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#1
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Ah symbolism. Been feeling like I don't say or do the right things lately, I'm up and then I'm down, I'm ok then I'm crying. One time a while ago I told t I felt like the world was crashing down around me. The smart *** moved the shade and looked outside and said, "nope, it all still looks the same." Well this morning it doesn't. Because my van breaking down last week and me having to rely on my exfiance--the one who screamed and me and was meaner than he's ever been to me just a few days earlier--because that wasn't enough, things really did have to start falling down around me. I was laying in bed early early early this morning not sleeping and there was a tearing noise followed by a severe crash and dust. I look up through the dark to see a huge gaping hole in my ceiling. A portion of my ceiling tiles had fallen plus all the insulation--rolled and blown--had fallen. Can't stay home from work today to clean it up because I worked from home Wed-Friday last week because of my car, so I can't take Kaity to karate tonight and now she's slamming doors and not talking. She normally isn't like that but she was really looking forward to going because Saturday she won 1st place in sparring and weapons, plus she is worried about what her blood tests came back and her doctor appointment has to be moved because she has drivers training and isn't allowed to miss any of that and I don't know how to fix my ceiling and I can't afford to have anyone come in and do it and someone I care deeply about and love as a daughter doesn't believe that's possible and there are things out of my control that I can't fix and I'm about to absolutely lose it. I thought I had things under control--I went to the lagoon and screamed--but I need to again because I can't keep crying.
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#2
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__________________
As long as people aren't asking me if i'm all right, i am alright. |
![]() cantstopcrying
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#3
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(((((((((cantstopcrying))))))))))
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Strong and Wonderful Strong and Wonderful!!!!!
__________________
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http://purplebutterfly.psychcentral.net/ |
#4
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Are you sure?
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#5
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![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Do you have any friends who know how to fix things? Or anyone really... I'm not sure what happened but you can also look things up online, or go to a hardware store and ask advice of an employee - say you're looking for something to fix it and whereabouts to look - see what they say. Sometimes you can find an employee who will know alot about fixing things and can give advice. Just some ideas dunno if they'll help ![]() ![]()
__________________
![]() Yesterday I was so clever, so I want to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself. |
![]() cantstopcrying
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#6
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......yes im positive you are strong & wonderful:d
__________________
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
http://purplebutterfly.psychcentral.net/ |
#7
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#8
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(((((((((((((((((cantstopcrying)))))))))))))))))))))))
My dad told me an anecdote that might help you out. He's a pilot, and what he learned when you're flying is that if something goes wrong, you MUST NOT PANIC. When he was training, it was the instructor, my dad and one other student in the plane. The other student was flying when the propellor stopped, and she panicked and let go of the throttle and covered her eyes with her hands. The instructor grabbed the controls and managed to glide the plane down to safety, then once they were on the ground he yelled at the student for letting go of the controls. Plane crashes are not inevitable when something goes wrong -- something goes wrong, the pilot panicks, and THEN the plane crashes. The number one rule in emergency situations is not to panic, but to KEEP FLYING THE PLANE. Your engine cuts and you do not think "We're going to die!", you think, "Okay, what do I do now?" It's like that with life too. Don't panic. Don't let go of the controls. Just keep flying the plane. Tackle things as they come at you, take things one step at a time, and you'll eventually glide to safety. Good luck with everything. You'll be all right. ![]() ![]() ![]()
__________________
Rebecca "If you're going through hell -- keep going." - Winston Churchill It's better to live your own destiny imperfectly than to live an imitation of somebody else's life with perfection. - Elizabeth Gilbert Bring on the wonder, we got it all wrong, we pushed you down deep in our souls, so hang on. Bring on the wonder, bring on the song, I pushed you down deep in my soul for too long. - Susan Enan http://igetupagain.wordpress.com/ |
![]() LizzyB
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#9
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![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Whoa, Can. I can see how you would be overwhelmed! You may want to do your breathing & relaxation exercises for some calmness, & clearer thinking for example maybe if you broke this mountain down into smaller, do-able tasks. One item at a time. Just like One Day at a time, one hour at a time, one issue at a time. A fresh can of Teflon Spray for your whole body might be helpful! With your Teflon coating nothing negative penetrates your body, mind or spirit! Remember DBT!! Just my thoughts Can (Do!). ![]() Love You, Holmes |
![]() LizzyB
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#10
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Oh holmes, you are so right. I picture it in my mind and all I see is this big gaping hole in my ceiling with tiles and insulation on the floor and I don't know where to start. If I break it down, start small. I guess I have to start from the bottom and work up...I need to clean the insulation. But there is so much of it and so little time. Start in one corner I guess. I kept looking up this morning thinking if only I had more money, I'd really like to turn that part of the attic into a loft, now that it's open! Teflon--I totally ran out of teflon. I will absolutely spray it all over me! Holmes, you are so wise and caring, and always bring such great perspective to things. Breathing, I need to remember to do that!
