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Magnate
Member Since Nov 2008
Location: in the glitch inside my brain
Posts: 2,160
15 |
Apr 05, 2009 at 03:07 PM
#1
For the past week and a half, whenever I can, I have been knocking myself out (inducing sleep) by overmedicating. I just want to be unconscious. That way I can escape all my thoughts, moods, feelings--especially FEAR. I don't even mind nightmares. At least, when I wake up, I can say--"it was only a dream"
I want to die. I am afraid to die. I am afraid because it would destroy my mom if i died. I am afraid because I don't know what death is like. I am afraid because i don't know if i can control myself. I am afraid of life. I am afraid of germs. I am afraid of people. I am afraid of taking a yoga class, for god sakes! I am afraid for no reason at all. I am just afraid and my heart hurts literally and figuratively, for no reason. What the hell is wrong with me???????? |
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Wise Elder
Member Since Sep 2007
Location: Colorado
Posts: 9,092
16 41 hugs
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Apr 05, 2009 at 04:38 PM
#2
Berries, sending so many hugs. I'm sorry you're feeling like this. Please consider what you might need to take care of yourself - if you need to be admitted to make sure you're ok please do it.
You're having a rough time. Please try to stay awake. Escaping thoughts is not the answer. Maybe right now you need a break, but overmedicating is dangerous, please don't do it that way. do you have a professional you can call? At the very least they can give you sleep meds? __________________  Yesterday I was so clever, so I want to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself. |
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 Capp
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Member
Member Since Mar 2009
Location: USA
Posts: 336
15 |
Apr 05, 2009 at 04:56 PM
#3
(((((((((Berries)))))))))
I am so sorry to hear you are feeling this way. Feeling so bad you would rather sleep constantly is nowhere I want to go back to. Overmedicating yourself is very dangerous...please stop. I definitely agree with tourquois...call some kind of pdoc and get some help. I know for me....the more I slept, the more I wanted to sleep. It is a vicious cyle you have to take control over. Sending lots of well wishes your way 
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Capp
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Member
Member Since Mar 2009
Location: fairbanks,alaska
Posts: 171
15 116 hugs
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Apr 05, 2009 at 07:57 PM
#4
berries...find help...call someone...get into a safe place until your crisis is over..and you can think more clearly....your really in need of professional help...seek it...you will get better...give yourself a chance...okay?
__________________  artichack
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Capp
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Member
Member Since Mar 2009
Location: OKC
Posts: 143
15 13 hugs
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Apr 05, 2009 at 08:00 PM
#5
Hey there,
Please get help. You need it and you need it fast. I don't want you to OD on too many sleeping pills - it's too easy. Just call a hotline or get your mother to take you to the doctor, but please go. __________________ Sad in TX   
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Capp
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Jan 2009
Location: Scotland/Canada
Posts: 1,502
15 |
Apr 06, 2009 at 09:49 AM
#6
Sending you lots of hugs...
I agree with everyone else, you need to get help and you need it now. Overmedicating is not the answer, and it's very, very dangerous. I know that all you want to do is sleep to avoid the bad thoughts in your head but that's not going to solve anything. You need to take active steps to fight them, which is scary, but you don't deserve any less. Please be careful, and get the help you need right away. Sending you lots of hugs and good vibes. Take care. 
__________________ Rebecca "If you're going through hell -- keep going." - Winston Churchill It's better to live your own destiny imperfectly than to live an imitation of somebody else's life with perfection. - Elizabeth Gilbert Bring on the wonder, we got it all wrong, we pushed you down deep in our souls, so hang on. Bring on the wonder, bring on the song, I pushed you down deep in my soul for too long. - Susan Enan http://igetupagain.wordpress.com/ |
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Berries
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Grand Member
Member Since Feb 2009
Location: 616 Limbo Lane
Posts: 673
15 |
Apr 06, 2009 at 03:38 PM
#7
Fear is a terrible thing. My wish for you is that you can find a way to face the fear - confront it directly - and then come out on the other side.
I'm not saying it's easy . . . __________________ The End The End The End The End The End The End The End The End The End The End The End The End The End The End The End The End The End The End The End The End The End The End The End The Beginning 
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Berries
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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