[IsLifeWorthLiving?]

Maybe the real issue that i am having is that i have no idea how i really feel about anything anymore. one big thing happened to me about 3 months ago. i could describe it about 5 different ways, and each sound completly different. blame going out to different people. when i was at fault, different emotions were behind my decisions. i just became confused. and never got over it.

I want nothing more in the world than to rrewind time. to fix my life.

A girl caused all of this. wether it was her fault or not, i dont truly know. for some reason, i love her. I need her to be my friend. even though i cry at night because of her, she can still make me smile.

So i put on an act. no one seems to notice. maybe because it was after only a month at a new school that my life changed so dramatically. but i thought she would notice.

and maybee she did.

maybe she didnt care.

maybe she was hurt to.

we used to be best friends. for about a month. we both started the same new school together, met on the first day. it was an immediant friendship. we could laugh about nothing and then laugh harder because of it.

now she is best friends with another girl.a girl i cant help but dislike because of it all. for a while, i didnt know how to talk to my friend anymore.

now we are becoming friends again. we are slowly but surely rebuilding the bond that held us so close together.

i just dont know if i want to.

i want to be best friends with her more than anything inthe world.

at the same time, i wish i had the strength to never speak to her again.

....

[lifelesstraveled]

Originally Posted by IsLifeWorthLiving?

Maybe the real issue that i am having is that i have no idea how i really feel about anything anymore. one big thing happened to me about 3 months ago. i could describe it about 5 different ways, and each sound completly different. blame going out to different people. when i was at fault, different emotions were behind my decisions. i just became confused. and never got over it.


I want nothing more in the world than to rrewind time. to fix my life.

A girl caused all of this. wether it was her fault or not, i dont truly know. for some reason, i love her. I need her to be my friend. even though i cry at night because of her, she can still make me smile.

So i put on an act. no one seems to notice. maybe because it was after only a month at a new school that my life changed so dramatically. but i thought she would notice.

and maybee she did.

maybe she didnt care.

maybe she was hurt to.

we used to be best friends. for about a month. we both started the same new school together, met on the first day. it was an immediant friendship. we could laugh about nothing and then laugh harder because of it.

now she is best friends with another girl.a girl i cant help but dislike because of it all. for a while, i didnt know how to talk to my friend anymore.

now we are becoming friends again. we are slowly but surely rebuilding the bond that held us so close together.

i just dont know if i want to.

i want to be best friends with her more than anything inthe world.

at the same time, i wish i had the strength to never speak to her again.

....

I am not quite sure what happened to you, but I see you are maybe on the fence as to whether or not you want a friendship with this person? Are you upset, confused as to why this girl didnt notice? Is there someone you can talk to about this?

[realblade]

Have you tried talking to her about this ? Maybe, as you say, she didn't notice how much she hurt you.

[IsLifeWorthLiving?]

i have talked to her, and she knows she hurt me. I just dont know wether she is really sorry or not.

i really cant talk to anyone about this. i have one really good friend-who lives in a different state. she is a great friend, but i know everything she is going to say before she says it. plus, on the internet, she can't tell when i lie.