[Joanna319]

I had been managing to live a 'part time life' within the constraints of M.E & Hypersomnia for 27 years, with the support of my now ex husband, and then my Partner. He was removed by the Police & Domestic Violence in Jan after I had a breakdown and taken to hospital for self neglect. I am now totally alone, no family or friends, and completely housebound. Every day is the same, I get up, lie on the sofa & immerse myself in the Web, until I go back to bed. I dont have the energy to look after myself, it is so painful & exhausting to do anything so I am filthy, in filthy clothes, in a filthy house. I have a temporary Carer who comes in for 15 mins a day when I get my one hot drink of the day. She is telling everyone she has concerns about me but no one seems to have a solution. I have piles of paperwork I need to deal with urgently with Bailiffs visiting regularly, but I dont seem to have the will to tackle it. I hide in my Ipad and want the world to go away and leave me alone because it is too painful to face the fact I have absolutely no quality of life, and my problems are too overwhelming.
How can I carry on with everything I had gone, trapped in a body that wont work, failing to cope and no light at the end of the tunnel. All i can do is cry myself to sleep every night, then get up and read. Thats it. I am bored, frustrated, scared, and oh, so so lonely. I miss my family, my daughter (then 13), my friends who all permanently cut me off 5 years ago, even my ex partner despite his abuse and stealing all my money. Sorry to go on, I feel totally helpless. I try to find positives & help myself, but at 48 yrs old I cannot even walk, and am just passing the endless time until I die.

[gayleggg]

I'm so sorry things are so rough for you. I don't really have any solutions, but just wanted you to know someone cares.

[88Butterfly88]

Maybe you can go to some kind of support group, perhaps one for domestic violence victims? It would be a good way to meet people in a similar situation. Also, consider therapy, a psychiatrist, or perhaps an outpatient program for those with mental health issues (insurance may pay). Thinking of you.

[Joanna319]

Thank you. It was quite disheartening seeing all the views but no replies! I realise it was pretty negative so appreciate you taking the time x

[jaynedough]

Originally Posted by Joanna319

Thank you. It was quite disheartening seeing all the views but no replies! I realise it was pretty negative so appreciate you taking the time x

Sometimes people just don't know what to say. I'm sorry you're going through this. I hope you can get some relief soon.

hello.

how are you doing joanna

sending hugs
((((((hugs))))))))))

[Skeezyks]

Hello Joanna319: The Skeezyks sends healing thoughts your way with the hope that you will be able to find deep peace in your life...

[Marylin]

Hi Joanna,I am sorry to hear of your pain.Has your local hospital got an ME support group and have you asked social services for more hours help for personal care?It sounds like you need a lot of help with washing yourself and grooming.Home help may be part of this too as is someone to prepare meals if you are unable.
I have had a lot of experience of being really ill and struggling alone,so know how extremely hard,painful and isolating it is,you feel unloved and abandoned and miss having anyone around,even if they had been abusive,as you say.
I hope somehow, you can find the help you need.Would you consider ringing round local churches to see if they have volunteers that can help out?
I hope you will keep going and strive to improve your quality of life as much as you can,you are worth it and deserve it.God bless you.Marylin.

[Pierro]

Joanna, you need help, to get yourself back to the point where you can look after yourself.. Have social services not helped you with this? Please Joanna,I know that your self esteem is very low. Let people help you.

[Worksfire1]

omg, u r not alone. My day is just like yours. I cant hardly walk, shower, house is a mess...

I care, too. Keep posting. How are you? Do you like to read or watch tv?

I prefer the Internet and reading. I watch some tv, but not much.

I'm in the US...unfortunately I'm unfamiliar with services in your area. I can tell you we care and you are not alone.

[eyesclosed]

Oh so sorry I'm The same way but after 13 days I had to clean myself up and get another 2wks worth of food. Thats the onlything I go out for or I used too. I,m a dog lover so I got a puppy funny how I wiil take care of Cooper but noy myself but I made big improvements because he makes me move so it's exhausting but I really can move. What do u think would u move for a puppy.

[SilentMelodee]

This is heartbreaking to read, I'm so sorry! I feel similar to you. Just not able to function. Even taking a shower seems to be so much work. I can't seem to accomplish anything. And can't even manage to keep in touch with the few people I have in my life. It's a very lonely existence.