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#11
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I'm sorry things are so overwhelming. I hate that when one thing happens, it feels like dominoes and everything seems to spiral. I do what I call "catastrophizing" over everything. I need people to tell me "stop". To breath, reality check, look around and plan. One thing at a time....It isn't as easy as I made it sound and I'm really not minimizing your situation. I DO know it's a horrible feeling, but I believe you are stronger than you feel. One thing at a time...baby steps.
Thinking of you. ![]() |
#12
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#13
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#14
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![]() cantstopcrying
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#15
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Listen, I feel for you. Lots of things going on at the same time, and it feels overwhelming. Here's what's great about PsychCentral: people actually can help one another. Some of the things people have said in response to you seem really helpful, and if they didn't help you, I will say that they did help me. Hopefully, both of us...maybe more.
Here's what's funny (wierd, not ha-ha). I had just come home and was going to sit down and write a post about how entirely awful I was feeling, and how things were going badly and etc. When I opened up Psych Central I saw your post and the replies to it. I already feel better. So thanks for posting about what's wrong for you. I feel better somehow knowing I'm not the only one, plus as I said, there's some good advice. Teflon spray is a good thing. Breathing is also good. Breaking things down into small pieces is great advice. I hope these things help you. Also know I'm thinking of you. Been there, done that with the daughter thing. Still there sometimes, but it gets a lot better. Don't worry, you are not ruining her life. ![]() Sorry about the ex-fiance. Wish you could stay away from that person, as he is probably bad for you, at least now. I've got some kind of animals (mice, I think) living in the ceiling of one of the rooms in my house, and expect it to fall down any day just like yours did. I also cannot afford to get it checked out or fixed. Yikes. ![]() Is there anything to laugh about in all of this? That's something I find very valuable. Try to see humor!!! Are things at such a ridiculous stage that they are so absurd you have to laugh? What if your life were a reality show? Would it actually be kinda humorous? ![]() Maybe not. Don't feel pressured, like if you can't find something funny you're a failure. It's ok if it's not funny. I hope all this helps, because your post helped me! Thinking of you!!! ![]()
__________________
"Better to light one candle than to curse the darkness" |
#16
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I love your post! Thank you so much! Yeah, I keep trying to find humor and it's just not coming. I had spent all of last weekend cleaning and dusting in there. The only positive is that now I can make an attic access that's bigger and easier to get to then the other one! What I'd love to do is to rip it all down and put new drywall up, but unless Ty Pennington shows up in my yard with a great big bus, I don't see that happening. And if Ty Pennington, did show up, I'm thinking I would be busy staring at his gorgeous self to pay attention to anything else!
![]() Thank you so much for your words of encouragement and I love pc for the very reason that the love and support and words here are for everyone, not just one or two. |
#17
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![]() Ella
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![]() cantstopcrying
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#18
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(((((((((((((((( Can )))))))))))))))))
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![]() cantstopcrying
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#19
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![]() ((( CSC ))) not good with words sorry but wishing you well |
![]() cantstopcrying
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#20
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I've missed you - A lot!!!
You know... You do need to just BREATHE sometimes!! Just like you told me ![]() I know there's a lot going on at the moment and people may have to miss out on things for things to get better for you, but that is fair enough! You need a bit of you time now and again. I'm sure your Daughters can understand, or at least try to, about why certain things that usually happen, aren't happening right now. Please take care of yourself, you deserve to feel better!!! And I'm sure some good will come out of the situation, like having a new attic! Yayness for you!! You will get there, promise!! Sending warm hugs your way (((((((((((((((((((cantstopcrying))))))))))))))))))) Thinking of you ![]() ![]() ![]() |
#21
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Hi, I hope you're feeling better today. I have a comment on your reply from yesterday:
"unless Ty Pennington shows up in my yard with a great big bus, I don't see that happening." Oh Boy, you said it! Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm .... Ty Pennington ....hey listen, if he should happen to show up at your place, could you send him my way after he's done? Thanks! Lizzy B ![]()
__________________
"Better to light one candle than to curse the darkness" |
#22
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