[justfloating]

I want to sleep. All the time. I know this is part of the depression, I know that the wanting to sleep gets worse when I'm in a low spell, but this is getting ridiculous.

It doesn't matter what I'm doing. Sitting in class. Having coffee with a friend. Talking to my parents. Eating a meal. All I ever want to do is sleep!! It's not even that I'm tired. I hate it when I sleep all day, just because I wake up thinking, "Great, now I won't get to sleep tonight." I think it's that I need to be unconscious. I need to not be thinking anymore. Everything gets to be too much, and I can't stand the thoughts going round and round inside my head, and I feel like I'm just going to explode if I don't do something, so in a sense I think by going to sleep I just "shut myself off" so that my brain doesn't explode.

I've overdosed twice on sleeping pills -- I didn't really mean to do it, and I wasn't trying to hurt myself, but I wanted to sleep so badly -- that I didn't pay attention to how much I took. When I was home, my dad imposed strict "sleeping times" -- he'd wake me up at 9 and wouldn't let me so much as lay down on the couch before 11. But it just made me anxious and weepy if I couldn't shut my eyes and just turn away from life for a while. I was happy to get back to school just because I'd be able to sleep whenever I wanted. It makes me feel guilty, because when he calls (and wakes me up at 1 o'clock in the afternoon) I lie and tell him I'm sticking to his schedule even though I'm not.

I should probably go to bed now. I want to. But I didn't get up until 3 this afternoon and I don't want to lie in the dark stuck with nothing but my thoughts. I'm not really looking for any replies, I just needed to vent a little.

[gimmeice]

((((((((((( justfloating ))))))))))))))

Are you seeing a T? Does your doctor know that you want to sleep all the time? It sounds like you need to talk with someone about this, maybe they can help. I don't know if you are currently on meds or not but there are meds that can help depression.

[kaytibear]

I sleep all the time too to shut things off. I agree about needing to see a pdoc or t about this . Maybe there is something they can do to help youHang in there

Kayti

[justfloating]

thanks gimmeice and kaytibear

I am on meds and seeing a counsellor. The meds have started kicking in, I think, but sleep is still an issue whenever I have a low spell. I think it's become a coping mechanism for me to sleep whenever things get to be too much. I'm working on different strategies with my counsellor, and I have an appointment to see the doctor coming up so I can update her on what's going on.

Thanks for your support.

[yutzman]

I hear ya how about some pizza?