[Slick399]

I have a new boyfriend and he has pointed out that often when we are talking, my voice changes to that of a little girl instead of a grown adult woman and then it changes back to that of an adult, which I am. Point blank last night he said, "so, what is the deal with the other voice?>" I did not know what to say except that it changed when I was nervous, but in actuality my voice changes when I get frightened. I have noticed that there are times when I am sexually aggressive with him and then my personality is different, too. It is like I have three distinct entities: little girl, adult and sexually aggressive adult.

Is this a sign of dissociation??? I am quite, quite concerned. This makes me feel very out of control like I don't have a say in my personality.

Thanks,
Slick399

[Slick399]

I am also doing and saying things that I don't remember. Also have the following history:

molestation- ages 3 to 10
molestation- age 12
sexual assault by doctor- age26
rape- age 32
physical assault- age 31

I am now 44. Could these events still be bothering me?

Thanks,
Slick

[Slick399]

Now I feel like my new friend has discovered some hidden part of me and I am feeling really exposed, now and not even sure I want to continue with the relationship.

Any thoughts?

Slick399

NIce to meet you Slick. First I would find a therapist who could help you work thru some of the past issues you are dealing with. Diagnosis of any kind needs to come from a professional.
As far as your friend goes, perhaps you and he need to talk. i don't know how close your relationship is or how long you have seen him, but i believe that communication is very important whether dealing with any kind of abuse history or not. being able to discuss what is happening with you and talking about it is healthier than ending the relationship and running with no explanation. If you both decide that it is too uncomfortable to continue the relationship under the circumstances then so be it, but talk with him.

these are just my thoughts.

[Slick399]

Thanks, White Iris,

I will not just end the relationship but will talk things out. I was just rather surprised that he pointed this out to me, that's all. I do have a therapist and have worked through most of my history. I just wonder how this second voice has come up!

Slick399

[Eriksplus]

You could very well have DID.
Sometimes, "Alters" don't show untill later.
Hang in there, and be strong.
Erik

[wanttoheal]

Hi Slick,
Have you been under more stress than usual? I'm glad you have a therapist. Since you've been seeing one for a while and worked on so much stuff, I am thinking they would have known if you had/have a dissociative disorder but we can't diagnose here. Maybe you can talk to t next time you go and get things straightened up. I think everyone shows parts of themselves at different times, based on what is going on around them and that's pretty normal, imo. Please take gentle care and keep us posted.

[Slick399]

thanks, wanttoheal and Erikplus,

I have tried to take it easy the last day or so. Yesterday I did have a time where I felt like I was splitting off into different entities. I have been keeping notes of what it has felt like. The UPS man came to my door to deliver a package. When he said my name, I took the package and told him I would give it to her. (me)

I am finding three distinct entities. A 7 or 8 year old, an aggressive adult and a passive/obedient/kind adult.

Thanks for your support.

Slick399

[turquoisesea]

it's good that you're watching this and trying to learn what's going on.

Sometimes introspection and diary keeping are the best tools we have to figure out what's going on.

hope all goes well, and nice to meet you