[shinesdomain]

I am a 27 year old guy who never had a good childhood. My dad passed away wen i was 10 years old and ever since our family have been completely apart. THough I had my sister, brother & mom with me, we never used to have a bonding between us. Our lives were completely conrolled by my uncles and their famlies who treated us with disrespect. My mom was also a puppet in their hands and they all humiliated me all these years. I was a very lonely kid who never had anyone to talk to and love when I really craved for friends and people who could really console me. This went on for years and I became a very inferior being in front of my own eyes. 3 years back I met a girl with whom I got close to and she was a relief for me. I cried out my feelings and my lonliness to her and she supported me. I gave her all the love that I had and I could see that I was cared for and I had her as a suport in every way. In these 3 years, i completely changed my lifestyle, moulded myself for her and kept her at the top of my life. I knew she was made for me and we discussed marriage and she was willing. We started living in together. We were blindly in love with each other. She used to miss her parents very badly and always used to cry about tht. Me loving her so much and wanting to see her happy, sent her back home and arranged a job for her there. Then things started getting out of control. She got married to another guy as her parents wanted her to marry someone from the same religion. I was heartbroken. But since she wasnt interested in tht guy, we still saw each other. I still loved her and in a years time she promised everyday me tht she will get out of that marriage. I tried whatever is possible from my side to keep her happy. A couple of months back, she just went back to her husband and started ignoring me. I was devastated. I knew that she was again doing this for her "Family". But this time she told me that she isnt cominh back. She purely ignores me and I am again in the same old condition that I was in 3.5 years back. I am once again lonely. I go back to her begging to come back and show some care for me, but she tells me that she cant do anything. I know that she is unwillingly wasting her life. I am mentally so depressed and has become so emotional. My problems have now only multiplied. Its very obvious that she is ignoring me. I dont know what to do. Everyday I kill myself in one way or the other. I have cared so much for her and still do small small deeds to keep her happy. but she purely ignores me. Evn if she talks to me, she wants to end the conversation quickly. I have come back to my previous state. I have a lot of "Friends" around me....but noone ever understands or helps me.

[Greg77733]

I am just saying what I think, know that you at backhomefind some one who loves you. Not the person you are willing to changetoo. I think some therapy for your depression would help. Just don't rush things. Get over her, work on your dep. chill a little and see what might come your way. Be good to yourself.