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#1
Dec 07, 2008, 10:50 PM
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Today is the birthday of my boyfriend.He passed away 18 years ago. My birthday is tomorrow.
 I still cry when I hear songs that remind me of him.He was the love of my life. We had so many good times and we had bad times, but we always held on for the ride. I have never met anyone else like him. I wonder, does anyone think it is strange that I still cry over him? No one can ever take the memories of our lives together.It just seems as if I should have moved on. Can anyone tell me if this is natural ? I did date after he passed away, but now due to my depression, I don't think it is fair to try to date anyone. any advice, welcome. Thanks for listening.  
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#2
Dec 07, 2008, 11:55 PM
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 you need a big hug! that was a tremendous loss for you 18 years ago. he must have been a very special person. i don't think it's strange that you sometimes cry when you hear songs that remind you of him. it was a happy time of your life and reflecting back on that time can do this to anyone. my father died when i was young and some music can evoke those same feelings in me. be kind to yourself though and know that someone else may be "waiting" for you out there.. your uniqueness, your personality. i don't know how bad your depression is but i wonder if you're not being too harsh on youself when you say "it's not fair to date anyone." could even some of your depression be stemmed from the loss of companionship? just brainstorming here but i wonder. i hope your birthday tomorrow has some brighter moments for you and Happy Birthday! 
__________________
Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle. The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand |
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#3
Dec 08, 2008, 06:32 AM
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((((((((((((( sassypants ))))))))))))))))))))
I don't think it is odd that you still cry over your loss. Do you have a T to work on these kind of things with? Therapy can be very helpful in treating depression.
__________________
 Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You, too? Thought I was the only one." C.S. Lewis visit my blog at http://gimmeice.psychcentral.net |
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#4
Dec 08, 2008, 08:45 PM
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Thank you both for giving me some advice,I really appreciate it. I usually don't post anything, because hardly anyone replies. I have tried about 7 different T's and so far, I haven't found any help. I have major depression and I have tried several med's for the last 7 years.I have a very hard time getting up, I usually want to sleep all day.I see my pysch. dr. tomorrow for my usual follow up. Thanks again fo listening. God Bless
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#5
Dec 08, 2008, 09:04 PM
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Quote:
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#6
Dec 08, 2008, 09:36 PM
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i don't think its odd for you to still cry for this person you obviously loved so much!!! heck, makes me sad just thinking of you sad because you lost some one you cared so deeply for!!! never ever let anyone - or yourself - make you feel bad or tell you it's wrong to miss someone!! i'm sure he's smiling down from heaven wishing he could give you a hug. i'm sure he also wants you to be happy!
(((((BigHugs))))) btw...you mentioned meds. i tried a gazillion different meds for years. finally found one that worked. it worked for several years. then kinda seemed not to work so well. so another was added, which was helping (till i ran outta money to pay for them! doh!). don't give up!
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#7
Dec 08, 2008, 09:42 PM
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oh yeah! sorry i'm a bit dense sometimes!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY to you! i throw a pizza party for you!!!        we'll play games 'n eat pizza 'n drink soda 'n eat cake 'n ice cream 'n apparently we gonna spin on our head too!
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#8
Dec 09, 2008, 11:09 AM
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*hugs* if I lost my boyfriend...
 it's ok to still miss him
__________________
 Yesterday I was so clever, so I want to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself. |
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#9
Dec 23, 2008, 11:43 PM
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Thanks to everyone who put a comment in. I really appreciate it. Sorry, it took such a long time to get back. I have my Mom staying with me, she keeps denying that she has depression, so I am making sure she stays on her med's.To make matters worse, her doctor bluntly told me, she might have lung cancer. We will not know until after the holidays. I hope she doesn't have it.All I want for christmas is that my Mom gets a clean bill of health. God bless, and Merry christmas. Have a happy, healthy new yr.
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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