[Nicole1975]

I had a good day. I went out and saw some old friends and that was great. the benefit of moving somewhere where I have lived before. I came home early though because I was beginning to get overwhelmed by everything. I am still suffering from depression and can only handle so much. On the way home I was thinking about things and my mood just got worse. I called my mom and she seem mad so I didn't talk long. I took it personal that she was mad at me, but when I got home I found out she is just tired and not feeling all that well. I always jump to conclusions and they are always for the worst. Everyone says that I need to be more positive. I am sick of hearing that, how can you be positive when you feel so bad all the time. I have been hospitalized 3 times in the last 2 months, which is why mom brought me home. I am glad to be home but it isn't lifting the depresssion it is making it worse because I have to pretend all the time with my family. Anyway thanks for letting me vent, I don't have anyone else. I only have a few friends and they don't understand and my parents for sure don't understand. I wish they did, it would help a lot.

[justfloating]

(((((((((((((Nicole))))))))))))))))

[turquoisesea]

*hugs*

This may sound odd... but maybe after what has happened, I wonder if you still have to pretend in front of your parents?

Society seems to expect everyone to be "happy" , for the normal human state to be happiness - but it's just not. And especially now for you it's not. That's not wrong. It's just life and it sucks. But with your family maybe you shouldn't pretend, so the burden can be lifted. That wouldn't help me where I am right now, but I think it might help you. I mean this as food for thought... I hope I didn't upset you in any way be saying this

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((((((( Nicole )))))))))))))))))

[Sad In TX]

I agree with turquoisesea. It's ridiculous how we've put such a premium on happiness when the fact of the matter is no one seems to be truly happy. I take those who say to pretty much "get over it" as those who don't understand depression. It's worse than a mood - it's an illness!
The point is you don't HAVE to get over it, and it's time to stop acting like nothing is wrong. By doing this you are putting way too much pressure on yourself and are probably withdrawing more.

Some people have a harder time getting over some things than others; and it's completely normal. What's not normal is to bottle up and hide from everything for the sake of their happiness. What about you, right?
Take care!

[ambivalentlythere]

Nicole I agree with the previous two posts but I'd like to add that I can totally relate to this. Every time that I try to tell someone that I am depressed they pretty much tell me to either "try to be happy therefore I will be" or "think positively" I feel like my family (whom I'm living with at the time) does not acknowledge mental health or mental illness. All I can say is that I hope things start improving for you. Have you tried talking with your family? or maybe just one of your family members who you feel would understand best?

I wish you all the best, and come back to vent anytime