why they say it is your depression

why do the people in your life and the men in your life say the way you are is because of your depression and your pills or you not taking pills. you know what. most of the times it isn't that. it isn't our depression or our pills or not taking pills to make us better. it is them. it is those who hurt us. it is life its self.

my man in my life is saying the way i am is because my depression and not taking pills that is making me the way i am. noooooooooooooooooooooo.

it is him, and those who hurt me and many more. not my depression. and coming at me and pushing me and yelling at me not helping at all.

do you feel the same way i do. let me know. i am so sick of those who think it is but don't know what they are talking about.

I'm so sorry you feel misunderstood! *HUGS*

Thats why it ticks me off when I have a bad day my mom always yells at me "DID YOU TAKE YOUR MEDS" I don't understand why people can't figure out that it is not always that.

My ex, the father of my little girl, he always blamed me for the fights, for anything... even now, a long time after splitting up, he still believes that he is innocent of everything and it was down to me and my depression... he told me recently that he resents the fact that I didn't begin taking meds until after we had split up. I had to try to explain to him that even if I had started taking meds back then, I would still have fallen out of love and the realtionship would still have ended. We'd have had the same fights, the same disappointments, the same highs, the same laughs, the same lows, the same tears. I probably would have dealt with things a lot better, had I been on my meds back then, but ultimately, the outcome was inevitable.

I have also had to endure cutting remarks from my mum too - I now try to ignore it and not let it upset me, she doesn't understand it all but hopefully one day, she will. Or rather, hopefully one day I'll be better and there won't be an issue!

The people in my life always assume that it's down to depression every time I'm pissed off about something, every time I'm upset. They're worng, of course, but they just don't understand.

This is new to me, I just found this website today, after having yet another really bad day. I am so tired of blaming myself for everything that goes wrong;it seems like nothing I do is ever good enough for myself or for anyone else. When I tried to talk to my husband, his impatient reply was "you said you were going to get some help last time you freaked out" as if to say, "Here we go again..."

unbelieveble!! is it any wonder we hide our problems when this is how people react?

ack, I'm sorry people are treatin' ya like that.

(((((lostangel)))))

((((((((((LOSTANGEL))))))))))

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>

it isn't our depression or our pills or not taking pills to make us better. it is them. it is those who hurt us. it is life its self.

my man in my life is saying the way i am is because my depression and not taking pills that is making me the way i am. noooooooooooooooooooooo.

it is him, and those who hurt me and many more. not my depression. and coming at me and pushing me and yelling at me not helping at all.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Hi Lost Angel:

I see 2 separate issues in this post.

I agree with that people can say hurtful and unhelpful things to us because of their ignorance. I have had to draw a boundary, and even cut a friendship out of my life, because of it. When we can't do that -- as in the case of your man or my mom -- I guess all we can try to do is remember that it comes from ignorance. It's very hard for people who haven't experienced depression to understand it -- to them, it's just "sadness" that we've given into, a personal weakness on our parts.

I disagree with the idea that "it is him, and those who hurt me and many more" who cause the depression -- if I've interpreted what you wrote accurately. I disagree for two reasons:

1. Other people also run into disappointments in life, into people not treating them as they'd like, and genuine crises and tragedies -- and yet, they are not depressed.

2. I believe that therapy and cognitive therapy can work to help us better understand what triggers our pain and to develop strategies to deal with it more effectively. If we can learn a different response, this suggests that it is we, not the others, who are responsible for how we respond to life.

I'm sorry that you're feeling so badly, Lost Angel. I know what that's like.

((((((((((((((((LostAngel))))))))))))))))))

I hate when people assume they know what's going on or think they understand when they really don't. I'm either told I'm on too many meds and if I'd cut them back I'd feel better or just blame it on my BP. Sometimes it is my BP, but a lot of times it's the people in my life and how they effect me with their actions or words. I'm extremely sensitive so it doesn't take much to send me plunging down.

(((((((((((((lostangel))))))))))

Welcome to the forums chico. I know all about blaming myself. I think a lot of us do that from time to time. It doesn't help when we don't have the support from those around us.

(((((((((((((chico))))))))))

i understand where you are coming from but i feel those in my life are the ones who make me the way i am. my mom, my friends, my man, and me. that is how i feel and that is what happen to me. maybe not you but me.

yes...

thank you . i am glad someone knows what i am feeling. it is like it is ok for them to feel but not us. i am so sick of this. and it is true they don't understand or wish not to understand. they say we have the problems not them or they say we don't talk to a doctor or we need pills...fk..i did both and didn't work for me. me thinking about what is going on and talking to those who hurt me and or sitting quiet or coming on here helps me.

thanks for the reply. i was beginning to wonder if anyone was out there. i am feeling much better today. i have made a list of what is important to me & what needs to be done, so i don't feel so overwhelmed. i also had a very long, frank discussion with my husband & shared my "quiz" results with him. i think for the first time he realized how serious this has become & that i don't just have the "blues". he is helping me make plans to get better & have hope that tomorrow will be a better day. i must remember to look forward & not backwards;learn from mistakes, but not to dwell on them. i know i have a long ways to go & many more bad days to come. but the sun is shining today & it has been a much better day than yesterday, so i have hope, and sometimes that is enough to get us through the day. thanks for listening. i hope someone else has a better day tomorrow.

thanks for the note. had a really bad day yesterday, but feeling better today. we must all cling to hope that tomorrow can be a better day. we must take each day as it comes & continue to move forward, not backwards. that is how i feel when i start sliding into a depressive episode, like i am falling backwards into a deep, dark hole. today i see light & i'm trying to climb out of the darkness. we must keep trying to hang on to hope & not blame ourselves when life gets so hard that we just want to hide under the covers. sometimes it is ok to be weak, and i guess that is what is so hard for me to accept. i have always been strong, but in the last several years i feel myself growing weaker & not able to fight the depression as well as i once could.

i was married to someone who always said "it's just in your head".......he self-medicated with alcohol!!! welcome to the forums.....pat

You know i was with someone who was the same way with me too. he would alway say it is you not me or it is in your head. you have the problem not me and so on and so on. even my mom can be that way too. even the guy i am with now can be that way too sometimes. i told it isn't my depression it is something else. i hate when those who don't understand point it at something else and not listen. all we want is someone to listen.