[kandrewsx]

my mums disabled, and since im the youngest and the only child left in the house I have to do everything to help her because she can't manage on her own. It just feels like its never going to stop, but gradually get worse and worse, and I don't think I can keep the strong front up for much longer. I know it must be difficult for my mum to live with her condition, but all the stress is on me?

[racee]

I'm sorry you are going through this hard time.
On that note...you might get more...more helpful responses if you post this in the caregivers support forum....this is a good place to post too, and also you might find additional support in that forum

I was a caregiveer for my mom before she died and both my grandparents need looking after, and i know the feeling of "is this ever going to end" " is everyone sick"?
and than i look at mysewlf and i too have a chronic condition..but it make me more aware of what the 'supporter' might be feeling.

[Leed]

Hi ~ You don't say how old you are, but I assume you're still in school. This MUST be very hard on you. I can understand how you feel, because I took care of my husband when he was dying of cancer -- and I had to be right there 24/7, and it was exhausting. So I'm sure you get pretty tired too.

Doesn't your Mom's insurance pay to have someone come in to the house and help during the day? Or maybe just a couple of times a week to give you a break?? Isn't there any adult relatives that could come and help you? Perhaps you could call Social Services in your area and see what help they can offer.

I do hope you can get some help. Please keep us posted. We all really care. God bless you. Hugs, Lee

[GRUMPYPA]

I know its hard on you but what you are dong is great. My wife is my fulltime carer and Im amazed she hasnt pushed me in front of a truck, with what I put her through. Your Mum would be lost without you and I would be lost without my wife . Hang in there you are a very special Person for what you do. Try and see if you can get some help. I wish their were more like you.

[Perna]

Maybe get a part-time carer to come in so you can get out more and pursue something for yourself? http://www.hemelonline.com/hemel_hem...formation.html

[yellowted]

Please read my link on the finance forum about social care changes

you should not have to 'care' for your mum, you have the right to a life and that is being recognised by government in the uk .

if your mum is disabled then she should be under the care or adult services and therefore is entitled to apply for direct payments to meet her care needs, this is where the council pay the money they would normally pay to a care agency to provide care to your mum directly to her. if she is not receiving carers coming into help her then i would still apply on the grounds that the strain is effecting your relationship with her (your relationship has changed from being her child to her carer!) this is one area which direct payments addresses, also if your mum needs help with personal care, going out, socialising or her life has changed significantly because of her disability these can also be factors for receiving the payments.

it seems quite a mine field, but believe me it is not as there is a lot of support out there surrounding direct payments.

you can use the money for hiring Carers to lighten your load, take your mum out, do her shopping, housework,hey i even used mine to buy this laptop(to reduce social isolation and do internet shopping when i an unable to go out)!!

Has she applied for DLA? Taxi card? Blue badge? free travel pass? dial a ride?
the more ways of getting her out the easier your life will be! dial a ride is brilliant, you have to book before the day you want to go but they pick you up from your door, take you to a supermarket, even assist you around the shop if you need pushing or things reaching, even pack your shopping for you if you need them to, then bring you back to your home and carry in your shopping! ok i felt really odd on a bus load of older people as i am only 38 but it does give me independance that i can choose my own shopping and gets me out of the house for a couple of hours a week and as i go the same time each week, i have made some friends who also regularly go at that time too!!

if there are things which would help her be more independant, tell her OT, you never know what they may be able to do (listen to me preaching on when mine only came up with half a ramp to get me out of my home!!) they may be able to arrange delivered lunch, or a service to take her to a club, group or the likes to give you a break?

ask around, there may be a befrienders service or a voluntary group which offers help getting her to appointments, taking her for a walk(or push), or just even sitting with her whilst you are out!
if you want to personal message me i am willing to tell you more about direct payments and self directed support xx