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Grand Magnate
Member Since May 2004
Posts: 4,415
20 |
#1
PTSD is a dissociative disorder right? Well, My T and I were speaking about the accomodations I need for work and she stated to me that I have a major Dissociative disorder. Well duh. The part I am confused about is that in my self I feel different parts but I know them all. I know the feelings that lead to a shift and the roles of my different parts. This T does not believe in labeling the parts etc. it works for me as no one has names or real identities, just roles in trying to help us survive the concentration camps of growing up. The young child who wants love and protection and can't understand words but can understand the way things feel, the Pissed off adolescent that does not trust anyone and everything that anyone says is held to scrutiny few have passed. The parental self who wants to protect and tells me to shut up and stop being vulnerable and don't get hurt and hurts us to keep us safe. Yells at us for having needs, punishes. The healthy adult me who writes this. The punishing parental self comes when there is accute fear and a sense that danger is near. Shut up you whiny brat, I will show you something to cry about. Show the world you don't need anything from them.
I am sorting out what makes working hard and a lot of it is that I am so frequently not present. I am somewhere else, I am dissociating. That affects my memory a lot. I can't stay on task. I can't know what is next and I lose concentration. This is the problem that it is causing pain for me. I do not feel as though they are seperate beings, just parts that have had to exist to survive. She says I am dissociating a lot more lately. Well crap, I am on meds and working hard, what's the deal? Family stresses, major work stresses. But I used to be able to handle anything and now I am a partially functional wuss. |
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Alatea
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Alatea
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Legendary
Member Since Oct 2004
Location: ohio, us
Posts: 15,446
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#2
(((((((((((((((((( ww ))))))))))))))))))))))) actually PTSD is an anxiety disorder. however, i think it should be a dissociative disorder, because most dissociative disorders accompany PTSD. what do i know tho, right?
i've known a couple of ppl who are "parted" but are not DID. DID is when the parts are so separate that they take executive control of the body alot and alot of the times the main person has no recollection. that's DID. DID also is accompanied with a great amount of "amnesia" or loss of time. that's the only difference in where DID is actually DID and not DDNOS or PTSD or another dissociative disorder...when the parts take executive control accompanied with time loss most of the time. that's how i understand it and it was explained to me. there are some really good resourses for the differences online. (((((((((((((((( ww ))))))))))))))))) i hope things improve for you soon. dissociation is no fun..whatever the form...most of time. love, kd __________________ |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since May 2004
Posts: 4,415
20 |
#3
actually, disscociation is one of the diagnostic criteria for ptsd I believe, as is lost time etc. Haven't looked in a while. I just wanted to explain where I am is all.
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Legendary
Member Since Oct 2004
Location: ohio, us
Posts: 15,446
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#4
ww, i hope nothing i said offended you? it certainly wasn't meant to, hon. i was making a joke about what do i know. guess it wasn't funny. i'm not really with it tonite. i also meant to say "PTSD accompanies alot of dissociative disorders".
i'm very sorry. __________________ |
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Poohbah
Member Since Dec 2004
Posts: 1,465
19 |
#5
(((Wisewoman)))
I would love to give some bits of sage advice here but I can't. Just know that I care that you are hurting. take care, place __________________ Hello |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since May 2004
Posts: 4,415
20 |
#6
Hey Kimmy and Place, I am actually not hurting, just trying to understand and hear other's experiences. Sorry if I sounded harsh. Need to understand so I can be more present.
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#7
ww,
I've read your post and with how exhausted I am after the dis. hearing yesterday I'm not in that mental space to respond with enough understanding. I want to look up in a book I have here to try to better get more of what you're saying. I am trying to hear you. Your message is clear. This end needs fine tuning. take care and I'm thinking of you sweetie. |
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Legendary
Member Since Oct 2004
Posts: 10,842
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#8
((((((((((((((((((Wisewoman)))))))))))))
Here is a link to PTSD criteria, maybe it will help? If not, please disregard. Sending you best wishes. http://www.ptsdsupport.net/whatis.html __________________ |
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Member
Member Since Jan 2005
Location: sunny south florida
Posts: 48
19 |
#9
sorry to put my nose in here but just wanted to let you know it will get better spent most of life seperate all the time losing time and thinking it was normal the child was born of the body and all hell broke loose losing lots of time and being accused of things
that was almost 6 years ago and we still are seperate but know about each other and often chat being non functional at times is part of this disability we spent lots of time in the hospital so we think you are doing really great keep it up we need you here thanks KC |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since May 2004
Posts: 4,415
20 |
#10
thanks for the link want to, reminded me of a lot of additional things I have read. Thanks Fairy girl.
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Member
Member Since Sep 2004
Location: Michigan
Posts: 234
19 |
#11
Actually for me, I don't fit the criteria of PTSD. I'm DID though. I used to have the flashbacks & (what are they called) when you feel like it's happening all over again. I don't anymore. I have nightmares but my body/ mind doesn't go thru the feelings it did like PTSD says. So for me, I'm confused. My T doesn't care for labels herself. She prefers to focus on the person, not the diagnosis.
Love, RhysMadison |
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Legendary
Member Since Oct 2004
Location: ohio, us
Posts: 15,446
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#12
the same for me, rhysmadison. t doesn't focus on label and i don't either. he has to put something down for the paperwork. we deal with my day to day life. i used to have active PTSD, but don't any longer. i deal with triggers, however do not have flashbacks, etc.
it's all very confusing for me. that's why i have a hard time explaining myself well. i just know my experience and what has worked for me/us to function at a decent level. it's all so very confusing __________________ |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since May 2004
Posts: 4,415
20 |
#13
Seems I have slowly been triggering myself in that exposing the selves inside makes me want comfort and the only real, in this life comfort they ever got was from my Jane. So, I didn't know it but I have been spending the past few days seeing us through her eyes. Trying to be as accepting and loving as she. She is someone I want to emulate. She is gone. She loved all of mes.
