be there awhile - and move on.

We usually do not have very solid relationships (except for the rare ones) until we have a better understanding of what we are looking for, what we need, and are aware of our behaviors.

Once we learn to trust in ourselves ..(because we know what we have done, can do, will do, and might be able to do) ... others can trust us in return to the level we can handle.

Try this for a few days ... mull it around ... and see if it doesn't say something to you.

If it doesn't, no harm - no foul, keep looking for answers.

love and peace,
night

xoxox

[kebsfroggy]

This is a quote from the movie A Beautiful Mind. It won't ease your pain or make you feel better about what happened. It just provides a different way of looking at it.

Friends are an integral part of your life, but every friend you have must live life at their own pace. When the time comes & they must leave you, there is no need to grieve over their parting from your life. It is the very essence of life that it should be so. But it hurts nonetheless and we grieve nonetheless, but we hold them in our hearts forever. Always cherish the joy, laughter, memories and love that they have brought into your lives. Always remember them with a warm smile for what they have given you.

We are always here for you.

[turquoisesea]

It always makes me sad when friends leave. I'm not very trusting at all. I've holed up so much. And that doesn't work. I'm not sure exactly what does but lots of my problems stem from a lack of ability to trust in people. For me it's also communication - I don't trust people enough to tell them what's wrong, or how upset I am about things.

2 of my best friends left me a few months ago. One was an online friend, who I haven't seen - easier to ignore. The other, a friend who I used to hang out with every day starting 2 years ago. Then suddenly, almost 2 years into our friendship- we met first week freshman year.... I get a boyfriend. And he decides he can't talk to me anymore. Or anything. And he's gone.

I helped him as much as I could - I helped him through a breakup with his girlfriend right before he decided not to accept my presence anymore. There's be nights I needed sleep but I knew he needed someone to talk to.

As a friend - I'm there for them.
Him leaving, them leaving hurts.

I'm sorry for what you have lost. It's not fair to you, but it happens. Friendships are between two people and, sadly, if one person leaves the other is stuck with an empty spot.

I don't know how to make it better - I don't think I can, but do remember, there are lots of people around you in the world, and alot of people who could be really good friends - if you open to door to them

*smacks myself for not following my own advice/trying to hide* but I wish you luck
and lots and lots of hugs



I guess in a way no one is truly alone - just isolated, often our own doing.