Different treatment for men vs. women?

My husband and I both have type 2 diabetes. We have the same insurance and go to the same clinic.

I know each case is individual, and what works for one person might not work for another, but something about this seems unfair.

Hubby eats whatever the hell he wants, regardless of how carby it is. In fairness he does abstain from sweets, but the reason he does is that he is old school enough to still think sugar is the thing diabetics need to stay away from. He does eat artificially sweetened candy, by the way, because hey, there's no sugar in it. Same amount of calories and carbs as the regular stuff, but oh well. He never reads a label and has no idea how many carbs he's piling into himself. I have explained to him that all carbs should be watched out for and eaten in moderation, but it's like I'm speaking Klingon. He does not exercise. And he won't check his glucose levels even if you offered to pay him.

Meanwhile, I'm logging every carb I put in my mouth, taking care not to lose track or go over the recommended allowance. I have a continuous glucose monitor in my arm, so at least I don't have to finger stick, but it does mean I am continually aware of what my glucose levels are doing. I am carefully balancing the right amounts of carbs, proteins, exercise, and insulin so I don't go either high or low. I work at a physically active job, and I exercise to YouTube videos. Since I've had the CGM, and I've been doing these things, I've brought my A1C from 11.1 (red alert danger zone) to 7.4 (almost controlled). In two months, it came down that far. The down side to it is that such a fast drop has sent me into a condition called diabetic hyperphagia, where I cannot feel full. After eating a sufficient amount that a normal stomach would feel satisfied, possibly even stuffed, I am immediately hungry again. I don't want more just because it was delicious and I enjoyed it; I want more because my body hasn't yet adjusted to the new normal. It thinks I'm starving to death, and it's quite loudly telling me to eat. That's what the nurse managing my diabetes explained to me. It's all the more reason for me to log my intake, so I don't lose track, but sheesh, is it torture! It's like not being able to put out a fire.

My husband and I are both overweight. Whereas the first thing any healthcare worker will say to me when I ask for advice is, "You need to lose weight," as if I didn't already know that, they're not talking to hubby about his food intake, or his exercise, or checking his glucose levels. If his A1C is high, it's OK, let's start you on this medicine and that medicine and see if we can bring it down. He is barely doing anything actively to control it. Just takes the medicine the doctor tells him to take, doesn't exercise, doesn't check his numbers, and doesn't log or even worry about what he eats. Meanwhile, I am doing all of the above, and I have to fight and jump through hoops to be started on medicines that he gets offered automatically.

Make it make sense?

No, it does not. If your gut feeling tells you it's wrong, it is.

You seem to be a responsible patient. Keep it up. Women live longer than men.

The difference is between compliant and non-compliant. Maybe the dr knows not to try to get your h to change! Its not woman and man, its thinking human and stubborn mule.

^^That makes sense. Hubby is a wonderful man, but he is extremely change resistant.

At this point, I can honestly say it's discrimination. I'm still having to jump through hoops, and they're not responding to my messages when I bring it up. It was the same way getting my glucose monitors. It took AGES. My husband doesn't even have to ask twice for what he needs.

Contact your patient advocate.

If that does not work, try The Joint Commission: Report a Patient Safety Concern or File a Complaint | The Joint Commission

I receive mental health therapy through the same system. I scheduled an emergency session with my therapist about what was going on. She got in touch with her manager, who told me how to do exactly that. I had told my diabetes care team that I would give them a week before filing a discrimination complaint, and a week would have been this coming Tuesday, so I will be fair and at least wait until then. But the manager may have been able to light some fires under some butts. I got a call later from a nurse, telling me the prior authorization has finally been requested and received by the pharmacy, and has a 99% chance of approval within 3 to 5 days.

Well, I'm not getting excited yet. A 99% chance is not a 100% guarantee, and besides, I heard "within 3 to 5 days" two weeks ago. I'll believe it when I see it. Right now I don't trust these people as far as I can throw an elephant.

I don't like what a shrieking shrew I had to turn into to get the ball even started rolling. My husband can simply ask for what he needs. I can ask and ask and ask and ask, and nothing's going to be done until I'm absolutely losing my last marble. I'm going to talk about that in my next session.

I work in health care myself. Sometimes I think I wouldn't want to have me for a patient. But then, I don't think I'd ignore my residents until they're screaming, either.

That is terrible.

Can you switch providers?