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Elder
Member Since Mar 2005
Posts: 6,106
19 |
#14
Gee, wisewoman, that sounds just like me. Got no t now, but starting to have more probs than I can handle alone. I`m a bit scared of t because t has too much power. Have had a couple of good ones, but so hard to find one I can trust. First time in t (17), t locked me in darkened room & gave me 2500 microgm LSD. Took me 10 years to recover from the treatment. I don`t think the parts of us need names, in fact I think if they don`t think they have names it just means we are not quite as completely split as some people. Lucky? or not? My only official dx is anxiety disorder with intermittent dissociative fugue, but that`s coz I`ve never really told a t how it is with me. I know what you mean about the work, people like us have a lot of trouble holding paid jobs. I have given up all hope of paid work again for me, but I am 59 now. Would you consider factory work? As long as you lie about any education past high school, it`s often not that hard to get. The nature of the work (especially if too noisy for conversation) tends to be such that none of you are likely to forget what you are meant to be doing.
Then to satisfy your intellect & use whatever training you may have, you work as volunteer in that field whenever possible. Education is never wasted as it gives you more tools to handle problems of all kinds & increases your analytical skills which also helps. Strayed off the subject a bit there, sorry. I don`t think it matters much what official dx is, we know what happens to us. At least here they closed all the mental hospitals so at least no longer able to be incarcerated at will by your t. Perhaps the forums will give me courage to seek t again. __________________ ZORAH |
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Member
Member Since Sep 2004
Posts: 190
20 |
#15
Hi wisewoman,
i agree that labels are so not important. The only thing that really matters is that if you have separate parts your T needs to know and acknowledge it. If your T doesn't realize that there are separate parts he or she may say things that little parts shouldn't hear or imagine that the part present has the same views about everything as you do - or all the other parts do. Therapy for DID is more like group therapy and if your T treats all your parts with the same attention then it doesn't matter what they call it for the insurance. It's much better if there's a way to technically not be given a label that will limit you in the future- because of the misunderstanding of others and even limit employment,etc. i could never go to a T that didn't understand that what 'i' say is not what all of me believes and there are opposing parts to every part in my system. They need therapy also. Also my little ones- age 8 and under- can't hear some thing that the adults can. They would not understand at all. If you switched to a child part and were not able to drive or felt lost, then your T should know how to help you be adult again and get your bearings . The most difficult thing is that the therapist might imagine that you agreed with everything that 'you' said. Parts talk that disagree and would confuse the therapist that didn't acknowledge that you have DID. The therapist has to address each part to find out all the ways that you feel about something or it's a confusing mess that doesn't get you anywhere. i hope that it works out and your T understands you. Take care (((((wisewoman))))) safe hugs if ok, kerria |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since May 2004
Posts: 4,415
20 |
#16
Hmmm, it seems that T and I are well aware of the parts. I don't feel as fragmented as having little ones etc. I know there is a little me and the rest I already explained. I need to just know how to explain dissociation in a brief way for work accomodations. Memory stinks.
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#17
This site seemed to have somewhat recent information about what can be done for your disorder/disability.
Reasonable Accomodations: What Employers and Educators Should Know hth thinking of you. |
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Member
Member Since Jan 2005
Location: sunny south florida
Posts: 48
19 |
#18
wisewoman
when we were working the t gave the ada office a list of possible accomadations in the end working did not work out but it lasted 3 years good luck KC |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since May 2004
Posts: 4,415
20 |
#19
I asked my T to explain better for me today about the dissociation. She did, nothing I have not already heard. Tomorrow I meet and try to set up accomodations. Geez, I wish it were easier.
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Magnate
Member Since Apr 2004
Location: Utah
Posts: 2,940
20 |
#20
I'm weighing in late here, but I just wanted to add my two cents. PTSD is an anxiety disorder, however, dissociation is a very common feature and some moderate dissociative symptoms are an aspect of the diagnostic criteria.
As I've said a few times in the past, everyone experiences dissociation and it exists on a continuum, really. It is possible to have PTSD and not experience an extremely high level of dissociation. Some people with PTSD experience more of a moderate level of dissociation, and therefore would not qualify for the diagnosis of a dissociative disorder. So knowing that a person has PTSD does not necessarily mean they have a dissociative disorder. Dissociative disorders are characterized by an extremely high level of dissociation. WW, from what I know about you, you do seem to experience a very high level of dissociation and could probably be dx with a dissoc disorder in addition to PTSD. I can relate somewhat to where you are coming from. I am very compartmentalized, but not enough that there are distinguishable and separate "parts" necessarily. I don't know quite how to explain that, but I never have access to all the parts of my abilities and identity at once. I sort of live in several "modes" I guess you could say, and those modes don't overlap much. I have to move into a different mode to be able to have access to the abilities/feelings/beliefs/etc associated with that mode. There are no others inside with me, so nobody but me ever comes front (takes executive control) and I don't lose time. I experience a high level of dissociation and some aspects of my dissociation are similar to DID, yet I am far from being quite that separate and I don't even quite qualify for DDNOS. I hope I didn't just muddy the waters more Angela __________________ Soon I'll grow up and I won't even flinch at your name ~Alanis Morissette |
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