Mum doesn't care

Last night i had a fight with my mum. I stayed home yesterday and didnt go to school coz i had an important assignment that i didnt finish that was due. my mum said i could stay home as long as im working on it all day - which i did. the kitchen was a mess and i didnt realise coz i was in my room all day working on this assignment, she comes home and full on screams at my face coz i didnt clean the kitchen. i explained to her i was in my room doing my work and she said stop being so selfish, and threw something in the kitchen sink. she is still pissed off at me and grounded me for the weekend. its really unfair coz they never get my sister to do anything and when i told her that she said, stop trying to even out everything. but its so unfair that my sister gets to sit round and watch tv all day when im nearly finishing school and shes like 13.

Later last night i tried to tell my mum i've been depressed lately and that i have to see the counciler coz my friends got so worried. i told her in a nice way that the way she pressures me about school is wrong, and she said, im a good parent, every family would do this, if you cant handle it i dont kno why your at school. then i told her i dont want to be here anymore, as in i dont want to be alive anymore, and she took it as i want to move out and she said, fine if you want move out i dont care. she also said if your seeing the counciler coz of pressure its stupid and you need to snap out of it.

My own mother doesnt care. If she doesnt then what hope have i got? I was so close to killing my self yesterday, the only reason why i didnt was because i didnt want to do it wrong and still be alive. I dont even want to try to talk to her again after what she said, it hurts soo much

My mother was the same way with me when I was around your age. Listen, and try to understand a few things.

First, she's likely at an age where things are starting to get rough emotionally for her too. It doesn't make sense to us growing up, but when women hit menopause, things get a little iffy. My mother hit it as I was hitting puberty. The clash was MOST unpleasant. We both were emotional ticking time bombs waiting to explode (and we often did). I don't know exactly how old your mother is, but this is a possibility. I wouldn't bring it up with her, because that will likely just make her even more upset.

Second, parents sometimes will exercise an unnecessary degree of control on you because they've had a rough day at work. You're most in danger of this right when they get home. This usually tends to happen when they have a rough day with their superior. Since they can't control that, they come home and take out their anger and frustration on things they *can* control, namely their kids. It's not fair, and it's really not right. The best thing you could learn to do in that situation is to let things go in one ear and out the other until they leave and calm down.

It seems to you that they really don't care. Believe me, they really do. The problem is, they were bred to believe that caring is shown in a different way than we need it. My parents didn't understand that what they were doing just made me more and more depressed. To this day, they still don't get it. I DEFINITELY recommend seeing a counselor, because parents will be more likely to believe it when an adult says something will be better for you than hearing it from their own kids. Parents generally want the best thing for you, so it's ironic that in cases like these, they tend to do the absolute WORST thing for you, because they're trying to be a "good parent." It's kind of a selfish thing from their spot.

In the meantime, try to find ways for yourself to "escape" in your own house. Make a special place in your room where nobody can touch you, and fill it with things that are special to you. If you want to talk about it some more, feel free to PM me, because I've been there before! Good luck with everything, and take care!

~TheDeliciousDish

I had a post composed to you, hit sumbit and it disappeared. Dish has said a lot that needs to be given thought to, but I'd like to add the next time you are feeling suicidal you must--MUST--call for help. Call 911 or whatever emergency services you have, call a crisis center, I can help you find numbers in your area, call an adult you trust, call a pastor or priest, call for help. You are too important to not be here.

((( jessica12 )))

I believe your mum truly cares in her heart, but she doesn't know how to show it. She doesn't know what to do. So she wants to act as if someone could 'snap out of' an emotional state, or a need for help with dealing with pressure.

It's really good that you have learned that it's good to ask for help. I'm sorry she doesn't see the value in receiving help. If you can, get to the counselor and talk to him/her about the things your mom isn't able to talk about.

((((((((((((( Jessica )))))))))))))) I am sorry that you are going through this, sometimes parents are in denial that we may need help from someone other then them. I also agree that you should seek the help of a therapist.

Ohhh, Im sorry :[
Your mom seems like she's in denial maybe, that you have real issues. Its not worth killing yourself over though, and I speak from first hand expirience. It does nothing more than make everything chaotic, and as you said, you may not succeed.