[Grey Matter]

I was diagnosed with chronic extreme inflammation of the cartilage, connective tissue, and chest wall (all in my chest). I am still being tested for lupus, which it is really starting to look like. While they come to doctors appointments with me, and when they are there they aren't in denial, they show care and respect and understand the new limitations of my body. But the second we go home, it's like I've made it all up in my head. When I cry from pain and need my sister to get my mom, my mom gets annoyed and goes "there is nothing I can do for them!".

My doctors advised against going to school/getting a job because my immune system is shot. And if I get sick before I am truly diagnosed, I can get sick enough to land in the hospital for weeks. My vitamin D and others were at level 4 on my last blood test. It makes me weak, exhausted. I. Am. In. Constant. Pain.

But my dad is pushing me to get a job. I had an interested party contact me today, and I feel like I shouldn't have said anything. Because while I want it, while I need it, while I missing working so god damn much, I need to LISTEN to my body right now. I can't let this get any worse.

My mom tends to shrug it off. My dad tends to push me to do these things my body CAN'T. "Go for a long walk", "Walk to the store and pick these up", "take the job! You can walk five miles!"

My brother was terminally ill. I get it. They are scared. But so am I. And I can't do this alone, I did everything else alone, but this is so heavy. And I need someone to respect me and understand. Ugh.

[January]

I am very sorry your parents are in denial over your medical issues. It sounds like you're doing a good job of self care despite their efforts to get you to do things your unable to manage. I hope the Drs make a correct Dx soon and that you are on the path to feeling better quickly.

Jan

[(JD)]

You probably don't need the added stress of a job right now anyway...but when you are ready, there is work through the computer you might find, so you won't have to deal with the autoimmune issues with someone else.