[Mya1987]

I have recently been diagnosed with a chronic lung disease. It has taken a huge toll on my quality of life. I'm married with 2 kids, and I work full-time managing a hair salon. I really don't know how I get through most days. I feel like I'm always running on empty because of my medication and constant stress. I often have to work long hours, and sometimes I'm on my feet for my entire shift without breaks. It's the nature of my job, but I'm starting to think I can't physically do it anymore.

I was hospitalized for my condition twice, a few months back. I have received threats from my boss that I might get demoted if I continue to get sick and miss time. I realize that this threat was against my human rights, and I would fight if I had to. It causes me huge amounts of stress knowing that I could be demoted and not be able to pay the bills. It frustrates me that I work for a place that lacks such professionalism, but i love my job.

My husband and I have issues that we need to work on. We are in marriage counseling. I hate that I never have any energy to deal with things properly. I feel like I'm trying, but at the end of the day I'm exhausted, and my medication makes impossibly irritable. I want to be positive and work on things, but I have a hard time pulling myself out of the lows I get into.

To make all of this worse, I don't have anyone in my life outside of my immediate family. I've grown apart from my other family (parents, siblings, cousins, etc) and I don't have any friends anymore. I basically work, try to parent and sleep. I have no energy for anything else. I have no idea how to make new friends right now, and I can't cope with these feelings of isolation. Whenever my husband and I aren't getting along, I fall off the deep end, and I just feel like I want to die. Some days I feel like I'm only still here because of the kids. I'm aware I need counseling, but I'm broke. I've missed too much work being sick. I'm on a waiting list for free counseling, but it still may be awhile before I get in.

I can't cope with the sadness anymore.. I want to get better and improve myself, so I thought coming here would be a good start.

Any advice would be much appreciated. TIA!

[healingme4me]

Sorry to read of your new diagnosis. Receiving news of a lifelong illness can be shocking, worrisome and filled with unknowns. I found it to be much like a grieving process and also a point where priorities took a major overhaul and then I made some life changes that reduced the levels of stress that I was experiencing.
I am guessing that your employer isn't big enough to offer fmla coverage? Being a hairdresser is physically demanding, one of my mom's closests friends wound up opening her own in home business, I'd hear all about it.
I've learned from having a lifelong illness, myself, that depression is something that is par for the course and at the same time necessary to address. With the meds that you are on, are any an anti depressant? Because you've a serious medical condition, I doubt any doctor would question why you'd need one. That's my unprofessional take on it, but since you can't be in therapy right now, that's something that you can use since I understand what you mean about sometimes feeling the way that you do.
I hope you are able the utilize group support on PC. It's certainly an outlet.

[(JD)]

ugh. I don't know what is causing your chronicity... mine is allergies... I am allergic to most medicines that would normally help and have had to revert to finding herbal remedies. Please do check them out... education is a gift. (Read Dead Doctors Don't Lie, go to sites like drugfreedoctor.org...) I personally take guarana (an herb) to clear my lungs and especially for an allergic reaction (anaphylaxic) which closes my airways.

Hang tough.. you never know when something is in the wings that will help you.

Depression does come with chronic illness... and it's a day to day battle but can be won.

[catlover0323]

So sorry to hear that you are dealing with so many challenges right now. I am thinking of you and sending positive vibes your way with lots of healing energy. take care!